To be annoyed my DM was refused access with pram?

[EmeraldA129]

We have a local cafe we go to fairly regularly. Normally myself, my DM & DD who is 4 months & in a pram. We almost always have lunch, juice, coffee & often cake too.

Sometimes my DM comes to look after DD for a few hours & will almost certainly go to the same cafe, sometimes for a full lunch though sometimes just a cake & coffee.

I’ve given them 5* reviews for being so welcoming & friendly. We like the team, we like the food & there are a number of tables that can have a pram sitting next to them without causing hassle to the cafe or other customers.

on Sunday my DM went with my DD & although there were tables available the man that works there (we think owner/ manager) said ‘no, sorry, it’s fine to come in with that when it’s quiet, not when we are busy’. My DM asked if he was being serious, he said yes & showed the person behind her to a table that was free. Other people were leaving & trying to offer their table to my DM, but the man said no, it wasn’t suitable.

we’ve had lunch there many times before DD was born, but have been in at least 10 times since she was born. Previously I’ve always felt like a valued customer but now it feels like they’ve been willing to let us give them custom when they need the extra takings.

My DM won’t be going back & I really don’t want to either. Also want to leave them a new 1* review to balance out my previously glowing one.

This happened 5 days ago so it is clearly really bothering me that I’m posting about it now.

AIBU to be annoyed?

My DM insisted on buying me a silver cross pram. I got a small McLaren 2in1 carrycot pram. She moaned about it said she didn't like it. But I used the silver cross once and hated it. Couldn't take it into most places he was a winter baby never used it again.

My mum took DS out twice before admitting defeat. She used to leave us outside in the pram. But even back then in 99 nobody in their right mind would do that.

When mine were tiny you had to collapse on buses too! I managed from birth

Yes - but never universally allowed into places. The old Silver Cross prams used to have to be left outside of baby weighing clinics etc. Pushchairs could not be taken into the doctors. In the 1990s you were not allowed to take an unfolded buggy on busses

Ooh do they also say no to wheelchairs ? They can be pretty bulky too!
Yeah I’d be annoyed too… I’d leave a bad review, I’d complain to the establishment and say you use the place regularly and spend a fortune there…. And I’d take my custom elsewhere!!

Why do people keep saying this about wheelchairs? Can you really not understand the difference?

Yes! But both are bulky and potentially a fire risk! The only real difference is one would take out a law suit for discrimination! Prams aren’t all that bulky these days, they’re designed to fit in car boots etc!

The only real difference?! Assume you aren’t a wheelchair user! How offensive and infantilising.

My point is both are bulky…. The manager was out of order is my point… he wouldn’t turn away a wheel chair user… so why a granny pushing a pram!
But by all means blow my comment out of proportion

Babies can be carried in a sling, use smaller stroller for the short time they need a pram

People using wheelchair have the chair they’ve been assessed for and they often do not have an alternative. They can’t be popped in a stroller or carried in a sling. They are using wheelchair long term

Wheelchair users aren’t a ‘fire risk’. They are also paying customers - not a pram taking the place of a paying customer. I don’t agree with the cafes approach but suggesting a pram is the same as a wheelchair user is daft.

They are using wheelchair long term

They are also protected by law unlike the smallest and most vulnerable in our society.

We have a Noordi travel system, it’s absolutely huge and still takes up a massive amount of space when collapsed down so I avoid certain shops/cafes when using it ( we tried to go to a burger place with the older DC as well and we couldn’t fit the pram through the door, so had to be let in through the fire escape, much to teen DC embarrassment!

That said, I would be happy with the experience your DM had as you are obviously regular customers and the pram clearly fits as you’ve brought it before. I wouldn’t go back tbh. I’ve no doubt prams are a pain for restaurants when busy, but I’ve always found thankfully that they offer some kind of solution, eg storing the pram somewhere else as long as we can hold the baby.

*Wouldn’t be happy!

I think it was really rude, can’t agree with the others saying buggies are annoying etc. They’re not?!

When you’re in a cafe you’re not there to have a walk around, are you? Once you’re in your seat, you’re largely sitting in your seat, unless you go to the toilet and then leave. It’s not a constant obstacle course experience?

God people forget we were all babies and children once. They seem to find the existence of them so inconvenient in this country!

Smallest & most vulnerable? A healthy cared for baby is small yes.vulnerable ,no
DDA was required to address prejudice and systemic inequalities that disbarred and excluded individuals from services and society.
Babies are not routinely vulnerable nor are they excluded or stigmatised

My point was both take up room.
a pram also isn’t a fire risk is it? Since it would simply be pushed out?! The baby isn’t a paying customer but the family.. you know the adults are…. Whether a baby is there or not no one is exactly going to sit at the same table as the granny are they!
OP has every right to take her rather regular custom else where!

Even if the café wasn't full when your DM & pram arrived, they presumably know the regular pattern of busy times on certain days - & didn't want a large space filled by a single customer and pram.
There's a restaurant near me - first time I went in years ago, completely empty, thought it was a bit off that they faffed around with did I have a reservation. They did find me a table. Half an hour later it was full to the rafters because the local theatre had emptied our.

I agree she does. But the rest of your post is still daft. Wheelchair users are protected by law and are not the same as refusing a pram. Also to make it simpler for you, one granny plus baby for coffee and cake = £6 or whatever. One granny plus one wheelchair user for coffee and cake = £12. Cafes operate for profit.

I agree OP could take her business elsewhere because while they were busy, return custom is crucial to the survival of businesses like this, so to turn down a regular customer rather than trying to squeeze them in is rude and foolish. The wheelchair debate is silly and doesn’t come into it.

Also I didn’t say a pram was a fire risk, you did. I specified that wheelchair users were not a ‘fire risk’, didn’t mention your silly comment about prams being a fire risk. HTH

YANBU. It's not turning away the pram which is irritating but fair enough if a space is too small. It's turning away people with prams when there are other more acceptable customers but letting them come in when there's nobody better.

Prams are a pain in the ass. Nobody knows that better than the people who have to push them around. But they are a necessary evil for times when a sling isn't practical.

@TeaKitten “Also to make it simpler for you, one granny plus baby for coffee and cake = £6 or whatever. One granny plus one wheelchair user for coffee and cake = £12. Cafes operate for profit.”

I think you got your math a bit wrong. One granny plus baby for coffee and cake = £6 plus all the other days of coffee, cake, lunch etc. for that one granny who comes back because they felt like a valued customer. Now that would be in the hundreds of £ over the course of regular custom.

No they weren’t. Your mum could have taken the baby out to f the pram and folded it or left it outside. She chose not to.

You’ve created a whole false dichotomy of acceptable vs oh they’ll do at quiet times customers
You have made that up in your head because the cafe didn’t say it, the cafe said they were too busy and declined the pram

What’s the reason that the wheelchair user cant be a return customer?

Also my point about the cafe being unreasonable was because the grandma is a return customer. You are making the same point as me - except you are implying the wheelchair user wouldn’t be a return customer, I don’t understand that.

Does this policy apply for wheelchair users I wonder?