She always wins because she cheats!

[abouttogetlynched]

AIBU to be pissed off that my 8 y/os friends mum makes stuff for her kid for school when it’s supposed to be made by the kid and she ultimately wins every time for the best item?
She won best Easter bonnet competition and won a giant Easter egg, she won best something or other at Christmas and got extra breaks, she won something creative last year and got to sit on a ‘throne’ all day at school and a big bag of sweets. But the mum makes all these things for her and not only should it be very obvious to the teachers that it’s not been made by an 8 year old, but the mum tells me she’s made it all and laughs about it. The kid is never involved in helping or even gives ideas, and often doesn’t even see the item until it’s given to her on the day of the competition. The one at Christmas she hadn’t seen at all coz the mum just handed it in directly to school.
The kid never admits that she’s had no involvement in making it and gratefully accepts the rewards and attention lavished on her for always winning at these creative competitions. My DD is getting quite jealous at this friend apparently being so much better than her at things and always winning. Pisses me off.

One time I spent ages making something (completely by myself) and it was genuinely brilliant (I wasnt consistently really good at art but this came out amazing). And someone else won and later the teacher made a patronising comment to me along the lines of if its obvious your mum helped you, you won't win. But my mum didn't help me at all.

Not relevant but I needed to get it off my chest!

We had a family like this at DC's last school. Dad was a professional photographer and the Mum had an art degree. They literally won everything. From school competitions to local and regional photography competitions with utterly extraordinary photos from age 6 onwards. Mindblowing art that never matched what the children did in class.
It was exasperating.

It's not good but you've left it 5 years so you're not likely to speak up now.

There's nothing to stop you doing the same. It's likely the school knows but knows they can't police this because it's likely MOST parents help their dc.

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

I think it's a difficult one though if she's not telling the teachers that her mum did it.

At my dc's infant school they always used to have a craft competition at their summer fair. And I carefully let dd1 do her own thinking that was what was wanted. No. The first two years the four that won, there was absolutely no way the children had got anywhere near them.

So when she was year 2, I thought that I wasn't prepared to do it (and tbf I'm not artistic) but I worked out something stood out a little but was clearly done by a child.
She won the top prize.
So I used that technique with dd2 who started the following year. I didn't touch any part of it, but I told them what to do.
To my embarrassment dd2 won the top prize all three years (in year 2, I asked the head to make sure she didn't win, but apparently the outside judge insisted)

But that started a trend of more children doing it, because people noticed that the winner had done it herself so they decided the judging took that into consideration and so stepped back.

However when I was at infant school we had a decorated egg. I made the masterpiece of my life, which was a daffodil. Tbf it was very simple, and so it looked quite good. It was put on the table of those whose parents had done it. At that age I didn't take that as a compliment and I told the teacher and she believed me.
I also, when aged about 12yo, entered the village fair with a soft toy I'd made in for the children's competition. I did it all from designing the pattern, through to all the making and even managed a little parasol for it to hold (held together with bluetac!) When I went to pick the prize up, two ladies were saying very loudly that it was a crying shame that one had won because you could tell it was a kit.
So it can be hard for a teacher to know whether something has been done by an adult or a child, and, if they rely on the child telling them, then some children will lie, and some will have a great idea that they have done more than they have.
A young child might do a bit of colouring and say to the teacher that they did do it themselves, not realising how much work went into the rest.

My child 9 also have raised this with us regarding homework and asked why we do not help her when other parents do. Our response is always that it's your homework not ours. We will help if you are stuck but not unnecssarily step in as this is preparing you for real world when you will have to do projects on our own. And I am proud to say that she did win a borough wide prize in writing on her own and got her art displayed at RCA all through her own efforts. Parents like this are not doing their kids any favours. How awful for the child herself. Do raise it with the teacher.

I was once asked to judge an Easter bonnet competition as my son wasn't in it all but one was a fantastical parent created work of art so I gave first prize to the margarine tub with a plastic sunflower and a pound shop chicken stuck on it because it was obvious that the child had made it himself. The faces in the runners up were a sight to behold 🤣

The school should know it's not been made by an 8 year old though, what are they thinking?! If it's happened multiple times an email to the school couldn't do any harm.
It's not fair on the girl or the other kids, and just a bit pathetic really, imagine needing to win a school art competition that badly!

Is this still going on
My kids were at school 20 years ago and it was the same then !!
Probably find the mums a school governor or a relative of a teacher !

I agree. My son's Dad made one of his projects. It was blindingly obvious my son could not have produced this. My son won and frankly I was appalled the teacher gave him the prize for something he had clearly not produced himself.

All the parents on my class whatsapp are currently lolling about 'their parentss homework' as a craft project has been set over half term. That there will be prizes for.

Teachers should stop giving prizes for these home projects. The kids can see its blatantly unfair. All it is teaching kids is that you get rewarded for cheating. And that its output that is rewarded, not effort or integrity.

Do the mature thing? Do you think it's mature that a grown woman is literally stealing a prize from an 8 year old?

Rewarding parents for their efforts is also another way schools that do that discriminate against children with parents that don’t care, parents that are disabled and can’t help, and looked after children among others

This sort of homework makes me really cross. Partly because some parents do it but mainly because craft-type homework always takes hours - particularly if it is done well. It's a total nightmare if children have activities at the weekend or have contact with a NRP. Homework shouldn't take more than 30 minutes - projects on building your own viking ship will take far longer than that.

I remember a thread by one lady who said that both she and her child had cried several times over 4+ hours on one project. And it still looked shit.

A friend's child was given a cooking-type homework. When may friend said that they were having building work and didn't have a kitchen, the teacher said it was fine to do it for the following Monday. So my friend said that the building work was going to take months and they would have no kitchen for at least six weeks. "Oh, do it at a friend's house! Make a playdate out of it!" said that teacher. So blooming awkward.

Losers for doing that.

I remember the art teacher at my dcs prep school giving her daughter the art prize.

All jokers.

What kind of a school has a child sit on a throne all day as a prize? That's just absolutely awful. Boring for the child and awful for all the other kids.

I was in the gym cafe the other day and saw a mother brazenly doing her child's maths homework while her kid was at a tennis/swimming lesson.
If I had known her/the child and what school they are affiliated to I would have had no issue with calling the school up and dobbing her in. She is doing him no favours.

😂 I’m so with the OP.
Our kids had to make something about their favourite topic at school. There was a prize. One kid bought in this Willy Wonker wonderland. It was beautiful. Obviously hand painted to minute detail. It was so obviously hours of work and completed by an adult.
I couldn’t believe it when “the child” won first place. The injustice! Why don’t schools (privately) exclude these entries?! I felt embarrassed for the parent and child. My daughter told me it was a really good entry, I had to stop myself from telling her the parents made it because she has a mouth on her and would have spilled the beans…. But really!!! I totally blame the school and the parents with too much time on their hands.

This made me chuckle 🤭

Ha ha. I remember one of those! She was also the one who complained when her DC didn’t get the lead in the Y6 play and, when told that the cast would not be changing — get this — wrote a whole play-within-a-play, starring her DC, that she insisted was included! I have to say, great at art: not much of a playwright. And the DC should concentrate on the day job.

Easter last year my daughter won the top prize because she was the only one in her class who made her own bonnet. It was painfully obvious when the kids came out the parents had made their bonnets.

My daughter was pleased as punch though.

We had a cake competition in my ds primary school and my ds tried really hard baking and decorating and hoped to win,
Meanwhile another mum got a professional cake made of the school logo and won.
Every parent was disappointed for all their dc hard-work as how can the dc compete with a professional cake maker.
I see it as she bought her dc that prize.

Why was this even entertained?

I’d email in “ can you clarify the rules on the xxx competition please ? Is this for parents or children , as im aware that the last few winning entries have been made by a parent ( confirmed by said parent in the playground )?
I would like to be clear on the rules as
I’m happy for DD to enter the pupil only competitions but unfortunately I don’t have time to enter the adult / parent ones “

I will go against the grain and say I don't think this should occupy much of your headspace at all op. I can totally understand if this was related to academic work but the competitions you mention sound peripheral and perhaps meant to be fun rather than serious. Your DC still may not win even if this other child doesn't. Life is sadly unfair. If this "injustice" is "righted" your daughter will still come across more unfairness in life.

I know. I think she just ground down the teacher tbh.