How the hell everyone is supposed to cope?

[Oink38]

Having a bad day of mass anxiety.

so, hubby and I earn ok wages. Not huge but we both work for charities so probably earn between 50k between us

childcare is killing us- nearly 1k a month for 3 days a week. We have no family or friends support. Now that the new funding has come in people who aren’t entitled due to being 3 shortly and not getting that funding until September will have to no doubt have their nursery fees raised again.

no pay rises in sight. Meant to be putting into work pension and also saving but honestly where the hell are we supposed to find the money

desperate to move but can’t cos nursery fees are too high.

fed up with this government. Not entitled to any benefits barely surviving month to month. Haven’t had a holiday in 9 years. Drive old car. No fun days out. Barely have anything left to do anything with. Utterly fed up of working for basically shit.

no can’t get other jobs I am specialised in what I do and hubby earns well for the field he is in.

and no we don’t buy take away coffees or avocados

just a massive rant really. Suppose aibu in thinking how the hell people are supposed to survive when everything is going up and no positivity anywhere

They earn too much for that two year funding. You need to be on £16k or less.

We had exactly this situation when both my sons went to nursery, we ended up about 10k in debt trying to pay for nursery abd then having to get a new (old) car. It's rubbish if I didn't work we wouldn't have been much worse off but I wanted to stay in work so as not to have a gap in employment and I was worried I wouldn't find a job when I needed it. There is hope it is easier once the kids are at school as childcare does become cheaper abd it's easier to work ore hours but I hear you it's really shit. I look at all those articles and I am in a pretty much average: family earnings, house, etc, ages we had children yet we've only just started to be able to save any money in the last couple of years my boys have just turned 8 and 11. I've managed to get more hours at work and my husband finally got a payrise. It makes me feel bad for all those worse off, when were a fairly average family and struggling.

@albaalba351

We need more people to have children in the UK

It's oft touted on here, but not factual. Absolutely people should be able to have a child, but "need more people to have children" is a baseless claim.

(I expect there'll be a response about who will pay taxes to fund pensions, but the majority of people are net beneficiaries of the state, not contributors so it's not the average person. Or maybe something about caring for the elderly but the increase in those roles is generally being covered by immigration, not by our children.)

you are your husband are working and have a relatively good salary.

Is 2 x just over minimum wage salaries really "relatively good"?

Again, absolutely 2 people working full time (although OP isn't) should be able to get by, but a lot of people seem to have lost track of inflation and what a 'good' salary is now. It's obviously true that not everyone can earn loads but if we're at the point where just above the absolute minimum is now being perceived as "relatively good" then something is wrong. What we cannot do is let the Tories convince people that their meagre existence is something to be thankful for. They would love that.

@OShoey

I think Rishi Sunak's wife's stake in a childcare firm may point us in the direction. Not so much public service as self service amongst the political class these days

Or an all-you-can-eat buffet of the nation's finances.

I think the inevitable end result of the scandalous cost of childcare is that people will have fewer children, and the indigenous population is already expected to start falling from I think 2025 (10 years earlier than forecast) with all of the economic problems that will bring.

However, I am not sure about subsidies being the answer. I think the real issue is that wages have not kept pace with inflation, and employers will never do the right thing in that regard as long as people are topped up by government.

I am sorry that you are struggling. But ultimately you have chosen low paid professions, one of you works part time, and you are unwilling to look elsewhere or presumably make a case for a salary increase. If you want to improve your financial position you will have to do one of those two things I think, or ride it out until your child is in school.

Personally I think better to have a lower paid job you like than a higher paid one you don't like. Life is too short!

I haven’t had time to read the whole thread so sorry if mentioned already.
if your child turns 3 before 31 March you will get 30 hrs after Easter if they turn 3 after 31 March you will get 15 hours with the new 2 year funding coming in.

I totally agree. It's absolute shit. Everything will be going up again in April. The cost of gas/electricity is adtronomical. We are really struggling now and never did before.

Wow what country is this?

Agree @WithACatLikeTread . I may be thinking off the record a bit here but if you're in a low paid job and lose your job for example (due to redundancy etc. etc.) then surely it's easier to find another low paid job than if you were in a higher paid job. People may not be considered for low paid employment as such if you've predominantly worked in high paid jobs?

Finland

I imagine taxes are quite high though.

@Natsku - same where I live. Overnight nursery is limited, but available in places like hospitals that have own on site nurseries for night (and day) shifts.
Full time nursery here costs €90 a month, and most of that if for lunch costs. That’s for brand new eco building, excellent long-standing staff, all forest and Montessori.
They spend days in woods, Ds has made honey with local beekeeper, they have people like local fire service or police visit with lots of equipment, they bake, amazing gym and full size soft play room. I dropped Ds this morning and the gym has been set up as indoor campsite. It’s covered by the costs of higher taxes for everyone though, 45% is a standard tax for most

This I a very sensible suggestion . If your child loves nursery and companionship then an extra child on one of your days off would save you a third of your nursery fees . And works when they are in school too. I have 3 kids and did this with a friend for after school care and it saved me £&& and the kids are still friends inn their 20s .

The issue is wages haven't kept up with the cost of living, its as simple as that. How are you supposed to cope - people here will tell you to get another job, get a second job, save money on grocery shopping.

But never do they seem to admit we are all being sold down the river on our wages just not being enough to live on

Wow. It simply isn't true to say that when you have kids you have to stay in a job you don't like! What a smug thing to say. There are always ways to make things work, and people do every day. My partner and I enjoy our jobs and we have kids. In fact, I freelance doing a job I love and my partner is in the process of setting up his own business which is a long term dream of his. We have young kids. Apparently we should just give up and go back to the coal face in preparation of forty years of hard graft, depression and sacrifice 🙄 People with kids are still people.

I wouldn't say they're very high, for instance a single person on 70k would pay 26% income tax and 8% pension and unemployment insurance contributions. My low wage of just under 15k pays barely any tax, 1 or 2% (can't remember exactly as it depends on various factors, not just income)

That sounds brilliant @Caspianberg my son's nursery is lovely too though not as fancy sounding as that, but has a gym and a giant indoor slide going from upstairs to the dining room, and the children get taken swimming, ice skating and skiing quite often.

1970:

Average yearly wage: £1,204
Average house price: £4,690
The avg house cost 3.89 x the avg yearly salary.

2019:

Average yearly wage: £26,208
Average house price: £234,853
The avg house costs 8.96 x the avg yearly salary.

This is why ^

the question should be why do we settle for shit wages?

🤦‍♀️ yes the taxes are higher but the social infrastructure is a lot better and the schools… They’re basically better than our private schools but hey let’s keep having sh!tty state schools here that barely have teachers and pay £20k/year on private ones 😃😃😃😃😃you get what you pay for!

Not saying higher taxes is a bad thing and I think we need them but saying it is free isn't true obviously.

I am sure Finland are having to give incentives for people to have children though. Sure I read that somewhere. The free childcare can't be that attractive to them.

I think some of this is to do with the fact that both men and women work now. Instead of it being about giving both sexes the choice to either work or stay at home they’re now both forced to work and do the household and child rearing work too! Which is a reason why house prices have doubled (really they reflect 2 people’s salaries), along with the UK electorate accepting crap standards etc IMO!

And actually that does make sense because if you double 3.89 it’s almost close to the 8.96 figure although 8.96 is still more even then! Honestly the Uk government and those in high positions of power are just trying to see how much they can push the Uk electorate for their own benefit. When you accept and realise this it does surprisingly make life a lot easier!

Surely it must make quite a difference, not having to worry about paying £1500/month per child. I’m certainly out off having children because of the financial impact and the lack of support there is, along with how bad the education system is, you need real money in our society. Also concerning about what our children will inherit… 😬