What are your thoughts on holidaying without your children?

[Dinoswearunderpants]

Curious to know if people think it's ok to regularly go on holiday without their kids.

I personally like going away with my DS but I see so many people on social media often go away without their kids.

If you do it, do you take your kids away another time?

Love to know peoples thoughts.

I guess the AIBU is

Me too. It was particularly bad for the first couple of years after I had kids. If my kids wanted bubble gum and I needed the hospital I bet I'd have stopped at the shop on my way to a&e. So fucking unhealthy to raise children to think their every want no matter how trivial comes before any of your wants and needs.

My mother still acts so shocked when I do something because I want to and my sons are in their bloody 20s! Fuck that shit. The best thing I ever taught my son's was that the universe does not revolve around them and being part of a family means we all matters and sometimes they are prioritised and sometimes it's their turn to prioritise someone else.

Your suggestion that other people don't want to do things with their children is what is being commented on.

You're the one that made the implied judgement about other people's choices with your choice of wording and bolding.

Even now suggesting anyone pointing out your judgement is only doing it out of guilt says it all.

We do a mixture. We've had a number of long weekends away and at least one 5 day trip alone. I'm obviously a terrible parent because I'm abandoning my husband and 3 kids for 10 days this summer 😄 I live overseas and I'm going back to my home country for something of a nostalgia tour.

Oh, I miss them but it doesn't stop me from having a fabulous time with friends etc either. Other relationships are important to me too.

ETA: We also do trips individually with the kids. As an example we have a family tradition that I take the kids one-on-one to NYC in the run-up to Christmas.

Both but not big long foreign holidays away without the kids.

No, they’re brilliant to be around and I want to show them the world. On the off chance we go somewhere without them (like a friends wedding abroad or a work trip) we rectify it and take them there as soon as we can.

I do wonder why people are so upset about my choices? Seriously I do.

There are suggestions that children who's parents go away grow up as better rounded children. there are suggestions that relationships are better for time spent away.

That is correct for them. And that is fine and I'm not reading it as my relationship with my husband is worse for not having weekends away.

I'm lucky to have seen some amazing places and had some amazing experiences. And as parents, we want to be able to share these sort of things with our kids. Someone else said, up thread somewhere, that they had spent 10 years travelling with their partner and maybe that is what made the difference for them not needing it now they have children. I probably agree with that as the possible reason we are happy as we are.

Again, why the upset about mychoice, which is what is it. I do enjoy spending time with my kids! I wonder if it's guilt from those about it.

I haven't criticised your choice or passed any judgement.

As I have explained, I went into having kids knowing I wouldn't have childcare and for that's fine. We're now at the point we can leave our kids for a few hours in the evening so we've started having nights out again, and it will be only a few short years before we're back to holidaying alone. We're perfectly comfortable and happy with this. Others are in different situations, and that is also fine.

Of course that is fine. I'm not the one writing judgemental posts on MN.....

I don't why it has anything to do with you? If a parent is happy going away without their children, that's their decision. Stop judging.

Wow 😂 Maybe because I also have a social life? I love girls weekends away and counting down the days until my next one in April ✈️ aye you're right I shouldn't have got married or kids though because of this.

Your judgement of other people with your bolding is what people are commenting on. As has been said by several posters.

Nobody actually gives a monkeys what you do. Just your need to be judgemental and suggest that people who make different choices to you don't want to do things with their children as much as you do.

I do long weekends, my mum has my daughter once a month anyway. It's their time together and they both look forward to it so we make use of it. I think each to their own, it suits some people and it doesn't suit others so long as the kids and adults are happy and looked after I see no issue with it.

No, it’s not okay. You shouldn’t have had children if you didn’t want them to be part of your life

Your children are still part of your life, even if you have the odd break away without them.

We've been on a few trips away over the years without our children - usually for a weekend, but occasionally for a week or so. We were lucky that my in-laws loved to have them stay, and my kids loved to be with their nan and grandad, otherwise we wouldn't have done it. And we never did it at the expense of a main family holiday.

And remarkably, my kids are still part of my life! I actually think it's good to have a little time apart from each other on occasion, and it's good to remember that my DH and I are a couple, as well as parents.

And no-one ever said that children had to be attached to your hip at all times. What about when a child wants to go on a school trip, or a cub camp? Should they not go, because for that week, they are not part of your life? Of course not!

That is my ideal, I try to do the same.

Do you have family who can watch your kids? Or haven't you been out without them in 5 years?

I do wonder why people are so upset about my choices? Seriously I do.

@justteanbiscuits Nobody give a shit about your choices. really they don't.
It's the judgement that people are picking up on.

Bloody hell! I answered a question on a forum. if you read judgement into it then so be it. I was simply explaining my own experience. And to be honest, with no unpaid for childcare, it's not something that I could even consider.

@mindutopia my life is similar to yours. I only spend on holidays and experiences; almost zero on clothes, skin, hair. I don't even have a car. I live to travel.

I might say that I have never paid any attention to sentences that begin: You shouldn't have children if... or Why did you have a family if you are going to do this or that?

I can't be the only person who didn't know exactly how parenthood would feel ...before I became a parent?
My kids are teens now and I spent my first night away from them in 10 years (barring sleepovers they've been on) last year, I'm pretty sure they're not traumatised by the fact I went on a few holidays without them when they were 2!

🤦🤦 nobody is upset about your choices.

Several people have explained that very clearly and so I have to assume you are not getting it because you don't want to and you want to pretend it's your choice not your wording that comes across as judgemental.

It's ok to say yeah, when I said "I had kids because I want to spend time with them" I bolded want because I think people who go away without their kids sometimes don't want to. Hence my choice to bold want"

Own your words. Stand by them.

Edit - xpost with your "bloody hell" post. Yeah, you post an opinion and one of the things you'll get is an opinion on your opinion 🤷 same as everyone. There's no point discussing it further though, clearly.

We haven’t done it much to be honest. Went away twice for one night in the 12 years we’ve had DS and he does go without us, to stay with family which he loves. Like having the time as a couple but do miss DS. Having said which DS is an excellent traveller and very easy to be around, I’d bring him anywhere, and in any type of holiday. We’ve holidayed separately with him too (one parent & DS) when annual leave/holiday cover was too stretched to have a family holiday, and that’s also fun. This half term I’m going for a few days with just my friends and DH and DS are having some one on one time which will involve a hobby I have zero interest in.

There’s no one size fits all, I’d say depends on the age and temperament of the child, the type of things each individual likes doing and circumstances. I certainly, unlike others on this thread, wouldn’t judge anyone that does it differently to us. Doesn’t mean we love each other or our child any less, or don’t enjoy spending time together. Sometimes you just want to do different things. But I’m going to enjoy my child free time next week although I’ll miss them both a bit, I know they’ll be having far more time without me being bored like I would be if I stayed with them.

So I say, do what makes you all the happiest.

As soon as the kids were teenagers, we never went on holiday with them. Left them with the grandparents whilst we had a great time away. Holidaying with kids is not my idea of fun!

Go stand in the naughty corner @Parky04