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AIBU?

To find this passive-aggressive?

154 replies

RogueFemale · 10/02/2024 18:21

Background: all the houses in my neighbourhood put out food waste caddies on a Wednesday for waste collection Thursday mornings. They're the size of a bucket. I am guilty of not always taking mine back inside on Thursdays, especially if I don't go out, & sometimes I don't until the weekend. My only sin - I am otherwise a model of neighbourly virtue :)

There are a handful of other lazy neighbours like me.

Anyway, this Thursday afternoon I received an anonymous note (typed):

Dear Neighbours
We understand it is so much easier to leave your food caddy out all week...
Unfortunately there are issues with this:
They occupy space on our narrow pavement, making it difficult to walk and they are an eyesore too.
But the most concerning issue is that they are a health hazard, they attract rats.
Thank you for being a responsible neighbour, we like our street to look nice and we sure don't want rats around.
All best, Your neighbours

More context: The pavements are also bristling with bicycles chained to the fronts of houses (no front gardens), far bulkier than a bucket, but not "difficult" to walk past (N.B. even without anything on the pavement it's too narrow for a wheelchair because of protuding front steps). The caddies left out are empty, therefore not a rat magnet, - never seen a rat out front.

Yes, I accept that I'm not being the perfect neighbour, but I don't leave it out "all week" and the reasons given are invalid except for the eyesore thing. And I think anonymous passive-aggressive notes are an unpleasant way to try to address it, if a handful of food caddies bother you that much.

There's a very active neighbourhood email group, and this neighbour could have posted a generalised email saying 'please could everyone take in their caddies on Thursdays', explaining why they felt so strongly - and then no doubt all would pitch in agreeing how annoying it was when people didn't. That would've been fine, if they'd revealed their identity, I just find it creepy to send anonymous, passive-aggressive, sarcastic ("so much easier to leave your food caddy out") notes. I know another neighbour who got the same note.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

577 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
78%
You are NOT being unreasonable
22%
TheSnowyOwl · 10/02/2024 18:25

You know you shouldn’t be leaving them out so I won’t say anything further about that. However, I describe it as cowardly rather than passive aggressive.

I’d ask on your neighbourhood group if anyone else has received anonymous letters (I wouldn’t say what about) and if the person who has written them would like to come forward.

2dogsandabudgie · 10/02/2024 18:27

I wouldn't get worked up over this. We have food bins with lockable lids in our area but once the bin men have emptied them they leave them unlocked. What happens is they then get knocked over and because some people don't use bags not all the food waste gets emptied out which then leaves a mess. I would just try and remember to take your bin in as soon as possible.

PictureALadybird · 10/02/2024 18:27

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Thementalloadisreal · 10/02/2024 18:27

How does it attract rats after it’s been emptied?!

I’d respond by sticking Googly eyes and whiskers on it and leaving it out all week.(now that’s passive aggressive!)

CucumberBagel · 10/02/2024 18:29

Just bring it in! I'm lazy but even I don't leave mine out past bin day.

2dogsandabudgie · 10/02/2024 18:30

Thementalloadisreal - Because not all the waste gets completely emptied out of the bin.

Thementalloadisreal · 10/02/2024 18:31

2dogsandabudgie · 10/02/2024 18:30

Thementalloadisreal - Because not all the waste gets completely emptied out of the bin.

It does if you use the green compostable liners.

2dogsandabudgie · 10/02/2024 18:33

Thementalloadisreal - Yes but not everybody does.

BreakfastAtMimis · 10/02/2024 18:33

It's not exactly difficult to step outside your front door and get the food caddy.

theduchessofspork · 10/02/2024 18:34

They are right, food bins are skanky and stinky

Just stop leaving it out

Don’t be defensive by fussing about the method by which you were told - you weren’t singled out.

I’m absolutely the sort of person who’d forget and get a note, who cares?

MeMyBooksAndMyCats · 10/02/2024 18:34

YABU. It's just lazy not to take it in, you don't go out so what? It takes all of 5 seconds.

LizFromMotherland · 10/02/2024 18:35

I couldn't get fussed about this, they communicated quite well.

Just take it in.

theduchessofspork · 10/02/2024 18:35

Thementalloadisreal · 10/02/2024 18:31

It does if you use the green compostable liners.

They break v easily judging by our (communal building) bin - even if they don’t they still leak fluid which smells

BobbyBiscuits · 10/02/2024 18:40

Ignore them the silly sods. Saying food caddy is an eyesore/ obstruction and attracts rats. Rats can't open plastic boxes can they? I leave my big recycling boxes out all the time (on my own porch, not the street) as they are unsightly and too bulky for inside the house! Haha.
I love the way they signed it "your neighbours' like the whole road were up in arms. Cowards as well not naming themselves. Speak to you if they have a problem surely? Yeah, put 2 caddies out next time!

RogueFemale · 10/02/2024 19:02

theduchessofspork · 10/02/2024 18:34

They are right, food bins are skanky and stinky

Just stop leaving it out

Don’t be defensive by fussing about the method by which you were told - you weren’t singled out.

I’m absolutely the sort of person who’d forget and get a note, who cares?

I totally admit I'm guilty of the crime I'm accused of. I'm asking about the method of accusation.

BTW my food caddy isn't skanky. I use compostable liners.

OP posts:
LizFromMotherland · 10/02/2024 19:04

RogueFemale · 10/02/2024 19:02

I totally admit I'm guilty of the crime I'm accused of. I'm asking about the method of accusation.

BTW my food caddy isn't skanky. I use compostable liners.

So what, it'll still be full of flies come the Spring/Summer.

There was nothing wrong with the letter.

Staygoldponyboystaygold · 10/02/2024 19:09

That message would annoy me. No need for it. It’s a food caddy ffs! I guess if they put it in the group chat they can’t be anonymous, it’s is a cowardly way to go about things.

Cherrysoup · 10/02/2024 19:18

I doubt very much they attract rats when empty, but unless you are physically unable to retrieve it once empty, it is a pita leaving it out. Just get it in! Seriously, you might not leave the house for 2 days? I'd go stir crazy!

RogueFemale · 10/02/2024 19:26

Cherrysoup · 10/02/2024 19:18

I doubt very much they attract rats when empty, but unless you are physically unable to retrieve it once empty, it is a pita leaving it out. Just get it in! Seriously, you might not leave the house for 2 days? I'd go stir crazy!

It hasn't been very tempting to go out in recent freezing, wet months. I stay in when I don't have to go out.

Once again, yes, I know, I'll take the fucking caddy in sooner now.

But the question was about the passive-aggressiveness of the note, not my behaviour, which I admit to.

OP posts:
Comedycook · 10/02/2024 19:29

I wouldn't have sent you a note but I do agree with the neighbour.

LoveAHamSandwhich · 10/02/2024 19:29

RogueFemale · 10/02/2024 19:02

I totally admit I'm guilty of the crime I'm accused of. I'm asking about the method of accusation.

BTW my food caddy isn't skanky. I use compostable liners.

It's not a letter of accusation. It's a letter of fact. And quite a polite one at that.

tuvamoodyson · 10/02/2024 19:32

Ok…the note was PA….now bring your food caddy in.

Homesweethome23 · 10/02/2024 19:34

We have these caddy bins where we are and a few neighbours also do the same and leave them for a few days after they have been collected, which means they end up all over the place. Bin men majority of the time just throw them on the pavement near the edge of the road and recently we have had very strong winds that has blown them everywhere. I had to swerve a few weeks ago driving down the road in the dark as one was in the middle of the road and you couldn’t see it till you were literally on top of it. For safety I would bring it in.

Eightfour · 10/02/2024 19:40

God I can’t stand self appointed neighbourhood patrol types even as someone who brings in their bins on bin day! I once got a shitty anonymous note on my car to say I should park on my drive to free up parking on the road for other road users. I had only parked it on the road for one night as I was expecting an early morning skip delivery. They are always anonymous too - cowards

ludicrouslycapaciousbags · 10/02/2024 19:44

I would leave it out to annoy them Grin

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