Alien/space creature day at school

[VGY3]

We were informed a few weeks ago that school is doing it today. The memo was to 'be creative' and 'make' something to come to school in.. as an alien or space creature.

Me and DS worked together to make his. He was proud as punch and excited to show his friends.. until we got to school and saw that most of the other children in the class were in shop bought (proper) costumes. He then felt "silly" about his costume not being a "real one" and didn't want to wear it anymore.

I know people can be pushed for time, I am too, 3 kids and work ft, but we've had weeks. How hard is it to stick some googly eyes on a piece of card?

There was some hand made ones available in the class for children who's parents didn't participate, so nobody would feel left out. There was no need to go out and splurge on pricy costumes.

AIBU to feel a bit peeved?

The thing that annoys me is that parents have spent loads of money on synthetic (plastic) junk, for some ridiculous theme day at school. The world (and the health of our children and their environment) needs a lot less of that sort of thing. The school should've predicted what would happen and not done the silly dress up thing in the first place.

@CammyChameleon why is arts and crafts a waste of time/money?
It's skills being learned.
@lostonmars that's the point - it's not meant to look professional. The child should be doing it with a bit of parental help.
Do you not help with other homework like spellings or reading?

I actually thought that this was what the thread was going to be about when I read the title!

Notice how I said SKILLS as well as time. Do you seriously think that learning a few spellings takes as long as making a full costume?

@lostonmars it doesn't need to be a "full costume".
Aliens/space = wrap child in tin foil and make a tin foil hat.

I'll go off what OP said.

@lostonmars I am not sure quite what you mean by that. I was meaning if the parents creative skills aren't up to much.
One of the best World Book Day costumes I ever saw was some tin foil stuck to cardboard shapes and then stuck to the child (Enid Blyton character - I forget the name). A simple easy to make costume.

My kids are in the older years of primary so don't seem to do dress up much, thank god. I think the school have cut back in general on this kind of thing which I'm very grateful for.

I'm a single mum, I work full time in a demanding job, I have a lot on my plate in doing every single school drop off, every packed lunch, every meal, every load of washing and every household chore. As well as dealing with any household issues and all the life admin for the three of us.

I wouldn't appreciate yet more expectation being put on me to be making costumes and I have little mental or physical energy to do so.

This always happens with dress up days at school, no point in getting peeved about it! Hopefully your little one had fun making his costume and it was something nice you did together. Give yourself a pat on the back for making the effort and don't worry what others are doing!

I would have forgotten it was alien day op altogether so 🤷‍♀️

His feelings are valid. Children are sensitive to being different.
Perhaps you can talk around times when you were a child and also felt different. But his reaction is completely normal. Blaming other parents won’t make him feel another way.

Having big feelings is part of growing up and you have a chance to show him how to work through them.

Maybe they didn't have the time or materials?
As a lone parent myself this was just another unnecessary chore to add to the already relentless list. I'm so glad my kids are older and out of school now, it felt like a full time job just trying to keep up with all their school stuff.

1971, I was in the school fete fancy dress costume as a daisy 'flower girl' DGM made my costume, I looked like a giant daisy, complete with petals.
I came second to a North American Tribal girl. ..in a bought costume, it was very obvious. DGM was fuming. She held on to that for years! 🤣

Well when other people’s lack of effort, disregard of the brief and rampant consumerism results in her child being unhappy and made to think his home made costume is shit I think she has every right to care what other parents did.

Saucepan man from Faraway Tree.

So all parents have to do homemade to prevent one child that is precious about it from being unhappy? Maybe all those other kids would be unhappy in homemade costumes? Is that ok, as long as OP's child is happy?

She needs to focus on her own child not the rest of the class.

Well when other people’s lack of effort, disregard of the brief and rampant consumerism results in her child being unhappy and made to think his home made costume is shit I think she has every right to care what other parents did.

You have no idea of other people's circumstances @Heather37231. Don't accuse them of 'lack of effort' when you have no idea of the effort they may be making on a daily basis. I have to put in the effort of two parents to do everything for my kids, whilst working a stressful full time job, having health concerns etc. I'm never impressed when schools make requests like these and am glad mine has cut back on it.

Christ. This is me focusing on my child, as the whole thing is about how my child feels.

My child was NOT being precious, how dare you? His reaction is perfectly proportionate for a child of 4.

Her son's feelings are for OP to manage. It's hard enough for parents to ration their resources (i.e. time and money!) for their own DC, I don't think they need to factor in other DC's disappointment as well.

Part of the issue is the widespread availability of “shop bought” costumes. You couldn’t buy much more than a witch’s hat when I was a kid in the eighties and everybody’s costume was home made. (I bet the North American Tribal costume mentioned by pp from 1971 was brought back by some relative from America).

I refuse to spend a penny on shop bought costumes, it’s obscene to me. There are loads of ideas online for adapting things from clothes or household stuff the family already has, with no sewing. Anyone can Google, just as quickly as they can find a costume for sale online.

And any child who dares bully another about their costume should be dealt with very severely by the school.

I really feel for your child OP. And for you.

It would absolutely be because it isn't a priority to me unless my DC had an idea and insisted it be homemade but more likely, it would be bought. Funnily enough, my choices aren't going to revolve around what may or may not make a random child in the class happy.

I know they made no effort to read and follow the rules set by the school. Don’t really care about what other effort they’re putting in elsewhere.

Do these parents also just hand in whatever homework they fancy their kid doing, instead of what the school actually sets?

Factor in other DC's disappointment? Or just following the instruction set by the school which was to make something.

Buying a costume undermines the whole purpose which was to be creative.

If you haven't got the time or finances to make something then fine, that's not a problem, school provided hand made things for children in those circumstances.

YANBU and please tell me what space creature you went for 👏

@Heather37231 yes that was the character 🙂