How the hell everyone is supposed to cope?

[Oink38]

Having a bad day of mass anxiety.

so, hubby and I earn ok wages. Not huge but we both work for charities so probably earn between 50k between us

childcare is killing us- nearly 1k a month for 3 days a week. We have no family or friends support. Now that the new funding has come in people who aren’t entitled due to being 3 shortly and not getting that funding until September will have to no doubt have their nursery fees raised again.

no pay rises in sight. Meant to be putting into work pension and also saving but honestly where the hell are we supposed to find the money

desperate to move but can’t cos nursery fees are too high.

fed up with this government. Not entitled to any benefits barely surviving month to month. Haven’t had a holiday in 9 years. Drive old car. No fun days out. Barely have anything left to do anything with. Utterly fed up of working for basically shit.

no can’t get other jobs I am specialised in what I do and hubby earns well for the field he is in.

and no we don’t buy take away coffees or avocados

just a massive rant really. Suppose aibu in thinking how the hell people are supposed to survive when everything is going up and no positivity anywhere

He works well for the field he is in snd loves his job

only 50k jeez a few years ago that would have been decent wage

i also love my job and don’t want to leave it and I’ve looked at going full time as I only work 25hrs and we’d be worse of cos of nursery fees.

Work weekends instead of typical Monday to Friday type jobs. Jobs that offer flexibility often operate shift patterns.

No, we're not. HTH

@BosworthBosworth absolutely. I can really recommend your "D"H bogging off and leaving you with a mortgage and 2 kids. It's a hoot. So much more fun than a big salary and a partner to tag team with.

Thanks for all the comments. I really don’t want to change my job. I’ve worked there 20yrs and worked my way up to a senior position. My job is flexible I can wfh and they’ve been great when I’ve had some personal issues it’s just charity work doesn’t pay. There isn’t an alternative in the private sector. I’ve been looking

Totally agree with you, and I’m so sick of seeing the richest get richer while those who are on lower wages struggle more and more. The divide is getting so big, and that’s what I think needs to change - there’s no shortage of money, it’s just not fairly distributed. I really think that a couple on minimum wage should be able to comfortably afford their bills, own a house, and have a bit left over for some treats. Otherwise where’s the incentive to work? It’s all very well people saying ‘get a better paid job’, but someone has to do the low-paid jobs and in sectors like care it’s good to have experienced staff who are committed to their career rather than a constant stream of temporary workers. I’m on similar pay to you, I love my job (in the arts) and it’s what I went to university to train to do, so I don’t want to leave it to become a sales consultant or work in pharmaceuticals or whatever - if everyone did that, what a joyless world we’d have. I work so hard though and get so little in return, it’s demoralising to not feel valued. Life just a few years ago felt so much easier.

We managed on £50k combined due to having a £750pm mortgage payment, and only having 1 child so 2 years full nursery fees. I would have given up work for a while if we had 2 (me, rather than DH, because I got made redundant at the start of the pandemic anyway).

Thank you! Yes 100%! I remember ten years ago being able to live alone, drive, go out most weekends and smoke (quit now and deeply regret starting!) and I was earning £18k. The world had gone crazy.

my job is important and helps thousands of people a year but yes the pay isn’t the best but job satisfaction is so important

Is it cheaper for you to not work?

Oh shut up!

Haha yes I best put him back in then hadn’t I 🙄 jeez your attitude absolutely stinks. Let’s just abort every child cos people are struggling!

Unfortunately not. I looked into it. But I love my job and my child thrives in nursery.

If you work from home why do you need childcare?

I was just messing about with the entitled to calculator. Obviously I had to it as an example.

I probably have the working hours wrong. But anyway you said 50k between you I put that you were working 40 hrs each . And that you got 25k each . I know this is probably wrong but it still =earning 50k a year . You said child care is 1000 a month so I did 500 per child a month? I put that you lived In Norwich 800 a month mortgage.

As I said this is an example . But I done it based on earnings best I could . It says you won't get help with housing cost/mortgage. It said you can get child benefit which I guess you already claim. It does say you could get UC of 78.00 or 87.00 a week . Sorry I forgot the figure . It was around that much anyway.

I know this is not totally right. I done it based of earnings and childcare cost .

Maybe have another look on entitled to calculator worth another try

Because I can’t do my job and look after a toddler…

I’m not saying children should be aborted. I’m saying you should have looked into the cost of childcare before falling pregnant. That is an entirely reasonable and sensible thing to do when you are a prospective parent.

Yeah I just saw you'd been there 20 years and worked your way up and thought "It'd be a bitter route to give that up tbh"

And if your child is loving nursery then it's a double whammy to lose that and the social education it brings. It really is a case of making it through the next couple of years - I hear you though so rant away. :)

Thank you for doing that it’s very kind.

we have one child I work 25hrs and hubby 35. But I have done lots of calculators and spoken to a few helplines and we aren’t entitled just borderline!

Most people can't do their job and care for a toddler. What a ridiculous comment!

or her dh not to work?

Long term it’s unlikely.

people always look at the short term- “my wage doesn’t cover childcare” but don’t factor in the loss of pensions, the effect of stepping off the employment ladder- it can be very hard to get a job when you’ve been out of work for several years, and even harder to rejoin at the level you were. You become deskilled and out of date.

one thing that never seems to occur to people is instead of one suffering the effects of being completely out of work, why not both reduce hours? Then both stay in the working world, can up hours later on, keep their pensions going etc.

I really feel for you OP, our annual income is quite a bit higher than yours and yet the monthly £1k nursery bills (for 3 days a week) were only manageable because our mortgage is low (very modest house in average area and mortgage still fixed at a low rate) and we only have one child. For those on lower incomes/multiple children of nursery age/higher outgoings it's just an impossible situation. Most of our social group are pretty well paid and yet struggle with the nursery bills (a lot have mortgages that have increased dramatically). I am also friends with a single mum - she pays very little for childcare as universal credit covers the majority of the cost.

As per previous PPs I think you do need to consider if you and your partner want better paid careers or not. It's something me and my partner have changed our views on over the years - in my 20s I was idealistic thinking a job I loved was more important than pay. Now in my 40s the difference in lifestyle and opportunities that a higher paid job offers is worth a lot to me.

Do you not see a problem with how the country is run if only the very richest can afford to have children? The OP has one child. ONE. She is not the sort of person who lives in a 1 bed flat churning out child after child and complaining. If someone on a reasonable joint income such as hers cannot afford ONE child, then where is this country headed?

right, I won’t go into my back story but our child was a suprise as we were told it wouldn’t happen for us. So basically didn’t think it would happen and had made peace with it. Then boom it did. So are you suggesting I should have had an abortion as I couldn’t plan out expenses properly based on a suprise or the fact covid happened and brexit happens and the tories are shit? So your logic is everyone who accidentally gets pregnant shouldn’t go through with it? Excellent.

I know it's shit , but if you only work 25 hours can you do something else while your husband is off to have the kids ? Agree you shouldn't have to.