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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not to ring my mum if she doesn't ring me?

128 replies

whathappening · 08/02/2024 09:37

I can see this is going to sound petty but hear me out.
I live quite far from my family and usually visit every 3 or 4 months.
Up until recently either I would call my mum or she'd call me at least once a week.
I noticed we hadn't spoken for a couple of weeks so I rang and we chatted and everything was fine, this happened a few weeks in a row so I left it and thought I'd wait for her to call me as it's always me ringing lately, anyway she didn't so I called her again and now it's been well over a week and she's not called.
Do I just keep calling her to maintain contact or do I leave it knowing she may never ring me again?
It feels very one sided and I had always thought we were very close.
When I do speak to her we get along really well and have a lovely chat, I just don't know why the calls have become less frequent and only if I ring her now.

OP posts:
lifeispainauchocolat · 09/02/2024 13:57

It may not be that a mother cannot be bothered to get in touch, but may simply be trying to do the right thing, or, more likely, not do the wrong thing.

I'm not sure I buy this as a reason.

If you don't want to disturb or are worried about your child being busy, then you can text and ask if it's a good time, or to arrange a suitable time to call.

It shouldn't all be left to one person to get in touch all the time. It takes a matter of seconds to pick up the phone or send a message to show you care.

boonr · 09/02/2024 14:00

Perhaps she thinks you're busy with work etc and doesn't want to pester you?

If she's been a good Mum otherwise, I would let this go and continue to ring each week.

TorroFerney · 09/02/2024 19:29

Mischance · 09/02/2024 10:49

Is it?

Yes, if it’s not because they don’t want to disturb you but because actually you are of absolutely no interest to them then yes it is.

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