Alien/space creature day at school

[VGY3]

We were informed a few weeks ago that school is doing it today. The memo was to 'be creative' and 'make' something to come to school in.. as an alien or space creature.

Me and DS worked together to make his. He was proud as punch and excited to show his friends.. until we got to school and saw that most of the other children in the class were in shop bought (proper) costumes. He then felt "silly" about his costume not being a "real one" and didn't want to wear it anymore.

I know people can be pushed for time, I am too, 3 kids and work ft, but we've had weeks. How hard is it to stick some googly eyes on a piece of card?

There was some hand made ones available in the class for children who's parents didn't participate, so nobody would feel left out. There was no need to go out and splurge on pricy costumes.

AIBU to feel a bit peeved?

I'm so sorry for your DS, and you, @VGY3.
It's lovely to hear that you and him made it together and that he was proud of it.
Alas many parents don't go to that effort, for a whole host of reasons (some more justifiable than others perhaps), and end up buying something - for some reason these often end up being seen as cooler by their peers, which is really sad. I wouldn't force him to wear it, but I'd encourage him by saying how much his teacher will love to see it and be proud of his hard work and efforts!

You could have done that too. OP has every right to feel a bit peeved tbh.

Peeved at whom?

I read this as 'alien/space creature at day school' and thought we'd been invaded!

I would've bought something too.

YABU. What others do to manage and prioritise their time is up to them.

OP posted here because she didn't want her business to be minded. She wanted the opinions of others.

Ah you'll always get this.
It's like when they do the egg competitions at school it's always the parents who do it and win.
My child does the competition themself.
I always remind her the parents help but she did it herself so far better.
Don't let it get to you and just concentrate on what you're doing

Opinions on whether it's ok to feel peeved, not general opinions on her character.

Even though the memo stated to 'be creative' and 'make something'?

I'd love to have the space and stash of stuff to be able to just throw together "creative" costumes with DS but we're 4 people living in 400 square feet and nowhere to do something like that away from the toddler. I'd love to have the time after after school club/work, but when we get home at 6:20pm and have to be in bed by 7, I barely have time to read DS's book with him, feed him a snack and do his bath before bedtime. Sometimes we can colour or play together depending on what they both need when we get home.

I'd most likely have to buy something and feel guilty that the other mums were judging me for not being the perfect mother.

To be honest, yes I'd be upset, and upset for my child. It was the same at our Nativity last year. I thought the kids would make a shoddy crown or tinsel halo at school, maybe wear a pillow case haha, but turns out everyone bought their costumes off Amazon. More landfill waste and pressure on those of us that maybe can't afford to buy a one-off costume but then felt pressured into it. I'm dreading book days really. No creativity, just lazy wasteful spending.

I'd most likely have to buy something and feel guilty that the other mums were judging me for not being the perfect mother.

@SisterMichaelsHabit I feel that it's sad that some children don't get the chance to make things at home, but I wouldn't judge anyone not knowing their circumstances. I do think people underestimate how 'good' home made costumes have to be though, they don't have to be elaborate (in fact I can envisage a bin bag with some adornments easily becoming an alien costume....).

Yep.

I'm never going to be the DIY, everything homemade mum and it simply isn't my priority to be one when I have other things going on that take up more of my time.

Our first primary usually made it slightly competitive - ie best costume gets a certificate and a chocolate - in order to encourage people to make their own or (more likely) get parent to 😂

I think school should have done the mask making it something in school and then they'd all have something of a similar standard.

I think there's a few issues with these dress up days.

A - what is the learning benefit? What do the kids actually get out of being too hot/cold/itchy for the day? Is it a better learning experience than if they were just wearing their normal uniform etc.

B - I would love to be a "make it" mum but I have 3 DC, a DH who works away and I work ft myself. Craft makes me want to hide. I feel overwhelmed by the mess and very underwhelmed by the results. My DC end up distressed by how rubbish our output looks and we all cry.

C - many people will end up buying off Amazon in desperation. This costs money and is bad for the environment. Takes me back to point A.

There's a school near us where they dress up All. The. Time. Every single topic they do has an associated dress up day. This just results in multiple posts on local parent FB groups looking for a Victorian/evacuee/Mayan/Roman/Tudor/Greek outfit and they all buy a prepackaged kit off Amazon or each other . I cannot see the point at all and genuinely think that parents of DC at that school must spend hundreds of ££ more than the rest of us do over the primary school years.

Oh, but I’m more worried they are teaching them their are aliens out there 😂

For a start, our school gives a lot of notice of this sort of thing. Then, there's not actually any pressure - some kids (like my oldest) never like costumes, so they never do it at all. Finally, we have a mix of home-made and bought, and they reflect that in the 'best dressed' prizes - there's one for bought costumes, and one for home-made ones (but again, it's all done in a friendly manner, no-one feels like they're missing out)

Well, clearly it's up you what you prioritise, and for fear of repeating my earlier comment we will leave it there.

@Yesnosorryplease speaking from my/DC perspective, the learning experience was definitely in terms of creativity - both in imagination and in actually doing it. Of course I helped but I certainly didn't do it for him. DS still remembers making things together as a child.

Some people always does this, I bet he looked great and I'm sure he had fun making it. That's awesome the school has some bits for children who's parents have done nought.

Suggest for next time they make the costumes as their art class.

Whatever schools do it would be wrong, people will always find things to complain about

Should be home made, don't have time so buy then the home made people cry 'it has to be home made' then people complain as 'it's just another thing I have to organise' then they forget so their child gets up 'now my child is crying they need to ban it'

Is anyone happy ever?

But the dressing up isn't the learning experience is it?

So either they make it in school so that they all do the art part, or they mandate it has to be homemade and risk some kids not doing it/some parents having a meltdown (me)

But there's no need to keep having topic days where the end result is loads of people ordering tat off Amazon.

I'm sorry, but YABU. I agree that in an ideal world it would be really nice if every parent spent lots of time with their child crafting a costume from scratch. But plenty of parents just don't have a clue where to start with that sort of thing - and not all kids are particularly interested in getting involved in making things, either. You are lucky that you and your son had fun together working on this and that you had the time and the creative brain for it. But not everyone does, and that doesn't make them a worse parent than you and it isn't really any of your business.

Not everyone can get to grips with the Blue Peter approach of making something out of a cereal packet and a yogurt pot. Plus, I know from friends who actually are very creative that they often end up having to spend more money to make a costume than they do to buy something from eBay. People don't necessarily have lots craft materials sitting at home ready to use. There's only so much you can do with a packet of kids' felt-tips, some printer paper and a Pritt stick.

Also, not all the costumes you saw would have been bought new anyway. Plenty will have been in the cupboard ever since the last fancy dress party/Halloween/previous dress-up day at school that the kids went to, or that their older siblings or cousins or neighbours went to.

Ultimately, it's not as if other parents bought costumes to be competitive or to spite your child, so being 'peeved' is a very unreasonable reaction.