Inheritance -Family money?

[ZekeZeke]

Example:
Married 25 years, no mortgage both work.
2 adult children in University still living at home.(both working part time).
Widowed MIL dies. DH inherits £200,000
Is this family pot money?
DH Money?
DH and DW money?
DH ans DC money?

But can I ask these 2 posters : if you divorced next year, and then in 5 years married someone else, would you feel the same? Let's say 1 year after your 2nd marriage you inherited £200k, would you still say it's family money, and give your 2nd husband half or unfettered access? Knowing (through experience) that the marriage could go tits up. Very different scenario, imo.

I love your enthusiasm for Scotland here 🥳

I inherited about £50k, gave adult DS £5k, and the rest is joint money for DH and I for whatever, I didn't see it as my money.

I'm secretly thrilled my post has 10 pages of replies.
Thank you to everyone that's taken time to reply, it's so interesting.

I don't think an inheritance is family money, but most likely would share it to benefit the family. My main concern is that is ultimately benefits my children.

Joint/family money with the adults deciding and agreeing how it is invested/spent.
In such a long marriage with children unless divorce is currently already on the table then I really can't understood any other viewpoint

Nice update. Glad there was no conflict behind your post, OP.

Any inheritance I have had has been shared, paid I to mortgage, used for a joint trip etc.
DH has yet to have any, but I hope he’d do the same.

Family money.

We don't have 'his' and 'hers' money, it's all just shared.

Family money. My husband has inherited twice. There’s no question that it’s family money.

Just makes sure he chooses the option for you to receive the pension if he dies first. Many spouses have had an very unpleasant surprise when they discover too late that their DP chose the option not to provide for their spouse because that pays a higher amount.

My DH inherited £1.3m, no discussion was even had, its family money. As and when I inherit, same.

Op- you and your husband sound very sensible. I’m sure your mil would have been proud of what you do with her money. Using it to make your future and that of your children secure is all anyone would want for their family. To not have to worry about money, how to pay for a house or to live.
Some people are happy for the money they pass on to be spent on frivolous things and that’s entirely their perogative . You can of course only spend it once. When it’s gone it’s gone!
Ps we are not really rich btw. Just comfortable enough to have an house for each of our children when they will need it and enough money to ensure they can go to university without worrying about how to finance it. We are both from farming backgrounds though so understand the importance of inheritance to keep a farm in the family.

DH money

I’d say DH/DW money but if DH/DW were already mortgage free I’d consider saving a significant cut to DC when they come buying a house to help them out.

I know it is, and I can’t really explain why I think this! The best I can come up with is it’s (certainly on my side anyway) monies that my parent slogged their guts out to earn sacrificing along the way, it’s not inherited through the generations. Therefore although DH, myself and our DC are a family in our own right any inheritance belongs to that side of the extended family unless the receiver chooses otherwise, and should continue downwards. Maybe I view inheritances more as an I’m the custodian of the money and should add to it for my DC, not spend it with DH. At the very least I expect to decide what happens to anything I receive, and expect DH to do the same with any he receives.

We have completely joint finances, even wins on scratch cards are shared it’s just inheritances I think we should keep separate if we want to!

Family money but DH get the say over how it's spent. I'd expect it to be spent on house renovation/ moving house, investing for kids education and/or old ages, lovely travel plans for you DH and DC or maybe a really fancy luxury item for DH to remember his DM by.

DH's money, but a decent DH would treat it as family money.

Legal issues aside, it's a pretty sad indictment on the state of the marriage if this is either a consideration. An inheritance would go into our joint 'pot' as any other income.

DH inherited 200k. It went into the family pot. I inherited £450k. It went into the family pot. Married 40 years everything joint and always has been. All financial decisions joint. If I want to buy something for under £100 I'll just go ahead. So will he. Anything over we run it past the other one

I can't imagine staying in a marriage where this is a question.

All the money is us money. But my DH would never buy something large without talking to me first. And I can trust him to prioritise saving for kids etc.

I think the ‘quality’ of the marriage and the relationship the deceased had with the non-inheriting spouse maybe has an impact.

My parents and DH knew each other for nearly twenty years. They all got on and loved each other. My DH was an amazing support when my parents were ill. He sobbed with me when they died. It would have been weird not to share the money they left for me with him (I think they’d have been really sad at the thought of me keeping it for myself!) If he was a shit husband and my parents hadn’t liked him, perhaps it’d be different.

If/when DH inherits from his parents too, I’m certain he will share it with me.

For me inheritance is not family money. My DH has inherited and I didn’t have any input into how he spends the money and frankly when I am going to inherit it will be my decision on how to spend it. He ended up paying off the mortgage with it but that was his decision alone (but obviously profited the family). When I inherit, I might ask him for input but I will probably have to move a significant chunk into my pension pot.

DH money.
I invested my inheritance so I can retire at 55. DH can already do that as he out earns me x 5.
When and if he gets his inheritance, it's his to do as wishes.
Sod being custodians, we are going to enjoy it and the DC can have what's left they will do very nicely
Together over 30 years and married for 25.

I inherited a good sum of money. I paid off out mortgage all all debts. I bought a new family car, paid for a kitchen extension. Paid of both my children's University and did not keep any to myself . I firmly believe if you have it, you share it.