She always wins because she cheats!

[abouttogetlynched]

AIBU to be pissed off that my 8 y/os friends mum makes stuff for her kid for school when it’s supposed to be made by the kid and she ultimately wins every time for the best item?
She won best Easter bonnet competition and won a giant Easter egg, she won best something or other at Christmas and got extra breaks, she won something creative last year and got to sit on a ‘throne’ all day at school and a big bag of sweets. But the mum makes all these things for her and not only should it be very obvious to the teachers that it’s not been made by an 8 year old, but the mum tells me she’s made it all and laughs about it. The kid is never involved in helping or even gives ideas, and often doesn’t even see the item until it’s given to her on the day of the competition. The one at Christmas she hadn’t seen at all coz the mum just handed it in directly to school.
The kid never admits that she’s had no involvement in making it and gratefully accepts the rewards and attention lavished on her for always winning at these creative competitions. My DD is getting quite jealous at this friend apparently being so much better than her at things and always winning. Pisses me off.

I remember back in the day,school asked parents to boil an egg and get us to decorate it (I'm guessing it was for easter)

In all my years at that hell hole,I never went near that blasted egg (neither did my brothers when it was their turn)

We never got to choose what we wanted to do either

My mother sat every single year,crafted the damn thing and sent it in as our work

Never won a prize either as
A-my face didn't fit and B-she was crap at it

Really took the fun out of it-it was my project not hers and a waste of time as I could have made the best egg in the world and still wouldn't have won

It would have been better if they'd got parents to send an egg in,let us decorate it at school and when displayed,taken the names away

The cheating mum is going to be devastated when she gets beaten by a child one day (I hope)

I think a lot of mums at my daughters school feel this about us 🤣 truth is I don’t have a creative bone in my body and she is incredibly creative and talented. That is not a brag she isn’t top of the class on anything else and struggles academically
but works book day / bonnet making / craft competitions etc it’s always her that wins.

Ah it starts in primary school and carries on at uni and work. Life isn’t fair. You could have a word with the school, but to what end? They clearly couldn’t give a hoot. Or you could reward your child for their efforts instead and explain that cheaters are losers. Best done in front of cheating mum.

@Sharontheodopolodous Oh no, that really is a double whammy of crapness - your mum not letting you have a go for yourself, and her being shit at it too!! How infuriating.

Sounds like you need to up your arts & crafts game op.

There’s many people that do this.. was when I was at school and the same with dc schools. When DS was in primary school, one of the parents helped out at the school, she won everything, got seats reserved at every assembly, school play etc. everybody noticed but there’s no point saying anything because it just gets swept under the rug.

Yes: but my assumption is that it's the way of the world and not something either I or DC are about to lose sleep over. Had a wry smile with DH about the kid who's always the lead in the play and given the roles of house captain etc, probably being the child of a prominent PTA member. As far as I'm concerned they can have their perks: I have little involvement with organising school activities owing to work commitments and if someone else wants to do it, as far as I'm concerned they're removing that burden from parents like me.

There's one parent who, in the fun cake decorating competitions etc, takes it entirely seriously, brings in components clearly professionally made beforehand, and her kid assembles them onsite whilst smiling around everyone having finished first and invariably scooping the 'prize'.

In the scheme of things, it's silly and overall pretty harmless as far as the other kids are concerned. It's also not doing the children of the 'cheats' any particular favours in the long-run. Mostly, people have to put in a lot harder work and effort in order to achieve recognition in this life: it rarely falls into people's laps unless they really do have nepotism on their side.

Let them crack on!

There will always be people that play the system and win because they do not care about fairness. These people will never change because it is who they are. What I don’t understand are the onlookers who know this behaviour is wrong but do nothing to try and stop it happening. @abouttogetlynched you know that this is having a detrimental effect on your DD but you would rather complain about it on MN than walk whatever distance it is to your DD’s class after school to speak to her teacher or drop her teacher an email. 5 years this has been happening and you have stood by and just watched it happen! I am raising my DD to speak up in the face of injustice and to be the change that she wants to see in the world and one of the main ways I do this is by speaking up myself. If your DD hasn’t already clocked it, she will soon realise that this other girl’s mum is cheating and has always cheated and that knowledge will sting.

And yes, YABU because she doesn’t win because she cheats, she wins because she cheats and no one does anything to stop her.

Things like this wind me up too. I nearly emailed the school once as it seemed the same old kids were getting all the air time in the newsletter but I managed to stop myself on that one! I think in your case though I would have to say something if it happens every time, pointless for anyone else to enter.

My husband did this. He entered a cake competition at work with a cake made by my mum, and won! I grassed him up to all his colleagues! Be that grass OP.

You think that's bad- I know a 21 year old who's mum writes all her cv's and job applications 😑

@tralalalalalalalalYou think that's bad- I know a 21 year old who's mum writes all her cv's and job applications

You do know that there are legit professional services that do this for people, right? You go in, tell them what you have done, relevant dates and positions, and what you want. They then write a CV, make sure your LinkedIn has all the right info and searchable buzz words in it, and they do your applications. Obviously they can’t sit the interviews for you though! Many people use such a service. Given this, no idea why a young person’s mum doing essentially the same thing is noteworthy.

My DH used such a service when he was last looking to change jobs. They also know lots of tips and tricks like how if you claim you are gender uncertain and currently exploring your gender, it gets you on pretty much everyone’s interview list as it seems to tick a box. Hot tip there😁.

The teachers should know better. Happens in every school!

Sounds like she is enjoying winding you up -

My nephew made a castle for school with support but did it himself. He was disappointed it wasn't as good as the parent-made ones so BIL made a spectacular one labelled "parent's homework project". He got the point across. The school doesn't have make at home things anymore for this reason.

Love this. Ya grass! 😀

That is so hard for other kids. The teachers should know better. But the mum is not doing her kid any favours, is she going to sit her exams for her. The kid is learning you can win by cheating and not putting in any effort.

It's v annoying but happens throughout school. My child would spend ages making stuff or whatever was needed and end result would be good/obvs made by child. And yet always the same child would.win and the things were all obv made by a parent..unless he did cake decorating classes in the womb!

I’d be making a snidy remark to the teacher like ‘ wow imagine an 8 year old making that she must be a genius’.
If I made it they’d think a six year old did it 😂

If you ever read the "Molesworth" books (satire on prep schools in the 50's/60's, illustrated by Ronal Searle), you will find the character named Grabber, winner of everything including the Mrs Joyful Prize for Raffia Work; this is not a new phenomenon. The school might try to maintain the pretence, but peers will get wise to it, and teachers may find that other pupils don't even bother to enter, as the winner isn't just a foregone conclusion, but a fivegone.
Either she will come to grief when the challenges get beyond Mummy's capacity, or nobody will give her credit when she does deserve it.

This happened at my kids school before xmas. There was a competition set by the local MP to design his Christmas card. The child who won openly told everyone in the class her gran painted the picture for her.
The family still seemed thrilled their little darling got in the local papers having her picture taken next to said sleazy Tory MP. 🤢🤢

When my DS was in infant school - girl in his year won a prize for a model she made. It was obviously a true feat of engineering , even more so as she had sprained her right wrist and couldn’t even hold a pen. Her dad boasted that morning that it was all his own creation. It’s nit fair on kids who really try

Also pisses me off the same children always picked for the prime roles. Usually a goody goody child/ pushy parent and/or parent closely involved with PTA or help in the classroom etc. Chlidren from poorer less 'educated' backgrounds never given a chance no matter how hard they try. I want to cry sometimes seeing how undervalued these children are.
NB apologies if I haven't worded this too well but I hope you understand what I am getting at.