To find this passive-aggressive?

[RogueFemale]

Background: all the houses in my neighbourhood put out food waste caddies on a Wednesday for waste collection Thursday mornings. They're the size of a bucket. I am guilty of not always taking mine back inside on Thursdays, especially if I don't go out, & sometimes I don't until the weekend. My only sin - I am otherwise a model of neighbourly virtue :)

There are a handful of other lazy neighbours like me.

Anyway, this Thursday afternoon I received an anonymous note (typed):

Dear Neighbours
We understand it is so much easier to leave your food caddy out all week...
Unfortunately there are issues with this:
They occupy space on our narrow pavement, making it difficult to walk and they are an eyesore too.
But the most concerning issue is that they are a health hazard, they attract rats.
Thank you for being a responsible neighbour, we like our street to look nice and we sure don't want rats around.
All best, Your neighbours

More context: The pavements are also bristling with bicycles chained to the fronts of houses (no front gardens), far bulkier than a bucket, but not "difficult" to walk past (N.B. even without anything on the pavement it's too narrow for a wheelchair because of protuding front steps). The caddies left out are empty, therefore not a rat magnet, - never seen a rat out front.

Yes, I accept that I'm not being the perfect neighbour, but I don't leave it out "all week" and the reasons given are invalid except for the eyesore thing. And I think anonymous passive-aggressive notes are an unpleasant way to try to address it, if a handful of food caddies bother you that much.

There's a very active neighbourhood email group, and this neighbour could have posted a generalised email saying 'please could everyone take in their caddies on Thursdays', explaining why they felt so strongly - and then no doubt all would pitch in agreeing how annoying it was when people didn't. That would've been fine, if they'd revealed their identity, I just find it creepy to send anonymous, passive-aggressive, sarcastic ("so much easier to leave your food caddy out") notes. I know another neighbour who got the same note.

But if your caddy is just outside the door, get it in. Surely.

Ohhh I'm turning in to Carol 🤣

I don't give a shit what you do with it.

True re rats gnawing through plastic. We had some nasty buggers that gnawed through the bottom of the fridge at work to get in!
Clearly they haven't mastered the art opening a fridge door, but I don't think a caddy would pose too much of a problem to the discerning rat.

I’m not sure why people are so up in arms about the note being anonymous. If I had to put a similar note through someone’s door (I never have) I’d leave it anonymous too because firstly it’s irrelevant if the neighbour is guilty and secondly the last thing I’d want is face to face conflict with neighbours. Do people want names so they can confront them?

I leave all my bins out sometimes for days as it’s a trek to get them if it’s raining and luckily they’re not obstructing anything.

Two wrongs don’t make a right.

Call the council and complain about the bikes and plant pots.

Bit surprised you don't bring it in. My area, after collection and not collected and ends up in the road, it will get driven over and not in your interest to keep out for too long. The council in my area will charge for a replacement.

If you don’t have the balls to add your name to a note, don’t criticise your neighbours. Its cowardly.

I don't give a fuck about the bikes and plant pots.

The old 'I know I did wrong but I am justifying it but coming up with things other people do wrong'

You did wrong you know that, other people are also doing wrong but it does not mean you are right

Just bring it when you are meant too it's simpler

It's a sort of cul-de-sac, almost no through traffic. People don't really use the pavement as it's so narrow, and walk on the road as there are so few cars driving through.

Agree, but just pointing out that the caddies are a tiny element of pavement obstruction. And I have already agreed many times that I need to up my taking the caddy in performance. Bicycle pavement obstructions are beyond criticism, of course.

I would rather the neighbours put a note through my door than them phoning the council who will fine you.

In our area we can't put bins out before 6am or still be out after midnight on bin day. What is the bylaw for your area?

Just take your caddy in.

I repeat, I already said I'll play ball (see post 20:36).

Are you my anonymous neighbour?!

No laws that I know of. Been here for six years. No obvious big problem with the caddy bins, active local councillor on the neighbourhood group, many trivial subjects discussed, nothing mentioned in six years. In short, doesn't seem to be a problem for most residents.

By 'play ball' I assume that means you accept that their reasons aren't - as you declared in your op - invalid.

And that you've accepted that you live as part of a community, and self serving decisions taken by one of you can impact others.

Bit odd if you're a local councillor that you were unaware of this, but very happy to have helped broaden your horizons, along with everyone else who told you YABU.

They're unreasonable to leave the note but so are you, it not a big ask to just take it in

I'm not a local councillor. I mean there's an active local councillor on the group email.

But how many times do I have to say, yes, I fucking know I should take in the bin on Thursdays, BUT that doesn't make it ok for the local neighbouring anonymous cunt to send me a creepy passive aggressive note.

Would that include putting your name if they were noisy or aggressive or just for bins? Why does it matter who sent the note?

So if they’d signed it Miss Smith what would you have done?

But if it was brought in then what is the issue, I can't be the only one thinking you have way more issues than the bin or the letter, it may help to deal with those first

No I would contact the relevant authority to report and deal with the anti social behaviour rather than send petty notes to my neighbours. Have you sent any anonymous notes perchance?

To be honest I’m guilty of this occasionally. I’m home late after a long day at work, got my hands full and got to get the dog out of the car too, it’s raining, I need to get in and cook tea etc. last thing I’m worried about is going back outside for the bloody food bin. Some people have too much time on their hands and don’t appreciate the busy lives and mental load of others. Is it really the end of the bloody world??! I’d be annoyed at the cowardly note too. Probably going against the grain here but such is life, we all have our own daily struggles.

Just because the OP is playing ball doesn’t mean the reasons given are valid. That’s a batshit, illogical argument.

If I sent someone a note telling them to bring their bin in because of a spate of local bin abductions by aliens who probe them mercilessly in their flying saucers, and they decide to bring their bin in more promptly in future, just to avoid stupid notes, that doesn’t make my reasoning valid. The reasoning and the outcome are not necessarily linked.

Their reasoning is also crap. But the bin should come in. Mostly for googly eye and whisker maintenance!

Take your bin in. No excuse for it. If everyone acted like you the place would be a tip.