Alien/space creature day at school

[VGY3]

We were informed a few weeks ago that school is doing it today. The memo was to 'be creative' and 'make' something to come to school in.. as an alien or space creature.

Me and DS worked together to make his. He was proud as punch and excited to show his friends.. until we got to school and saw that most of the other children in the class were in shop bought (proper) costumes. He then felt "silly" about his costume not being a "real one" and didn't want to wear it anymore.

I know people can be pushed for time, I am too, 3 kids and work ft, but we've had weeks. How hard is it to stick some googly eyes on a piece of card?

There was some hand made ones available in the class for children who's parents didn't participate, so nobody would feel left out. There was no need to go out and splurge on pricy costumes.

AIBU to feel a bit peeved?

I can understand why OP's child is disappointed and how that has also disappointed OP but I don't understand why OP seems to be taking it all so seriously in the first place which has led to much of the disappointment.

I also would've expected some bought costumes too despite the 'rules' but maybe that's just because I'd be one of the 'guilty' ones.

I was thinking more along the lines of saying please and thank you, holding open doors, giving up your seat for a person who needs it more, not interrupting- you know, general rules of society? Things that some people choose not to observe because they are selfish or cba. Not the law.

Those aren't 'rules'- they are basic manners, which vary massively amongst society. Some people are polite. Some people are rude. The things you have listed are however things that affect other people. Choosing to buy a costume rather than make one does not affect anyone else and is not rude or bad mannered, in my opinion.

Honestly I was astounded our school didn't provide costumes. They do the same nativity with the same characters, same size kids, year after year - they should have a box of costumes. And yet every year parents need to buy their own costumes. Ridiculously wasteful and shows a lack of community spirit.

This too.

There's a difference between actual homework for a child and an extra chore for the parent. A homemade costume request would be considered the latter for me.

Oh and OP I'm sure your DS wasn't feeling upset or uncomfortable all day - teachers aren't idiots and I'm sure your son's made a big fuss of his costume and then distracted him.

Our school used to do costumes for WBD but stopped quite a few years ago now! I'm not sure if this was due to parent suggestion or a very sensible teacher but I'm grateful, whichever it was.

@SouthLondonMum22 I don't think the OP is taking it that seriously, I mean she hasn't proposed to take any action, and it hasn't as far as I know triggered any deep depression, or weeks and weeks or tears. But a feeling of having your efforts go unappreciated, whilst part and parcel of being a parent can hurt our feelings. Given that most of the people she speaks to are probably either those who went out and bought an alien suit, or are pally with those that did, I think its fair enough to come onto a parenting forum for some discussion and advice about her feelings. I'm disappointed that OP is being made to feel that her private feelings are invalid.

I don't think I've taken it all so seriously at all.

I wasn't scouring the four corners of the world for one of a kind supplies or staying up into the small hours making sure it was perfect.

It was a fun activity that my DS was excited about and wanted to do, so we did it.

I was merely disappointed that DS ended up feeling sad about his costume when actually he'd followed the rules of the task and done a fab job.

Expectations will be managed in future but please don't imply I'm overreacting, I've barely reacted at all. I'm not storming into the school or moaning to other parents at the gates.

I hope so. It would make his day if somebody told him they liked his costume.

I'm sure the teachers made a big fuss of him. Hopefully his disappointment was very short lived.

Of course I was. My mum then would've said 'What are you crying for, you loved your costume a minute ago. Don't concentrate on what other people have got, think about yourself'.

It's also what you should've said, instead of validating your child's irrational reaction.

It absolutely did affect OP’s child. That is the whole point of her post. You burying your head in the sand about it does not mean it did not happen. You are proving my point actually- it is thoughtless to decide which rules you will follow and which you will ignore, without considering the impact on others.

You have absolutely no idea what I did or didn't say to my child, you weren't there and I haven't specified.

@VGY3 how did he get on today? I really hope he perked up and enjoyed it, and that he had nice comments from his friends.

Homework comparison doesn't work - this is homework FOR THE MOTHER - unless your five year old is making their own costume. Fuck that shit, frankly.

Anyway - I have the perfect solution. Not wasteful, works for sensory issues, nae bother and limited costs. Here it is: whatever the theme, find a vaguely relevant T-shirt or pj top your kid will be willing to wear again. Alien day? T-shirt with an alien or spaceship on.

That's it. You're done.

We don't need to know what you said in the moment because we can see the messages you've left throughout this thread. You absolutely validated your child's reaction (which I think was a mistake) and left with a sense that your child had been slighted, which is misguided.

Validated my child's reaction here yes.

There was no time to discuss and validate anything at the point of dropping him to his class and seeing everybody else's costumes.

Much better than I expected, thank you for asking. He had a good day. Thankfully a 0couple of his friends arrived in hand-made costumes after us and his teacher said he looked great which made him v happy 🙂

I thought he would 😁 very glad to hear it!

Haha we had this with the Easter bonnet . We went ALL OUT making it for my daughter and we even stayed up after she had gone to bed to perfect it, it looked hideous but cute. When we got to school everyone had straw hats from Amazon (we had seen them and thought that no one would buy them so decided to make ourselves). My DD was mortified 😂. I didn't think I was better than anyone else tho, like your post kind of implies. I just thought we were idiots for going the whole hog when we could have got Amazon prime to deliver next day

I wish they'd stop these dress up days.
More pressure on parents.
Not every child likes dressing up either, mine hated it, usually didn't want to go to school that day. Sigh.

It's not helped by the fact that our school usually gives about 2 minutes notice of course 😅

They could make an alien face mask at school. No need for costumes and expense.

OP, no one wins on these days, I used to hate them as a child as a) my parents didn't have the time or skill to make me a cool costume and b) also no money to buy me something cool....so I ended up with something cheap and mediocre. A handful of kids would have an expensive costume and a few had wonderful homemade ones. Most kids were somewhere in between. It's one of many instances where kids learn other kids have more money. He'll survive.

Firstly, you don't know that they bought it specifically - for example I currently have both an alien outfit and spaceman costume in my dressing up box (the Alien one was from a nativity years ago - the nursery sent an amazon link to a suggested suitable option!).

And if I didn't, I might think it would be better to get something that might be reused in future, rather than making something shit that goes straight in the bin.

In reality, I have one child who would probably design a costume and make it himself out of scrap paper and cellotape. And other who would hate to go to school in a costume of any kind, particularly something embarrassingly home made.