How the hell everyone is supposed to cope?

[Oink38]

Having a bad day of mass anxiety.

so, hubby and I earn ok wages. Not huge but we both work for charities so probably earn between 50k between us

childcare is killing us- nearly 1k a month for 3 days a week. We have no family or friends support. Now that the new funding has come in people who aren’t entitled due to being 3 shortly and not getting that funding until September will have to no doubt have their nursery fees raised again.

no pay rises in sight. Meant to be putting into work pension and also saving but honestly where the hell are we supposed to find the money

desperate to move but can’t cos nursery fees are too high.

fed up with this government. Not entitled to any benefits barely surviving month to month. Haven’t had a holiday in 9 years. Drive old car. No fun days out. Barely have anything left to do anything with. Utterly fed up of working for basically shit.

no can’t get other jobs I am specialised in what I do and hubby earns well for the field he is in.

and no we don’t buy take away coffees or avocados

just a massive rant really. Suppose aibu in thinking how the hell people are supposed to survive when everything is going up and no positivity anywhere

Thank you! Holidays and nice cars expensive bags and clothes are luxury looking after your child in their younger years is not when the money doesn’t work!

Thanks to this thread though I’ve found out we can get 15hrs free childcare and we already use tax free childcare.

Thank you xx

This.

My household earnings will increase when I go back to work full time next year where I earn more than the national average when I’m full time.

again this was supposed to be a rant about cost of living and how everything has gone insane instead it’s a bitter attack on my profession, my choice to have children and my apparent laziness.

I guess it is cheap when you earn £250 an hour, not so cheap when you are on minimum wage though 🤷‍♀️

@Oink38 will you not qualify for 15 hours tto from april? I'm assuming your DC is 2 years old

I agree @Oink38 . You can't put a price tag on your own mental health and wellbeing nor can you pour from an empty cup. There has to be some balance. I get you're happy in your work, you mentioned the wages and it's a struggle being able to afford everything and that is all it really is isn't it. We shouldn't have to work in high pressurised jobs (unless you're lucky to be a high earner who doesn't have to actually do much!). It's not a one size fits all. It will get better but in the meantime enjoy being you and the time with your DC x

I don't know. The most our combined income has been is around 33k, then COVID DH was made redundant and it's currently more like 24k. £1,000/mth for childcare was never a realistic option for us, and the "15 free hours" was actually 12.5 (2.5hrs/day) in a council run nursery. My parents looked after DS.

I’m very sorry op. It sounds hard.
I can only suggest you everyone writes to their MP and insists childcare is subsidised. I work in Belgium. Taxes are a bitch but quality of life is so much better. There is no way my daughter could have the same quality of everything - education, extra curricular. When my daughter had an accident (all ok) a motorbike paramedic was parking as I put the phone down and ambulance just arriving. I’ve been in hospital a few times - 2 to a room max. We all have means tested medical insurance. You pay as you go for medical care and receive a percentage back. I have private insurance through work and really don’t see the difference, apart from price. No problems ever seeing a dentist. I think I would be rioting if still in the uk. One of my cousins is deep in it up North working with little kids and the stories she shares are unbelievable. She’s constantly raging. Has been consulted by the govt a few times.
Screw the Tories. More concerned about boats and the rich than their citizens.

Oh @Oink38 I was also one who had to chose a low earning job (still do) to fit in with school hours as I have no nearby family. I also chose to work in a NMW job but it allowed me flexibility in school holidays, days off etc. I chose this because my employer was amazing and allowed me to work flexibly around my DC those years ago (when flexibility wasn't so common) because to me having a child meant I wanted to spend time with them. We all make choices so don't let anyone tell you you should be doing more. You're doing enough, your statements are just a fact of life as to how the COL etc is now x

I work in social housing and I don’t know anyone on universal credit who is ‘doing ok’ .. it’s a nightmare across the piece. Denigrating those on benefits and, by definition the poorest in society, isn’t a good look..

Really agree. I think the constant bickering amongst themselves is symptomatic of the fact they are a mean party. They’ve got nothing to feel good about.

And I really don’t understand why a grip on renting can’t be got fast. Buying to rent needs to be way more tightly regulated, protecting the renter.

I don't think you're being in any way unreasonable. It's terrible that a working couple with kids can't afford to live decently. It's terrible thay anyone is struggling when you think how wealthy we are as a nation.

For me it shows a real decline in politics and political engagement. You and your husband should be exactly who Conservatives are trying to court a vote off, but successive governments have pushed what they think people will take without resistance and have been proved right and just keep pushing. I do wonder where it has to get to before something changes. So many on here saying it's not for long, but I don't think that's good enough. If the government wants us all to work in order to be able to afford a mortgage and all the bills then they have to provide subsidised childcare options to make that possible. They are removing the incentive for us to be good, law abiding, tax paying citizens. And the farce of the hours for 2 year olds just doesn't cut it.

On a personal level, I hope things get better for you. On a national level I hope we all vote for something better come the GE (if there's anything better on offer!)

Thank you. I’m praying people vote this lot out when the time comes. I 100% will never vote for the conservatives. Unfortunately around our way it is very Tory and the attitude of people is as well. I often meet MP’s through my work and my word some just have zero idea about the real world

I'm sorry you're struggling.

I really think you should speak to someone about your CV. A senior role will have loads of transferable skills and frankly, you're doing yourself a disservice.

My DC are all grown up now but I remember the ‘nursery’ days well and yes, it was bloody hard. It has always has been. Me not working was never an option. Forgetting to sign cheques etc, to give us a little longer until next month’s salary hit the bank, increasing overdraft, getting yet another loan, holiday was camping in UK etc but as this poster says, they won’t be for ever. If you can just muddle through, it does get better when they start school.

@Oink38

"why can’t someone stay in a job they love?"

Because it doesn't pay enough?

It's like saying, "why can't I only eat cake and not get fat?"

100%. my DS is younger than yours and we get 15 hours from April.

but honestly OP you are very naive about your jobs. Earning around 25k (more or less I assume from your combined income) is nor a senior role in a charity. Look at recruitment websites for The sector, managers in charities are oaid 40k plus. I assume you have been underpaid as you like the org and cause but you and/or your DH need ro improve your job situation if you want things to change.

Log into your taxfree childcare account and apply now. It’s literally two clicks!!

I think when this idea gets suggested in society there seems to be a general outrage from the electorate etc I’m not quite sure what people actually want really or expect, the Tory way is very much about business and profit and not about making sure everyone benefits from that… No point having tax cuts when you can’t comfortably afford private school etc Honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if people still end up voting Tory 🤷🏻‍♀️

I earn that working part time- full time is above the national average and as said above I’ll be going full time next year. My post was to just rant about the constant onslaught of everything going up with cost of living and it never seems to end

I was coming to suggest you are actually entitled to free hours, but you already found that out.
Childcare is very cheap in most European countries. The fees here are outrageous. Why can't we be like Spain, France, Italy, Germany....
We can complain and we can vote.

I think Rishi Sunak's wife's stake in a childcare firm may point us in the direction. Not so much public service as self service amongst the political class these days.

Nursery fees are awful but I don’t know why people keep saying it gets better when they start school. It certainly didn’t for us. It got much worse, unsustainable in fact.

Ruined my career. Not to be depressing but you definitely need to consider what you’re doing for school hours sooner rather than later because it’s creeps up on you soon enough. Pt childcare is an absolute nightmare in some areas!

We need more people to have children in the UK, you are your husband are working and have a relatively good salary. I'm so sorry you are being lambasted and going through such an awful time on this thread. Please know that lots of people are fed up of the injustice of it all - it's not a right and fair system. You shouldn't be struggling so much to pay for childcare. I'm also very sorry that so many people are so blasé about the preciousness of life and would have the audacity to tell women to abort babies/ not have children because of this broken system. Despite what people say you are a hard-working women who deserves to have a family. You are not lazy and you are doing all you can in this awful situation.