What are your thoughts on holidaying without your children?

[Dinoswearunderpants]

Curious to know if people think it's ok to regularly go on holiday without their kids.

I personally like going away with my DS but I see so many people on social media often go away without their kids.

If you do it, do you take your kids away another time?

Love to know peoples thoughts.

I guess the AIBU is

It's great! I do it at least once a year. I mean, if I truly could only afford one holiday, then obviously I wouldn't ditch dh and the dc and home and go on my own, but I can afford to do both.

I've done it for as long as I've had children. Usually a city break abroad or some sort of active holiday - I did a walking holiday in Europe last year. This year, I'm going on a women's retreat weekend in the UK in May, but probably abroad at some point. We also do family holidays in the UK - camping or self-catering holiday cottage. And maybe every year or two, I take one dc away for a city break for one-on-one time - we've done Barcelona, Venice, etc.

It's lovely to have time for myself - but also have time for family. It's what I prioritise in terms of how I spend my time and money. I don't buy much in the way of new clothes, no expensive hair appts, no lash extensions or nails, don't have a fancy car. I spend money on hobbies and travel.

But dh and I also have a life that is built around flexibility and family time. We are both almost always around in the afternoons and evenings after school because our work-life balance allows for that. We have hours and hours of family time together even on a weekday. We have weekends together as we generally prioritise family time and we don't pack our days full of running to a million activities. We aren't stressed and overworked and exhausted, most of the time anyway. So it's lovely to also take time to do things we enjoy. We don't always need to be together every day all day. Dh is the same - he has a few holidays away each year with friends.

I do agree with this. I don't want my dd to think that I'm a martyr or that she needs to be a martyr in order to be a good mum. I have a successful career, my own interests and voluntary commitments, friends etc. However, for me, this doesn't extend to going on holiday without dd because I actively enjoy having her with us!!

But as I said, I wouldn't judge anyone for feeling differently. We should all do what's right for us...ultimately, kids benefit most from having parents who are happy with their own lives.

Not even a long weekend? Where you can top up your own reserves and come back re-energised for your children?
Wow.

I can't imagine going on holiday without my children or without my husband. Why have a family if you're not going to spend your precious holiday time together?

I had one so they can fetch me the remote control.

Because I'm also my own person and don't need to be permanently attached to my husband and/or children.

I love it! We only do occasional long weekends now, but when our child was a bit younger and didn’t really understand the passage of time, we’d do a week. Was amazing! And she has a fantastic relationship with both sets of grandparents- everyone was happy!

Taking the bins out and bringing me coffee in bed.

My youngest also makes an excellent footstool.

When my DC were little I had 3 or 4 holidays without them for a week at a time. The first when DS was about 18 months. I really enjoyed them but we had family holidays too
I was a SAHM at the time, and with them majority of the time for 51 weeks a year, and DH and MIL were with them while I was away
I don't think it drastically affected my parenting. DH used to have a couple of boys trips but I'm sure dad's going away doesn't illicit the same reaction

It is amazing how judgemental people are about other people's choices.

Doing different from you doesn't make others a shit parent.
Nor does it mean they are judging you (or even give a shit) about what you do.

I think everyone's needs and preferences are different. And frankly, some kids are better company than others!

I find the comments about family/children coming first quite interesting.

Doesn't it also benefit children for their parents to have a solid relationship and to spend quality time together on a regular basis?

I can't imagine having children and giving that up for two decades.

Because I'm more than a mother and a wife.

Yip, done it since they were 4 weeks old.

I have a very well adjusted 18 year old that hasn't been traumatised by not being attached to me 24 hours a day.

I regularly go on holidays without my child, however I'm separated from his dad so I use the time he's there as I would be missing him anyway, so might aswell miss him from Italy

Again, why the upset about my choice, which is what is it. I do enjoy spending time with my kids! I wonder if it's guilt from those about it.

As I have explained, I went into having kids knowing I wouldn't have childcare and for that's fine. We're now at the point we can leave our kids for a few hours in the evening so we've started having nights out again, and it will be only a few short years before we're back to holidaying alone. We're perfectly comfortable and happy with this. Others are in different situations, and that is also fine.

Omg, my experience of childhood was much similar!

left me with a profound sense of guilt.

I am certain men going away on their own would not be asked why they have families or children.

Best bit about them being in their teens is they can also make coffee :D

Not your choice. The way you phrased your choice read as very judgemental of those who make different choices. (See how bolding gives emphasis? That.)

You can't expect to say something judgemental and not have that reflected back at you 🤷.

It certainly benefits the kids if the parents have a strong relationship. However, that doesn't necessarily mean that you need loads of time alone with your partner - it just depends on how the relationship works. Quality time as a family can help to nurture a relationship as well.

In any case, as the kids hit their teenage years and start spending more time with friends/away on school trips etc, you may find that you have plenty of time alone with your spouse/partner in any case!! DH and I don't seem to have forgotten how to talk to each other in the interim!!

I'm my own person too, but that doesn't mean I would ever want to spend holiday time away from my immediate family. The only time I ever went away without my daughter and husband was when I had to go to Australia for a week with my Mum when my brother died. It was right in the middle of her GCSEs so my husband had to stay at home with her. Apart from the terrible sadness of the trip, I missed my daughter and husband the whole time and hated them not being there. My husband and I had a couple of trips away when my daughter was on week long school trips, which we enjoyed, but she was still a teenager then and we really missed her.

@justteanbiscuits so you don't think other people can afford that..... and therefore that's not what makes it precious?

You're reading it as judgemental. I bolded to emphasise that it was my choice. Though I realised I meant to bold "I want" rather than just want.

I said it makes them privileged.