Inheritance -Family money?

[ZekeZeke]

Example:
Married 25 years, no mortgage both work.
2 adult children in University still living at home.(both working part time).
Widowed MIL dies. DH inherits £200,000
Is this family pot money?
DH Money?
DH and DW money?
DH ans DC money?

Completely shared finances here. Family money, but I wouldn’t dip
into it without a prior discussion.

Are you going to refuse your share then?

When my FIL died my DH opened an account in his name only for the inheritance, not something I even questioned.

It did all go towards buying a house when we moved a few years later which is in both our names.

If it's completely his money, paying off the mortgage shouldn't benefit the wife. She should now pay a bigger chunk of remaining bills.

So if original bills were £2,000 pm including £1,000 mortgage, the wife should continue to pay £1,000 while the husband pays nothing. It's his inheritance after all.

You're assuming there'll be a "my" share. Given that their every action for the last quarter century has been to ensure not a penny reaches my generation, I'm not making that assumption.
However, in the event that I'm left anything (and survive them), I'd plan to make sure my children have enough for a deposit for a property, then see that what's left is split fairly between all surviving family members and leaning towards more given to the younger family members who need it more. Which is what my grandparent, who was not contemptibly selfish, would have wanted - it's unearned family money.

I think it should be family money, but perhaps with some locked away just for the blood-related grandchildren....

Personally, I don't think step-children from future marriages should be entitled to anything from grandparents of the previous wife's/husband's side.

Not if you've already agreed that bills are shared 50/50. You can't pay half of the mortgage if the DH decides to use his money to pay off the mortgage.

Other bills would be shared 50/50 as normal. Or maybe he doesn't decide to pay off the mortgage, totally up to him.

DH's money although I would expect to have input/influence/discussion over what he does with it with the expectation that it would benefit the household in some way.

We're in our 50's and have both received unexpected legacies for the first time last year. DH received £60K from his great aunt and a few months later, I received £80K.

Our mortgage has been paid off for a few years so we have literally maxed out our pension contributions and ISA allowances. The excess has gone into VCT's and the DCs' SIPPS I admit to having campervan envy when I poked around a friend's Adria twin but not £90K envy!

Joint. That’s the whole point of marriage.

It's your husband's inheritance and he should be able to choose whether to spend it or save it - but if he were mine, I would think badly of him if he chose to spend selfishly.

The ideal thing is to put some aside for the kids perhaps in a trust fund, invest some elsewhere for himself, and maybe have a nice holiday or something.

Joint but have been married forever and have always shared everything,

The money belongs to the person named in the will, so presumably the husband, in this instance.
My husband inherited a very substantial amount from his mother some years ago. I don't know exactly how much or how it was spent (other than, very loosely, invested). Thus was because, although I got on well with my MIL, it was not my money. If she had wanted me to have something, she would have put me in the will. It's really not rocket science. I may well benefit indirectly from this legacy in some ways, but, ultimately, it is none of my business.

Exactly 👏👏👏

Totally up to him? I don't buy that for a second. If he blew the lot on cars, holidays, trainers, you'd be fine with it because it's "his money"? Bollocks would you. Even if it is "his money", I'm not sure why anyone would tolerate such reckless selfish behavior from their spouse.

Agree.

If my DH inherits money then it is up to him how he uses it. The money is being left to him, not me. Same as if I inherit, it will be up to me to decide how the money is spent. I would hope (if a substantial sum) we would both make sensible decisions with long-term benefit, for example use it towards debt or to paying off the mortgage but ultimately it is gifted to him, not me. If he gets money from family for his birthday, I don’t expect this to be shared with me so why would I expect a gift in a Will to be shared with me?

We have separate finances. Why would any inheritance change that?

Other than our agreed shared bills, his money is his to do what he pleases with, as is mine. Be it salary or inheritance.

It's up to DH, however if he decided to keep it all to himself I would be taking a look at my marriage!!

100%. He'd be on his way out the door if he thought he'd be doing that to me lol.

Because people see finances differently. Separate finances means exactly that, each person has discretion over their own money.

You'd happily stay married to a man driving around in a lambo when he could have paid the mortgage off to the benefit of the whole family? Presumably you're comfortable saying that because you know your DH isn't so reckless, otherwise what kind of partner or father is that?

Totally up to him? I don't buy that for a second. If he blew the lot on cars, holidays, trainers, you'd be fine with it because it's "his money"? Bollocks would you. Even if it is "his money", I'm not sure why anyone would tolerate such reckless selfish behavior from their spouse

I actually think this is really sad - I can’t imagine spending my parents or grandparents hard earned cash on throw away crap - I received £1,000 from a relative - it’s in the bank and it will stay there.

Im likely to get a big inheritance that will also go in my bank account - I am not rushing to spend anyone’s hard earned money now or in the future.

I hear you xx

In my marriage we would class it as family money, we would discuss what to do with it together.
Welfare all finances.

In reality, my DH would likely do a mixture of both so he might pay the mortgage off and get something fancy for himself, though probably not a new car.

I just wouldn't feel entitled to any say because I wouldn't consider it my money and that would be the case even if he spent it all on a lambo.

Married 15 years here. I inherited just under 100k money. I see it as family money, but probably have taken the lead on some use of the money (so I bought a beautiful piece of furniture as I wanted something to remind me of the deceased). I’ve been able to start a course I wanted to study (I discussed with DH before) - but possibly would not have done that if he had inherited money.

How else does it work unless family money? Surely it’s all part of the good times and bad times?

Why should an inheritance be ring fenced over say a bonus at work, redundancy payment or alternatively a period of ill health. If I don’t see this as family money, where do you draw the line, for example should I get ill in a few years why should my DH help me (in terms of possibly say reducing lifestyle/releasing equity from an asset) given I used the inheritance just for me.