AIBU with this? - Child looking over the fence!

[Dmanny30]

AIBU with this - everyone says I am, including my husband!

I have a 2 year old son, soon to be three & next door we have a year old boy living with his parents, now I must stress he’s such a lovely little boy & we have an alright relationship with his parents. But our fence is about 5 foot high.. & over the last few summers the little lad has pulled up a piece of garden furniture & literally stares into our garden. And I mean literally for hours on end whenever we’re in the garden, he’s always asking questions like “will you pass me that ball” “can your son play with that & that” I’m started to feel like free childcare cos his parents never ever come outside to play with him.

one instance during a particular hot few days I went into the garden early one morning at around 8ish to play while it was still cool but the bit of furniture had been moved so when he came out I could just see a little bit of his head & hands on the fence, I went inside for a sec & I came out to his father putting the bit of ratan furniture back at the side of the fence so he could state over.

now, even after a long day & my child is in bed and I go out for a glass of wine & a vape (I’m trying to stop lol) he’s still on the fence saying “what you drinking? My mummy drinks that” “are you smoking that’s disgusting” even once when I was sunbathing with my headphones on I looked slightly through my eyes & could see him staring…. He was there literally 20 minutes before he left… just been started at!

now, my husband says I have to remember his age, my father said the same & he went be like this forever but I think some boundaries need put in place and I’m not the ones to place them. I think it should be his parents but sometimes when he’s on the fence I can see them just laying on the sofa while I’m playing Barney the purple dinosaur.

i can’t make the fence higher & or put trellis panels up without it being obvious & im not 100% sure how his parents would take it if i did say something. I did once say to him that im having some chill time & it was time for him to go back to his own garden but he didn’t move.

AIBU for wanting some privacy or should i just remember he’s a toddler & grin & bear it?

We had this a few years ago .We thought it was quite sweet and used to chat to them . The kids now kick their ball against our fence endlessly , swear and shout , play loud music , chuck toys& other crap over our side and hang off the fence until it falls down . Enjoy it while it lasts !

My sister had the same with a next-door neighbour's child staring and throwing things over the fence at her dogs.

Mind you, when he was around 10-11ish he also started kneeling naked on the windowsill in his bedroom window and pressing his bits against the glass at her, so it could be worse.

Shrill teacher voice: “Excuse me! Could you get down from the fence please as we’d like some privacy.” Wave hands at him to sod off. If he continues staring, lean over the fence and shout “Hello?” to get the parents out and repeat the request.

Crosss your fingers that they’re reasonable people.

YABU as you have not talked to your neighbours about it. They may be the kind to assume that everyone engaging with their child thinks he is amazing.

Trellis and something spiky

B&M do this dense, leafy screening (they also do floral as well, if you prefer)

https://www.bmstores.co.uk/products/buxus-artificial-hedge-screening-4pk-392807

So many people in situations like this, there must be a market for those cricket pitch thjngs they wheel around to block out the sun. Maybe mini ones.
Just get some rigid willow panels and attach them to the fence. If it's their fence and they're likely to get shitty about it, attach the panels to battens at each end about a foot from the bottom of the batten and stick the ends into the soil on your side.

Gun turrets and razor wire.

What is he? 5, 6 or a toddler?

Put a trellis up 100%

Time for so,e bamboo fencing to block his view, or a clothes line.

So would I!
That would drive me round the absolute bend.

His mother ought to discipline him and tell him it’s rude to stare over a fence.
@Dmanny30
Get that privacy screen up asap.

You thought toddler age range went up to 6? 😂

toddler means someone who toddles.

Baby
Toddler
Pre-schooler
Schoolchild

we actually had this at the front of the house! I would get trellis and block him out and pretend your not outside he soon get the message! Wouldn’t bother chatting to the parents! Tried this and it doesn’t work they just get cranky as you’re stopping their lazy parenting styles.

I’d put up some trellis along the top. In our last house I cut down a bush, it was blocking a bit of light. The next week, the NDN put trellis all along the top of the existing fence, so the bush I cut down was clearly giving them a bit of privacy. I thought ‘ooh they’re a bit pissy about the bush’ but they were never funny, I never said anything, we all got along fine.

I would do it ASAP as surely he’s not doing it at this time of year where it’s constantly pissing down. If you do it it the summer months after a day of him talking about Barney, it’ll look obvious. Buy some trellis, whack it up this weekend. If they say anything. Say ‘oh I’m getting some clematis to grow up it in order to tart up the garden a bit.’

Vandal grease! And lots of it!

This. I think the staring I might be able to manage, but not the talking

Washing line along that side of the garden and a sacrificial bedsheets is the answer.

I have this in my back garden… I grew about 20-30 sunflowers that grew between 5-8ft tall and lined them up against the fence where they look over. Blocked them out nicely. I saved all the seeds and will be planting lots again this year too!

😂😂 leave me alone! I’m not the sharpest tool in the box!

i can’t make the fence higher & or put trellis panels up without it being obvious & im not 100% sure how his parents would take it if i did say something.

But they're being obvious about putting him on the furniture and letting him bother you all day, so why do you care about being obvious?

Put up the trellis with some climbing plants.

I feel sorry for the child, but I can't believe his father placed a chair there deliberately so that he could continue to peer over! Laziness and cheekyfuckery at best ... or worst!

He is just bored. I would.

Tell him not to stare.

invite him over to play with your little one now and then.

at that age we used to just hop the fence next door to get to gardens further along and find kids to play with. It is normal for kids to seek the company of others. Especially onlies.

Trellis and pyracantha (v spiky). Who cares if it’s obvious? They’re very obviously letting you look after their kid by not removing him and in fact encouraging him to hassle you!