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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not invited to hen party...

128 replies

Tilllly · 13/02/2024 10:04

My son is getting married shortly, and I get on well enough with my daughter-in-law to be

There's no conflict, we don't meet up for lunch or anything, but we text and chat reasonably regularly. I meet up with her mum for lunch or shopping or something every six or seven weeks or so, and we chat more regularly.

She had said that she was planning hen weekend, but said she was also thinking of doing an afternoon tea somewhere fancy, with her chief bridesmaids me and her mum

I said I would love that but haven't heard anything about it since, and I don't think it will happen now before the wedding

But then I have seen on Facebook, photos of her hen weekend with her bridesmaids and her mum. The early photos are just of them, but the later ones have another half dozen girls on the hen weekend

I didn't know anything about this. And I am feeling quite hurt, that I wasn't invited - If her mum wasn't invited, then I wouldn't think twice about it.

I'm not going to say anything, I don't want any upsets near the wedding, especially as I'm not 100% well and there's enough stress and tension just before a wedding, getting everything sorted isn't there?

Am I unreasonable to have expected an invite if her mum was going?

OP posts:
OriginalBirds · 16/09/2024 15:08

HJOANNEH · 16/09/2024 15:02

Her mother and aunts are invited

Yes, but they're her family! The hen party is for the bride's friends and family, not the groom's.

Henry2022 · 24/09/2025 11:12

easylikeasundaymorn · 13/02/2024 10:16

Yeah it's mean

As you say if her mum wasn't there and it was just her friends thats fine, but if you decide to invite the older generation then you should invite both sides.

Also she shouldn't have suggested doing something separately if she wasn't then going to do it.

I'd also be annoyed at your son tbh - he clearly knew what her plans were and should have said look if you invite your mum you should invite mine. Did he invite her dad to his stag?

Contrary to @Ldd89 mums (and also usually an aunt or a friend, on both sides) have come to nearly all of the hens I've been on.

I was invited to my DIL home hen. My husband went away for my son’s stag in ibiza. My DIL then had a hen in Marbella and invited her mum and a friend. I wasn’t invited and feel so upset. Spoke to son and he said it’s not all about me. I’m off work at the moment as so anxious and down. I’ve messaged him to say I’m sorry but my eldest son says he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore 🥲🥲🥲The wedding is in November. What can I do to make this right please? Xx

Notabikerchick · 24/09/2025 11:52

I’m sorry that this has made you sad. It wouldn’t have crossed my mind to invite my in laws to my hen night, I’d only known them as ‘bride’s side’ events. It was a long time ago though, maybe we did things differently then.

Id see if you can arrange the afternoon tea though, that could be lovely.

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