Inheritance -Family money?

[ZekeZeke]

Example:
Married 25 years, no mortgage both work.
2 adult children in University still living at home.(both working part time).
Widowed MIL dies. DH inherits £200,000
Is this family pot money?
DH Money?
DH and DW money?
DH ans DC money?

Dh money if you were planning to divorce. Family money if not.

I inherited about 70K pounds several years ago from my dad’s estate when still married to my ex. At the time, it went on our joint mortgage. It never occurred to me to keep it just for myself! My ex took charge of it all, even telephoning my step mother to ask when we would be getting the inheritance payout! I cringe at how passive I was back then.
I probably still would put most of it on the mortgage today but would have used some of it to go back home to the UK more often for holidays.

I would be annoyed with a partner who got themselves a boat or a luxury car if we were both struggling to pay a joint mortgage. At the minimum they could park it in a mortgage offset account to give us relief and then they could use it later.

And yet the law disagrees that your money is your own…

No it doesn’t. As long as it’s never been amalgamated into joint assets, eg used to pay a joint mortgage or a joint savings account, an inheritance is usually disregarded in a divorce settlement.

Inheritance money? The law actually says that it isn't a joint asset as long as it isn't used to pay for a joint mortgage etc.

Money that we earn? In divorce, it would be split but marriage and divorce are two different things. Otherwise, it would be required for married couples to have a joint account but thankfully it isn't.

My money goes into my own personal account in my name only which DH doesn't have access to because it is indeed my own money.

if it was willed to DH is belongs to him.

If you share finances in theory you would share it, but he doesn't have to share it with you

Given its his money in his name (assume it's not put in a joint account) he can then leave it to whoever he wants to in his will, so it could, in theory never become the wifes, if that is DH wish.

hopefully in a happy respectful marriage it will be shared with the wife and used for the family, in a mutually agreeable way, but it doesn't have to happen....
However if DH was keeping it all and willing it away from his wife then that may prompt wife to divorce DH and claim half......

Joint. No question in our house and I say that as someone who will inherit a few million one day rather than DH's few hundred thousand.

We've shared everything since we got married and works really well for us.

All money is family money (meaning husband and wife decide together how to spend it for the good of the family.)

I meant earned marital assets, you don’t get to have ‘your’ money. Seems odd when people insist on separate assets.

indeed, unintegrated inheritances are possible to keep separate, but not guaranteed.

We've had 3 large inheritances, two from his side. All have been treated as family money and over the years have helped out with the following
Wonderful holidays (always with a glass raised on the first night)
Mortgage paid off
Nearly new cars
Loan paid off
Business start-up
A year off for me funded when the youngest went to school and I wasn't sure what to do with my life.

I'm with the camp that doesn't understand how this is anything other than joint money for the couple. I don't understand the concept that it's his or hers depending on which relative has died, it goes into the family pot, with a certain amount set aside for the one who has lost the relative to be able to buy something 'nice' to remember them by- jewellery, watch or whatever. To have a husband or wife keep it as their money, I see as pretty shitty

DH’s mother has nothing and will leave nothing.

My parents have a large country estate and good pensions. They will leave myself and my sister an inheritance.

Despite my husband not having an inheritance, I would of course see mine as ours.

I came into my marriage with a nice inheritance in the pot and it was immediately shared with my DH in the form of 50/50 tenants in common ownership of our new home together.
I know he felt a bit funny about this but I explained that I wanted the money to benefit both of us and if I had wanted to keep it to myself I wouldn't have married him.
When it comes to deciding what to do with the money I do think some sway has to be given to the inheritor as they are the one who lost someone but ultimately if DH came into serious money and it didn't in some way benefit me and DC, I'd want out of the marriage as it would clearly show how little he thought of us and our family.

Separate finances works very well for us. Though it obviously isn't for everyone.

Reality is I’d probably use it to benefit the family but might treat myself too. Maybe a nice family holiday and a newer car.

so far I’ve inherited some and dh hasn’t inherited anything. I bought a laptop that was unnecessarily expensive, conservatory on our last house, family car and a bit added to house deposit in last move.

dh definitely saw it as my money but I know he was appreciative how I spent it. We’ve been married 20 years this summer and I genuinely believe we’ll grow old together. Even if something happened to change it, I don’t begrudge the inheritance. Every relationship is different though.

I agree. Whats the point of hoarding it when you can help younger generations.

Legally, in many ways, that's exactly what it does. Hence the tax breaks.

A friend of DH his wife inherited a lot of money it all went on her hobbies because she said it was her money. Years later he's soon to come into a massive inheritance guess what he's off to New Zealand to live near DC and family.

In our house everything is joint - income, savings, investments and inheritances. We’re married - a couple so can’t imagine one of us having an inheritance and it not being 100% for the family.,

My DW inherited a similar sum. She saw it as family money. Mortgage paid off, new family car, a family holiday to Florida, and the remainder has been invested. If I receive an inheritance, then it will also become family money (probably will pass it on to our DC).

“Family money” means it is the pot of money that both DH and I contribute to (him way more than me) and is spent by both of us (usually me way more than him). It does not mean “for the kids” - although our (now adult) DCs have benefitted from our comfortable home, nice holidays etc.

If your grandparent left a will naming their two children as beneficiaries (perfectly normal), then it's their money. You have no entitlement to it. Also, it's pretty strange that you're angry about the idea of receiving an inheritance yourself from your parent. Maybe suggest they leave it to charity instead?

I thought it was a bit more complex than that - although not a lawyer! Was looking online at advice like this.

"Assets can change from non-matrimonial to matrimonial. If you received an inheritance during your marriage, the court will look to see how that was used before deciding how it should be dealt with. For example, if it was money held in a joint account that the whole family benefited from, the court may decide it has become joint property and should be available for dividing between you and your ex."

That’s my understanding too @laclochette. It’s the reason the money I inherited has always been exclusively in my name apart from paying off the mortgage.