What are your thoughts on holidaying without your children?

[Dinoswearunderpants]

Curious to know if people think it's ok to regularly go on holiday without their kids.

I personally like going away with my DS but I see so many people on social media often go away without their kids.

If you do it, do you take your kids away another time?

Love to know peoples thoughts.

I guess the AIBU is

We're fortunate to be able to do both and LOVE our child free holidays. Don't forget that you were husband & wife (or boyfriend and girlfriend) before you were mum and dad.

Me and DH went abroad for 5 days last year and our son loved staying with his grandparents so much that as soon as we got home he asked when we were next going away so he could stay with gran again!

Why are you so threatened by what I choose?? I didn't say everyone had to do the same. I chose to wait till my thirties to have children so my husband and I could travel, party and have wild times. Due to childcare costs we couldn't afford much for holidays with the kids when they were young, let alone be able to afford to go away without them. Now that we can, we truly enjoy sharing the experiences with them.

@PinkiOcelot It's fine if you are happy doing it. But if people are starting threads asking why other people travel without DC, I am going to assume they are not happy.

Goodness me..... pretty OTT!

Me too. We'd go on a family holiday for 2 weeks and include Mil and FiL who loved spending time with DGS. Then after we had been home about 2 weeks my MiL invited dgs to spend a week with her because she and FiL lived by seaside. Fil took a week's holiday off from work and they took DS to different places everyday. He had a fantastic time and now he's grown up he still fondly recalls the holidays with Nanny and Grampa. DH and I went on a week holiday on our own. We happily did this for about 12 years until DS was 16.

So perfect.....

We also have the working parent issue of annual leave!!! That's the bigger problem because, when they were younger (both finally at high school!) any annual leave taken was money we would need to spend on holiday club!

Oh stop it with your measured and reasonable attitude, that won't do at all!

Enjoy your hair shirt.

😁

I think it's really important to foster independence and wider family relationships, if that happens to coincide with DH and I having a weekend away , I'm sure I will soldier on 😁.
We also travelled extensively prior to DS and take him on holiday every year, usually more than once, we also do loads at weekends, in school holidays etc. He doesn't suffer or go without.....

We tend to have a weekend away without the kids. The kids are taken away multiple times a year, get days out every weekend, spent a fortune on hobbies that in my sons case he is taken to the next town twice a week and driven all round the country sometimes both weekend days. They do not go without. This year we are going away for a week next month without them for our ten year wedding anniversary. They are all 11 plus now and one is an adult. They have a holiday abroad in the summer and one in October and a weekend away with the whole family to look forward to.

There's no one answer to this, because people's parenting experiences are so different. If you have kids that require round the clock care, due to health issues, learning difficulties, or something else, then taking time away will be benefit everyone, as otherwise you run the risk of burning out. If you happen to have kids whose personalities and needs fit perfectly with your parenting style, then maybe you wouldn't want to be without them for a week or so. In reality, most of us are going to fall somewhere in the middle of those two extremes.

So you don't think annual leave is precious to working parents? Every days annual leave that was taken outside of school holidays was £90 in holiday club..

We do both. Usually go away about 3 times a years with our daughters. Then maybe an odd night or weekend a year on our own. We also maybe go away for 5 nights on our own about every 2 years. Love both holidays. Think it’s really important to spend that quality time with my husband! Appreciate we are very lucky with childcare though both grandparents very local and happy to help, my mum always encourages me to go with husband!
As much as everyone is saying, you can go alone when they are grown up, unfortunately life isn’t always predictable.

I think it depends on the set up.

I used to go away every year without my elder girls when it was just the three of us . I’d have a cheap trip somewhere while they were on holidays with their grandparents. I don’t think a £100 cheapo to Benidorm or Mallorca to get some sunshine while they were in 4* hotels in really nice places harmed them in any way.

I currently go away once a year without my youngest. She requires full time care. Once a year I get 5 days where my lovely MiL and OMIL take over and DH and I get a break. Often it’s a time spent discussing DD4s next treatment options or operations, but it’s mostly spent catching up on sleep and recharging.

My children get a better parent from the fact we’re lucky enough to be able to go away with them and without them.

I really love holidays with DC, they're so much fun but we usually get one or two nights away a year from him and it's great. I really appreciate the break (thanks mum & dad) and getting to spend more time with DH.

I'd like to pretend we do something fancy but we usually just get smashed and have loads of sex.

Some of us can buy extra leave to use as we wish, therefore not sacrificing any time for the school holidays.

Both, definitely....
I feel so much better after i've had a weekend away with DH, refreshed and ready to be a parent again. It's so important for our relationship as a couple as well to have some time just for us.

Exactly 🙌🙌🙌🥳

Ours are late teens now, but DH and I have always made time for ourselves and go away 3/4 times a year without DC.

They get plenty of trips and holidays, they're not missing out, they also do trips without us, relating to their various activities.

I absolutely adore my children, and give them every opportunity, spend time with them both individually, but my primary relationship is with my husband, the objective of good parenting is to slowly shove your children out of the nest so they can enjoy a fulfilling life.

Part of my fulfilling life is my relationship with my husband, so I absolutely centre that, and our children know that (in a good way).

I think having a holiday away with without your children is great. I totally understand some people don’t feel comfortable doing it and that’s fine. Maybe it’s because DH and I live hours away from family so we don’t get babysitters that often, and DH works shifts so we barely see each other, but I can’t wait for us to get time away on our own. We try to have a few overnight stays away just us two and our parents will come and stay with DS. In fact, my parents always get us a voucher for a hotel stay or something similar for Christmas just for us two, with a note that babysitting is included by them. We both occasionally go away with our friends as well. We’ve always said our main holiday would be a family one with DS where we can make memories as a family, but that doesn’t mean we can’t go away on our own outside that.

Not threatened. I thought your comment sounded really judgemental and it comes across that you feel that anyone who does go on holiday without their children doesn't want to do things with them like you do which you consider a failing.

"I had kids because I want to do things with them" has an unspoken second part which is "unlike you, apparently" and is not exactly a neutral non judgemental statement in the context of this discussion now is it?

Perhaps it was the fact you bolded want. Putting particular emphasis on want means it looks like you are saying those who do things differently don't want...

I agree with that @Tetsuo now my DC are grown and I am almost an empty nester. But also develop a relationship with yourself because children leave, men leave, and you are the only one you can rely on. I had no childcare as I am an immigrant so both sets of parents far away. So DH is my only childcare.

I know so many mums who never go away by themselves, and then are completely bereft when their DC don't want to spend any time with them any more. Just have a look at the empty nest posts.

For those who have trouble getting away or not enough leave, my sympathies. Obviously, you have to wait. What I am not keen on are the sanctimonious posts judging others.

I've taken my kids away as a single parent most years, I had DS1 at 19 so that is a lot of holidays with children.

This year I am going on honeymoon with my new DH, first holiday without kids and I honestly don't know how I feel about it. (they are teens now and will be with their dad who lives in a holiday location in the uk)