Inheritance -Family money?

[ZekeZeke]

Example:
Married 25 years, no mortgage both work.
2 adult children in University still living at home.(both working part time).
Widowed MIL dies. DH inherits £200,000
Is this family pot money?
DH Money?
DH and DW money?
DH ans DC money?

I wouldn't feel entitled to any of the money just because I'm his wife.

Paying off the mortgage would benefit me and if he wanted to blow the rest on cars and holidays, it would be his choice.

Because it would be his money, not mine.

No.

it’s not “family money”. What does that term even mean anyway? Basically it means money for the kids.

not every single penny has to be family money aka money for the kids.

For me it’s family money. Because we are a family unit and any inheritance is going to be used to benefit the family.

I think this answer would involve relationship context. So I would think of it as primarily DHs BUT we share money - so I would expect without much thought that this money would be spent almost totally on joint purchases/ house/ pension - just things for whole family. In reality he would also never buy himself stuff without giving the same to me.

Anyone who can be married that long and 'take' the money is odd imo

I had an inheritance and see it as family money, but I've also kept control of it because I feel a sense of responsibility to use it wisely. I passed a significant amount straight on to our youngish adult children. I replaced the family car, paid off a credit card debt of DH's (from starting his own business) and made a few purchases that would improve our quality of life. I've put the rest in high interest accounts for when we update our house in a few years' time. In the meantime, the interest is paying for an annual holiday and means we can have better quality clothes etc (not designer, just good quality, which means I'm probably buying a lot less). Having the safety net, a more reliable car and appliances, and ringfenced money for holidays and special occasions has made a difference for the whole family.

Although DH isn't useless with money or a spendthrift, I feel happier dealing with it this way because it wasn't a huge inheritance and could easily just disappear gradually over a few years if it was all in the one pot. If he inherits money I'd be happy for him to do the same, although we'd need to discuss what money gets used for what purpose.

I see it as the inheritees money, but would think poorly of someone who didn’t invest it in things to benefit the family if it they were in a stable long-term relationship (regardless of what the law says on joint assets)

DH has inherited decent amounts off both his parents (divorced). Both times I’ve let him call the shots, but both times he’s invested it in our property, once to move to somewhere bigger and the next time to pay down the mortgage, plus money into DS savings.

He still has a decent chunk left but I know he’s earmarking that for an expensive renovation job we have. He’s treated himself to some things he’s fancied, but nothing over £500.

I’ve had £10k recently off a grandparent which went half into home improvement and the rest paid off a car loan. I still have both my parents and earn twice as much as him, so I’m contributing on a monthly basis for now. Plus I have a decent public sector pension, so he knows he needs to hang on to me to live the high life in our retirement 🤣

Going through a divorce. The judge said I could keep mine and not share.
My H has been totally awful throughout our long marriage.
If his behaviour towards me had been better I’d have agreed to share it.

I inherited 700K 5 years ago. It was our family money but I'm happily married and my husband has supported me for years where I've not fancied working full time! So worked for us

We bought a new house and invested the rest

Family money ....

About 25 years ago my last surviving grandparent died leaving what in today's terms would be close to a million after estate tax. My already wealthy parent and their sibling split it down the middle on the basis of a will made over 20 years earlier when some younger family members were still young children. Parent and their sibling bought (outright) several rental properties to add to the several they already owned (outright) and didn't give anyone else a penny.
Now, in their 80's, they have suddenly realised they can't take it with them, and are shovelling money into trusts for the grandchildren because the thought of the tax man getting their hands on some of their money is anathema to them.
Disgusting people who I am ashamed to be related to.

Any money that one of us earns or is gifted or is inherited is family money in our house. We are a single unit. One person doesn’t “decide” what to do - if a large lump sum is received or a large sum is to be spent, it’s a joint decision. The idea of one person buying themself a car or a holiday or just pocketing a huge amount of money without consulting their life partner is a mind blowing concept in our family. Every penny I earn or receive is to make my family’s life better. My DH feels exactly the same. Thank God.

I won’t inherit that much, but I intend to give it to my DC to use towards flat deposits. We live in London so property pretty much out of reach. They won’t inherit from the other side of the family as MIL has taken out loans which are worth more than the property.

I think generally it should go where it’s most needed. To pay off mortgage, car, debts. Towards pension maybe for either of you.

I'd say it's primarily the person who inherited's money but, as PPs have said, any DP worth their salt is going to share to some extent. I would imagine DH and I would share the bulk but use it for house projects/moving and then allocate a "splurge" amount to whom ever had inherited

I’ve just inherited a bit - not as much as that. Most is going on family things, the house, some on holidays, some tucked away. I’ve spent more on myself than I have in years and I feel great. I’ve just hit the John Lewis sale. But DH and I discussed what would be done with it. Would rather have my dad but I know he’d be pleased.

DH inherited family company so we all benefited. The cash, shares etc remained in his account but over the years has been useful at times for the home.

It would be family money in our household but the person who inherited should get the main say in how it's spent.

We both had unexpected lump sums from inheritance and coincidentally each the same amount, we each put ours into the mortgage.

If it were us, it would be family money but it would be in my individual savings account. So it wouldn't get spent without my say so

We'd both agree that it would be family money. All our money is joint. DH would always be sensible and want to put it towards the mortgage or both our pensions. I'd want to invest it to build up a bigger pot to benefit the dcs later in life, or renovate our property to add value. But always something that ultimately we'd all benefit from.

We share everything.

Exactly this. I’ve inherited twice in recent years and it’s never occurred to me that it’s “my” money. We’re a team. And I wouldn’t want to benefit and have nice things while my family doesn’t.

I agree. I find the whole concept of “family money” ridiculous. When I inherited I paid our mortgage off, gave my son a substantial sum for a house purchase and invested the rest. There was no question of it being anyone’s money but mine.

When the Probabte is granted, I will be inheriting 90k after my fathers death.

Its money for my family. It’s a life changing amount for us. Dh and I will be able to move buy a house in a nicer area, which benefits the children.

Its money for my family, which is what my father wanted.

In this family after 25 years of marriage and two children, DH and I would discuss how best to invest it, and in whose names.

I'd love to be able to set aside a portion for a house deposit for each children - as would he - but not at the cost of making ourselves a financial burden to our kids in our old age.

It should be considered as a family morally, I think.
If DH an I inherit anything, there’s no question it goes to joint savings and we decide what to do.
With the inheritor primary deciding, as is the right thing to do.

However, legally I believe it is not classed as a marital asset. It can be considered under total assets if there is a large imbalance between the two parties in terms of housing needs etc.
But generally no, it’s the property of the person inheriting. In England and Wales at least, is my understanding

Family money without question. We would pay off the mortgage first, then look at finishing off the house, and topping up savings and pensions.

I would expect either of us to have fun money from it unless we both did. But we are mostly likely to have a family holiday as the fun thing.