Inheritance -Family money?

[ZekeZeke]

Example:
Married 25 years, no mortgage both work.
2 adult children in University still living at home.(both working part time).
Widowed MIL dies. DH inherits £200,000
Is this family pot money?
DH Money?
DH and DW money?
DH ans DC money?

Actually thinking about it, I think it's important to consider how long you've been married, the ages of the children, your own pension provision etc, before sharing an inheritance. It's fine for me to say everything is shared, because I'm old, kids are grown up and I'm living off my pension now and have been married for 40 years. But if I wasn't at this stage in life maybe I would have ring fenced some of my inheritance

All depends on how finances have been shared up to this point. Me and DH have shared accounts. What's mine is his and vice versa. Both of our inheritance if/when we get them, will go into the joint accounts and will be our families money. We will both benefit and so will our children.
If you've only ever had separate finances, I would expect that will continue, but you and your DCs will benefit in some way.

DH & I have never shared inheritance.

You've been married so long I'd say it's family money,

I would use it as family money and I'd happily do things that benefited everyone eg an extension or paying down a mortgage. But I wouldn't keep it in a joint account if I didn't spend it all. Reason being that (I believe) this puts it into play as assets that could be claimed in a divorce. If I inherited a lot of money and then got divorced I really wouldn't want my ex spouse getting a chunk of the cash.

Legally it’s dhs money.
However as your married it’s only reasonable that it would be both of yours.
We dont define his and mine only ours in our family, everything is shared.

It's already in play if you have moved it, accessed it or spent it in the course of the marriage, joint accounts or not.

Definitely family money. And this isn't me eyeing up DH's inheritance; I am an only child and there's a high chance it will come up eventually. However: DH and I are very much on the same page when it comes to spending, and neither of us would be inclined to immediately piss it all away on motorbikes or a hot tub. Any major purchases would be discussed first.

Also yes to putting part of it away for DS. In fact, I believe DH's parents have made an account for DS so that he will inherit directly some amount of money.

In my household that would be family money. If DH or I were suddenly to inherit a large sum like that we'd pay off our credit cards, DH would get a new car (I have a company car so no need for me), we'd take the kids to Orlando and put the rest into savings/investments and put decent sums into the kids savings. Unfortunately £200k wouldn't pay off the mortgage but if we were debt free we could overpay the mortgage or maybe pay a chunk off when we remortgage, not sure really. Would probably seek financial advice on that but it would most certainly be family money and we'd all get some personal treats from it. DH likes buying guitars, I like luxury bags etc.

We’re sort of in this situation.

Married over 30 years and from the beginning every penny has been shared. When we first married DH earned twice as much as me. He now earns minimum wage and I earn £120k+. But still every penny is shared. It’s not my money (or his) it’s our money.

His parents died 8 years ago and he inherited £27k, which we refer to as his money(even though I can access it if I wanted to) However, he uses that money to make contributions to our life. He’s paid for some big holidays and used it to buy me an omega watch for my big birthday. He’s got £13k left. It’s looking like he’s going to have to give up work due to ill health so he’s said that £13k will be our holiday fund for the next few works till I retire.

I’m about to inherit £100k+ and he’s made it very clear that’s my money to decide what to do with. I’ve decided to put £35k away for each of our grown up children which they know they’ll get to use as a deposit when they finally decide to buy a house.

I’ve not decided what to do with my £35k. I’ll prob do an amazing “girls” holiday with a friend to places he would hate to go to. Then have an amazing holiday with him. And then spend the rest updating our house so that when I retire we can sell and downsize.

It is DH’s money.

However, when anyone gets a substantial chunk of money, it seems to me that their first thought ought to be about how the whole family can have a better life. In the OP example, I would suggest that DC could be helped to get on the property ladder with deposits, and that a good chunk would go to a pension pot, with perhaps, a special holiday for DH and DW, and/or work on their house,

When either or both spouses work, their employers don't insist on paying their salaries into a joint bank account though.

Whether married, or civilly partnered, each spouse does remain an individual, and legally inheritance is considered as belonging to the person to whom it was left. It might be considered as marital property in a divorce settlement, but only in certain circumstances.

I think for me as part of a couple who have been married a long time, with children, the reality is that it's a bit of an academic question. Because, in reality, neither of us have anything that we would spend a large sum of money on that isn't fundamentally a family expense.

Our big expenses are our house, our children and holidays and those all involve both of us.

For us any money is family money. DH inherited a few thousand a few years ago - decorated the living room, new suite etc. I inherited a few hundred and we bought a new telly. We’re unlikely to inherit anything more but IF a long lost aunt suddenly left one of us a huge (or small) sum then it would be family money. But we’ve been together well over 30 years and have always simply shared whatever we had whether it was very little or a comfortable sum.

We have both had substantial inheritances in the last ten years (me more than him). In both cases we both respected that the money 'belonged' to the inheritee, but in both cases the majority of it went to benefit both of us.
mins went to pay off the mortgage and for some small home improvements, plus I gave a substantial amount to each of my children. There was a little left over which I kept in my personal savings. DH has not asked what was left and I have not told him. His went on a small extension, some building works and a very expensive kitchen, plus he also gave a substantial amount to each of his children. I know there was a little left over which he has put in his own personal savings but I haven't asked how much and he has not told me.

I know that if we were in financial difficulty at all DH would not hesitate to use his personal savings, as would I. Although we both have our 'own' money to spend as we like (we also have a joint account) when it comes down to it we share most things and neither of us would even consider putting ourselves in a better financial position than the other. So our inheritances were not 'family' money... but they were used to benefit the family - if that makes sense.

DH and DW money. My ILs died leaving not much money at all, but I’m likely to get a sizeable inheritance hopefully far in the future from DM. It would never occur to me not to put it into our joint savings. We’re a partnership. We share everything.

I’d probably give the kids a chunk to help them buy a house, but I wouldn’t share it with them. It would add to the pot they’ll inherit some day. If we don’t splurge it all on world cruises first!

It’s his money.

If the will states it’s only for DH, then it’s his (unless it states it’s DH and DC). He can decide whether to share or not as to me inheritance is not a shared asset by default.

My husband and I would decide what to do, with whatever inheritance we had, from any source.

It belongs to the person it was bequeathed to. I would imagine in the context of a long marriage it would become money used to benefit the family as a whole though, as if you have a partner and children there's a limit to what you'd want to gatekeep £200k for, surely?

I don’t understand couples not sharing money. Here's a thought experiment.

The husband's family is wealthy so when he inherits he treats himself to a sports car and tops up his savings. He now has £1 million in his savings while His wife has none and she has no car and catches the bus to do the shopping. He dips into his savings to go skiing with the lads while his wife stays at home. He pays off the mortgage and knocks half the mortgage cost off his half of the bills.

If you feel this isn't fair then why are you arguing inheritance shouldn't be shared?

I agree if in this situation is DH and DC’s money not mine but just would hope DH would spend wisely …..but ultimately it’s up to him.

I would see it as his in terms of deciding what to do with it but at the same time I would be unimpressed if he spent it all on something frivalous if the money would be helpful for something else.

She should LTB because he's a selfish prick.

But legally, it is his money to spend as he chooses. Most, I suspect, would spend the money in ways which would benefit the whole family, but it would be their choice to do that. And they wouldn't be selfish pricks so their wives wouldn't need to LTB, not for that reason anyway.

And life isn't fair.

I thought the rule on Mumsnet was that if it was a male inheriting money it was ‘family’ money but if it was a woman inheriting money it was hers to keep for herself. 🤔

In my household it would be 100% family money. We share all our money and have done since we first got together.