Alien/space creature day at school

[VGY3]

We were informed a few weeks ago that school is doing it today. The memo was to 'be creative' and 'make' something to come to school in.. as an alien or space creature.

Me and DS worked together to make his. He was proud as punch and excited to show his friends.. until we got to school and saw that most of the other children in the class were in shop bought (proper) costumes. He then felt "silly" about his costume not being a "real one" and didn't want to wear it anymore.

I know people can be pushed for time, I am too, 3 kids and work ft, but we've had weeks. How hard is it to stick some googly eyes on a piece of card?

There was some hand made ones available in the class for children who's parents didn't participate, so nobody would feel left out. There was no need to go out and splurge on pricy costumes.

AIBU to feel a bit peeved?

So OP has to teach her child to have the expectation that the school will set rules for costume days and other parents will completely ignore those rules?

Erm, yes. It's the way the whole of society works! Some folks follow the rules and others don't - but it's for us to be happy and content with what WE've done and to maybe understand it doesn't matter so much what other's are doing.

If nothing else, this could be one thing to be learned out of fucking dress up days.

Well they don't? The whole premise of your post is made up - there's no indication that anyone here is doing all (or any) of those things. You're the only person who has brought it up.

I think it's called a false dichotomy - someone correct me if I'm wrong. It's been a long time since my English GCSE.

Really? Because they're already doing all the other shit you listed and don't see the value in the craft. Some DC will love it, some won't care and even if the parent is willing it'll be like pulling teeth. Some parents will have time for crafting this month but not next month. Some will have the budget next month but not this month.

Everything we do has an opportunity cost and crafting with an unwilling child would be something I would give up in a heartbeat to achieve the other things you've listed.

I can't imagine the teachers care either as long as the parents are typically engaged with their DC's education.

Weird. Where do you draw the line about rules that you can just ignore and actual rules that make society function properly?

That was for if the child came with no costume at all. I imagine they wouldn't have had lots of spares and some children may want to pick their own costume.

Definitely long before school dress up days.

She doesn't have to teach them anything more than 'you're being silly, why are you upset?' OP acknowledging her child is right to be upset only serves to reinforce the child's idea that their own work/ costume is rubbish.

@ColleenDonaghy yes they don't see the value. It's a shame that the creative side of education isn't valued.
@ClaudiaWankleman I am just going by the million different threads I read on Mumsnet about children and how many hours of homework they should be doing, their clubs and activities, doing "family time" with their parents, the pressure of "passing" their SATS etc.
But god forbid their parents should help and encourage a bit of time with some cardboard and glue.

Weird. Where do you draw the line about rules that you can just ignore and actual rules that make society function properly?

Yes, so important, I've always thought that buying a costume for a reception class dress up day rather than hand making one as specified by the school is akin to drink-driving or burglary

Heather37231 · Today 14:47

Weird. Where do you draw the line about rules that you can just ignore and actual rules that make society function properly?

I don't teach my child they can chose which rules to ignore. I help them understand that it's not their burden when others don't. That was the point.

Yes, telling children that they are silly to feel genuine emotions, that is the way to do it.

You're missing the point.

Would you encourage your child to use a calculator for mathematics just because it saves time and effort?

It is. Imagine if your parents had done it. You'd be reacting reasonably like the rest of us.

Quite!

It's actually considered emotional abuse to minimise and invalidate a child's, very reasonable, feelings.

Were you not cuddled when you cried?

I think you can't "win" at this tbh. Obviously it's tough when it's you child and they feel uncomfortable or 'othered' in this way but that's life sometimes.

I had this experience for our Christmas play where people had bought really elaborate costumes and I'd repurposed an, albeit shop bought, costume to make it fit the theme. My son stood out a bit but he was oblivious. The daft thing is I had complaints from parents that they had to spend so much on the costumes. So as I said, you really can't please everyone.

Maybe you have a point, but we are where we are, and aren't able to change this now. Can't you at least see why OP is a bit disappointed? I'm sure she is teaching her child to be robust and accept disappointments, and no one, least of all OP is suggesting that she should complain to the school, remonstrate with other parents or whatever. She is just asking whether she is BU to sit there, with a cuppa and feel a bit crap about how her amazing efforts went unappreciated and left her child upset, despite a great effort to give them a great day, being the best mum she could be.

The posters going on about school rules, busy jobs and so on are really missing the point. Even if you think OP is a bit too keen and a bit of a mug, at least have some sympathy for someone who tried hard and (definitely not my opinion) got it wrong? That is what this post is about.

I'll definitely be drawing from this experience come world book day 😄

• *Luckily school provided all of the costumes for the nativity. I was surprised to read that many schools don't.

VGY3 - Would you encourage your child to use a calculator for mathematics just because it saves time and effort?

Isn't it more pertinent to the nuance of your thread to think how to help your child manage knowing that some will use a calculator to save time and effort? And what the downfall of that is.

It's better to teach them to accept that not much that they encounter in life is going to be fair. It's more important to help them chose what they're going to do and do it happily.

No. Because I value numeracy skills far more than crafting. If others disagree then that's up to them, and more power to them, that's their call.

World Book Day is the worst. I'm sure we can all agree on that.

Amen!

No I'm really not missing the point, I just find people who can't see the difference, or at least pretend not to see the difference between actual laws and rules, to small requests from the school that are actually of very little consequence, incredibly tiresome.

And no, I wouldn't suggest they use a calculator because it's easier- when they have asked him I have told them that they need to know how to do maths properly and that education is important. Having to make a costume adds another task to my list of chores as a parent though, it's different.

I was thinking more along the lines of saying please and thank you, holding open doors, giving up your seat for a person who needs it more, not interrupting- you know, general rules of society? Things that some people choose not to observe because they are selfish or cba. Not the law.

Our school doesn't do dress up (phone initially wrote stress up, showing how in sync we are) for WBD! It's amazing. They actually just... Bring in their favourite book. And talk about the book. WBD is about books, revolutionary