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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

House issues with ex husband

148 replies

fairycakes77 · 10/02/2024 19:58

I just need to know if I'm being unreasonable with my request.

I split up with my ex husband of 7 years at the beginning of last year, I fell out of love with him and ultimately ended up cheating on him. He left the marital home we bought together and my new partner moved in with me.

He has since started a relationship with someone and they've been together 8 months from what I know.
I've just had a baby with my new partner and because I am not on maternity leave, I can no longer afford to pay the mortgage on the house.

We are trying to sell the house and have been all this time, it is agreed I get back what I put into it which is £35k.

It was also agreed in a contract that should the house not sell by February this year (so now) by which my baby would be due then he would move back in to the house and pay the mortgage in full.

He has done this and is paying everything to do with the house on his own (he is well off) but he has moved his new girlfriend in with him too which I am far from happy about.

I don't know her, she could be ruining the house and I'm worried if she did anything then I wouldn't get my £35k I am owed.

He goes away on business sometimes up to a week at a time, I have asked him that no one is allowed to stay in the house when he is not there.

I asked him to check the insurance and the insurance says that it is fine but it still doesn't sit right with me.

I'm just not comfortable with someone else living in my asset.

I don't think I am being unreasonable but
AIBU?

OP posts:
Kat200669 · 11/02/2024 19:45

fairycakes77 · 10/02/2024 20:12

I'm not jealous I couldn't care less who he was shagging!

I'm just worried that I'll lose out on money in the house, he's agreed I'll get my money back but what if something happened to the house because of her?

Show quote history

Did you get his permission to move your partner in?? What if he'd trashed it.... he's done what you have done. Moved a partner in to the marital home. Presumably your partner didn't financially contribute to the house? Sounds like a bit of jealousy as he can afford it and you and your affair partner cant

user1471556818 · 11/02/2024 19:49

BloodyAdultDC · 10/02/2024 20:01

YABVU.

It's his house too, he's allowed to have whoever he wants staying.

Wow imagine if a bloke posted what you have .
Good luck to them

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 11/02/2024 21:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

lilaclustre · 11/02/2024 23:27

Just.... wow. This can't be real??? Hell of a quick turnaround for you and your new shag piece/partner with the baby right???

I just, no.. wait.. I can't. No point reasoning with you, you're utterly ridiculous.

Crumpleton · 11/02/2024 23:53

I'm not sure which scale of AIBU you think you're on but I can guarantee from any sensible person scale you're definitely right near the top end.

SapphOhNo · 12/02/2024 00:00

You're not just unreasonable you're outright ridiculous with immense double standards.

Treeinthesky · 12/02/2024 18:59

While she lives there and you own it she has to pay rent to you. Solicitor told me this.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 12/02/2024 19:23

Karmas a bitch isn't it OP!

GuinnessBird · 12/02/2024 20:36

Treeinthesky · 12/02/2024 18:59

While she lives there and you own it she has to pay rent to you. Solicitor told me this.

I bet her DP hasn't been paying rent...

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 12/02/2024 22:12

Ha ha ha so funny saying the new gf would have to pay the OP rent,
the OP's new bf couldn't even manage to pay the mortgage and that's why the OP has had to move out ! along with her bf and baby.

Karma is a bugger then it comes and bites you on the bum.

Pumpkinpie1 · 12/02/2024 23:06

OP you are on another planet 🌎. You broke up your marriage, had an affair and a baby then whinge about your Ex finding a GF .
Totally unreasonable

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 12/02/2024 23:50

Interesting that the OP hasn't ' borrowed ' her friend's account again to come back and update us...

BeachBeerBbq · 13/02/2024 06:48
spongebob squarepants bullshit GIF

Why are people eating these thinvs up on here lately?

Tombero · 13/02/2024 07:57

Is there something in his girlfriend’s past that worries you? If shes a reformed pyromaniac or something it might be a concern.

RatatouillePie · 13/02/2024 08:01

YABVU!!

This post is clearly a wind up as no one is surely that much of a CF??

Mouse82 · 13/02/2024 08:07

You're the one who moved your side piece in and you say you don't trust him.

BobbyBiscuits · 13/02/2024 08:17

I'm sorry but he's currently paying for the house and lives there, why shouldn't he have his partner in the house? You had your new partner while you and him were still together, surely that's worse. Do you really think she will burn the place down? I don't know why you deem her so vastly untrustworthy?

IncompleteSenten · 13/02/2024 16:05

YABU.
Particularly saying you don't trust him any more
I imagine he could well say the same about you!

You've made an agreement, you can't control who he lives with. If you don't get your money then you can talk to a solicitor. 🤷

bombastix · 13/02/2024 16:25

Treeinthesky · 12/02/2024 18:59

While she lives there and you own it she has to pay rent to you. Solicitor told me this.

A hand puppet is not a solicitor

Treeinthesky · 13/02/2024 18:51

@bombastix when I had mediation I was told of anyone moved in they had to pay rent by the Solicitor. I bought my ex out anyways last year

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 13/02/2024 19:58

@Treeinthesky

So you are saying the OP's new partner should have been paying rent to the OP's husband ?

Nanny0gg · 13/02/2024 20:01

fairycakes77 · 10/02/2024 22:22

Oh it's real! I'm not happy he's got her in the house.

It's not my fault he can't buy me out and it's not my fault it's not selling so why do I have to put up with him having her in there.

Neither of us want the house anymore i stayed out of the kindness of my heart so he could move on but situations change and I couldn't afford to live there anymore. It doesn't mean he should have someone else living there!

Can't he do a rental contract or something? Have tenants insurance? There must be something I can do to stop this from happening in my house!

Show quote history

Why was it all right to move your partner in?

What's good for the goose...

GuinnessBird · 14/02/2024 07:59

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 13/02/2024 19:58

@Treeinthesky

So you are saying the OP's new partner should have been paying rent to the OP's husband ?

That's been pointed out a few times and the poster hasn't responded, I wonder why 😂

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