To find this passive-aggressive?

[RogueFemale]

Background: all the houses in my neighbourhood put out food waste caddies on a Wednesday for waste collection Thursday mornings. They're the size of a bucket. I am guilty of not always taking mine back inside on Thursdays, especially if I don't go out, & sometimes I don't until the weekend. My only sin - I am otherwise a model of neighbourly virtue :)

There are a handful of other lazy neighbours like me.

Anyway, this Thursday afternoon I received an anonymous note (typed):

Dear Neighbours
We understand it is so much easier to leave your food caddy out all week...
Unfortunately there are issues with this:
They occupy space on our narrow pavement, making it difficult to walk and they are an eyesore too.
But the most concerning issue is that they are a health hazard, they attract rats.
Thank you for being a responsible neighbour, we like our street to look nice and we sure don't want rats around.
All best, Your neighbours

More context: The pavements are also bristling with bicycles chained to the fronts of houses (no front gardens), far bulkier than a bucket, but not "difficult" to walk past (N.B. even without anything on the pavement it's too narrow for a wheelchair because of protuding front steps). The caddies left out are empty, therefore not a rat magnet, - never seen a rat out front.

Yes, I accept that I'm not being the perfect neighbour, but I don't leave it out "all week" and the reasons given are invalid except for the eyesore thing. And I think anonymous passive-aggressive notes are an unpleasant way to try to address it, if a handful of food caddies bother you that much.

There's a very active neighbourhood email group, and this neighbour could have posted a generalised email saying 'please could everyone take in their caddies on Thursdays', explaining why they felt so strongly - and then no doubt all would pitch in agreeing how annoying it was when people didn't. That would've been fine, if they'd revealed their identity, I just find it creepy to send anonymous, passive-aggressive, sarcastic ("so much easier to leave your food caddy out") notes. I know another neighbour who got the same note.

Judging by your interactions on this thread alone, I can understand why your neighbour didn't want to put their name to the note.

Yes. Agreed. I was about to say the same.

Wow, you sound charming, all the fucking and blinding over this. I can see why they did this anonymously.

take your caddy in, you’re the issue.

LOL. You have obviously never had actual bad neighbours.

Just take the caddy in, it will take a few minutes. Don't dwell on the note.

Update: Another neighbour has told me she got ANOTHER anonymous note two days ago after she had failed to immediately comply with the first note. Said it's really weird and that she doesn't like getting anonymous notes. She did not swear, as she's a lovely girl who sings in a choir, therefore the theories of @Getthethrowonthesofa and @NigellaAwesome about no-wonder-they-did-it-anonymously are bollocks entirely incorrect.

An anonymous note could save the author the risk of retribution if they reveal who they are.

The way society is going, any attempt to increase awareness of being more socially aware by removing one's detritus from littering up the footpath could be met by a knock on the door and a knife being drawn on the person whose only crime was a perfectly reasonable request.

Not suggesting you would, OP, but there are others who react in a more extreme way. So in general there is justification to stay anonymous.

Seriously not that sort of neighbourhood. Exclusively middle-class, educated. Expensive property.

Yea I get really stabby vibes off the OP 😂

Seriously. You can’t improve society by behaving in an underhand and cowardly manner.

Pick your battles, by all means, but anonymous notes will have no effect on someone who would stab you for saying it to them anyway, so if you think it’s worth pulling someone up for something, you’re better off doing it openly.

I'm honestly not trying to be goady, but can't you see the link between the "exclusively middle class and educated" demographic not wanting their neighbourhood to look like a mess.

I was imagining that you had a hundred yard driveway to walk to collect it. If your front door opens onto the street it’s just sheer laziness. If someone tripped on it I presume your insurance covers you.

Yes, and as you can see I complied. But it's not a vicious hedge-control type neighbourhood, it's more relaxed than that. Laziness with bins is really not a massive issue, certainly not a huge mess compared to the number of bikes, it's just about 5-10% of us not bringing them back indoors immediately after emptying day. And elsewhere in the city, most people have wheelie bins which they leave outside the house in their front gardens, a massive massive eyesore. We just don't have them where I live because there literally isn't room for them on the pavement.

What's wrong with that, I was so happy when I moved into a naice neighbour where people actually have some pride and self respect. The vibe in my new neighbourhood was completely different and it's always pleasing to look around. Stop being lazy OP.

It's like the broken window syndrome. If you don't care, then next door see your attitude and can't be bothered and it passes all down street, and whole neighbourhood goes downhill. A neighbour about 6 months ago left their bins (recycle and waste) out. Since then about 30% now leave bins out all week, many with kids open. So rubbish gets blown everywhere. Most houses with bins left out housing association. All private houses (or purchased from local authority) take bins in. I'll put my hard hat on....its just an observation....

How many times do I have to say it? I am guilty, and I'm going to be a good girl from now on. The point of this post is about the neighbour sending anonymous passive-aggressive notes, twice now to another neighbour.

HOW is it passive aggressive?

Something that makes you feel guilty about your actions does not equal passive aggressive.

Starting with the sarcasm in line one "we understand it is so much easier to leave your food caddy out all week".

Ending with "Thank you for being a responsible neighbour", - the fake thanks.

You are lucky they are just asking. My council fines people who leave their bins out.

Lazy behaviour from a couple of people in a community only breeds resentment and results in passive aggressive notes.

so change your behaviour and bring your manky food bin in if you don’t want to be on the receiving end.

the chained up bikes issue is a strawman.

How have you still got your caddy after the episodes of high winds we've had? Our full wheelie bins were blown all over the street.

Just put a reminder in your phone or an Alexa for every Thursday evening. Job done

They blow into the road, for starters...

I've no time for anyone who posts anonymous letters. It's cowardly and unpleasant. So yes, on the neighborhood chat I'd be very tempted to simply ask if anyone else has had one.

But seriously, if your front door opens to the pavement (as my daughter's does) all you have to do is open the door and reach out! Even if it's pissing it down and you're the laziest person in the world, it's a nothing to bring it in. So why did it take you so long?!

I'm just jealous. I have to trek round the house and pull my wheelie bins over gravel. It's grim.

Oops. Missed a page. So someone else has had them. And I was beaten to the 'just outside your front door' thing.

@saraclara "So why did it take you so long?!" It never seemed hugely important. No mention of it on the very active email group, just occasional mentions of a caddy going missing after rubbish collection day and please could anyone let them know if found. I am quite hermit-like and often don't go out for a couple of days. I don't think about the outside world on those days.