11 plus exam - Daughter’s friend admitted to cheating

[Covgirl1111]

Hi all,

Hope you can help with some opinions as this is swimming round in my head.
Sorry it’s long - I’ve tried to keep in all important details.

About half the kids in my daughter’s school year recently sat the 11plus exam at the big local private school. Out of about 170 kids who took the exam (in total from lots of local schools) 20 were invited back for a scholarship assessment day as they had done well in the exam.
My daughter (DD) was invited, as was her very good friend (VGF) and another boy in their class.
On the day of the assessment VGF was ill so couldn’t attend.
The assessment day consisted of a few different classes where the children were watched and their contribution was assessed. Then they all had individual interviews with the head mistress.
As VGF couldn’t attend the day she was offered the online assessment. She told my daughter what that consisted of which was some online tests, then a zoom interview with the head.
My daughter didn’t get the scholarship, nor did the other boy from their class.
However, VGF got offered an academic scholarship. My daughter was with her over the weekend and she told my daughter she had used her calculator and phone in the test - obviously completely not allowed but no one was monitoring her. She did the test in her bedroom and her mum was downstairs.
I don’t really know how to feel about this.
We’ve chosen another school - sort of off the back of her not getting the scholarship. The other boy who didn’t get it cannot now apply for a bursary which they need to attend the school as you ned to get a scholarship to qualify for a bursary.
I’m not saying my daughter or this other boy would have got it. VGF may have got it from the interview or god knows what else - who knows how they choose these things.
But I feel this is so unfair. For a start, they weren’t on level playing fields. Some kids may have fared far better sitting an online test than in a classroom environment.
I’m good friends with VGFs parents - they’re lovely.
My daughter is now trying to back track and say maybe VGF was joking about using her phone. I think she’s scared I’m going to say something.
There’s no doubt about it, to say something would cause a big fallout somewhere along the line.
And VGF would I’m sure deny it and how could anyone prove either way.

I just really wanted to offload and get some opinions.

Thanks for listening

It also seems like a very odd test for the end stage of a scholarship process, so they’ve got an 11+ test and then some students are invited back for a class and interview. But the alternative to the class are what sounds like basic questions that can easily be googled or done on a calculator.

Surely they would be looking for something that more mimicks the class discussions, like an essay or debate topics etc?

I’m not sure if you’ve read the OP. It’s about a girl cheating - it’s not a debate about private schools. Please start another thread about that.

it’s fine to be triggered - sorry you don’t like that term but bringing your pain to a completely unrelated subject is exactly what that is.

Yep, seems very strange. All I can think is that they were just not set up for someone being ill on the assessment day.
But surely you would think they had come across it before and been prepared.

im Just adding more to the story as people are bringing up more points. It’s very difficult to add in all the nuances to the story.
if it seems like I’m being defensive it’s really because a few people are focussing on things that are jot really part of the discussion.

im trying to answer people’s questions.
i know what I’m going to do, and we’re happy with it.
it was really just a venting session but I forgot I was on mumsnet. It’s like the Salem witch trials!!

It’s just bizarre as the assessment day really isn’t about more exams. She’d have been better to have come in for an in person interview when better and sat the couple of exams then. Zoom on the day seems unnecessary and won’t give an idea if the person. They already have the 11+ results.

It does seem very unfair, but I wonder if VGF was already their preferred candidate, hence favouring her? I guess you will never know but I understand OP, I would be pissed off too. But like you, I wouldn't do anything about it.

Kids do silly shit sometimes…perhaps your daughter made it up to rationalise why her pal got in and she didn’t. It all works out in the end.

i am a teacher and remember a child insisting she didn’t do what he was accused of. His mother insisted on meeting me to explain why her child didn’t do said silly thing and couldn’t have done it and would never lie about it. Boy promised, and cried that he hadn’t done it.

Wider family was drawn into the whole issue of child being accused by mean teacher. It really got WAY bigger than it needed to be. In the end I said OK, let’s leave it, insisting that if he’d done it all the fuss about it would have been punishment enough.

Fair dues to the mum for contacting me weeks later to tell me he’d fessed up out of guilt and she was sorry for all the fuss etc.

Who knows what the truth is. Don’t get involved

Oh dear, op. That's an embarrassingly snarky response. Are you ok? 😂

This is frankly really confusing. You're now saying your DD had no mental arithmetic test, it was just a completely different type of challenge; classroom versus online test. In that context, your issue is with the structure. Whether or not the other kid used a calculator in a test your DD didn't have to do is a bit like complaining that someone cheated in tennis while your DD was playing badminton - entirely irrelevant!

If the assessment day was in person participating in classes and no exams then it’s just completely bizarre that the other girl’s assessment would be an online exam. I think there’s been some confusion- maybe it was an interview and she googled something in it. Why would they prepare a separate exam for her to do online?

I suspect the OP is just pissed that someone has done better than her precious one and I’m pretty sure it would have been called ‘using initiative’ if it had been the other way round 😂

Due to my profession, I’m also pretty sure that the test wasn’t unsupervised and if it was, the results didn’t feature heavily in the decision making. Schools aren’t stupid.

I expect the vgf was a shoe in for the scholarship anyway, as I doubt they’d have been allowed a second chance if they weren’t.

All in all, get some new grapes. Yours have gone sour.

Hardly irrelevant.

20 kids sitting in a classroom being ‘assessed’ compared to an online test where potentially a phone was used to get higher marks.

The weird disparity between the 2 evaluations is one issue. The fact she was able to essentially ‘cheat’ (if what she said was true) with a phone is another

She was possibly lying. For some reason some kids don't like admitting they've done well/are clever. It's the whole putting themselves down thing.

Or she isn't lying and she used a calculator. If the school haven't invigilated the exam properly then that's on them, perhaps they don't care if she used a calculator

You don't know if she used a phone or if she's just being a kid and saying she did for whatever reason. Get over it. Life isn't fair.

Ok, that seems a little unkind

Just trying to meet hate with love ❤️

I would stay out of it, VGF may have been lying about cheating or your dd maybe lying or exaggerating. There’s no proof anything happened. If she did cheat it will probably catch up with her eventually when she struggles to meet targets at school.

😂😂 good one.

There is no hate, op. You seem rather fragile?

She’s not fragile. She’s livid that someone has got something her child hasn’t. And shocked because normally money buys you what you want. It isn’t about the ‘cheating’ at all.

I’ve met loads of parents like this before.

Just re read what you said and think if someone was saying that to someone you loved would you think it was ok?

❤️

You’re being a bit silly now OP.