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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To warn you to never spray orange-scented perfume on your pubes?

209 replies

JFDIYOLO · 06/02/2024 08:12

It's l'Orangerie by Saltworks Perfumery

I shall be taking no further questions at this difficult time

😳

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Ketzele · 06/02/2024 22:54

Many aeons ago, when I was young and innocent, I got thrush and my mum recommended putting a whole peeled garlic clove up my foof.

Do NOT do this.

Not only did it sting like France, I also exuded enticing garlic vag fumes for days.

Worst thing was, my mum has always hotly denied her part in this: "I would never tell you to do something so totally stupid!"

Jillybloop393 · 07/02/2024 00:45

Ketzele · 06/02/2024 22:54

Many aeons ago, when I was young and innocent, I got thrush and my mum recommended putting a whole peeled garlic clove up my foof.

Do NOT do this.

Not only did it sting like France, I also exuded enticing garlic vag fumes for days.

Worst thing was, my mum has always hotly denied her part in this: "I would never tell you to do something so totally stupid!"

Snorted wine when I read this. Not good. Mind you, neither is sticking a garlic clove up your foof!! Pmsl!!

darkmodeera · 07/02/2024 01:35

I thought we all learn that lesson as teenagers🤣

SheSaidHummingbird · 07/02/2024 02:03

JFDIYOLO · 06/02/2024 12:14

Cracking up laughing over here ...

So how did it actually feel? Well, not actual pain, just a sort of rather ominous and site-specific warmth. The sort that could develop into something so very much worse, judging by some of these stories. But faded after an hour or so.

Incidentally if you're looking for an orangey scent, it's pretty good.

To those quivering to know why did I do it? I was OF COURSE doing it in the spirit of scientific enquiry - does it alter the result if sprayed there?? Body chemistry etc.

And as to where this might have come from? Yes!!!! This was definitely a Jilly Cooper thing. I remember the stickybush episode.

Any further enquiries should be directed via my psychiatrist, and quite possibly my solicitor ...

I look forward to your subsequent threads.

For science.

montysma1 · 07/02/2024 02:06

Mammillaria · 06/02/2024 08:24

My thoughts at this difficult time.

I am reminded of the time we put a reed diffuser in the downstairs loo and the reed diffuser came into contact with the spare loo roll and the spare loo roll absorbed all the perfume oil from the diffuser and I didn't notice and wiped myself with it...

Our reed diffuser liquid came into contact with the windowsill and dissolved the paint. I can only imagine what it did to your under carriage😳

JanglingJack · 07/02/2024 02:08

PrawnDumplings · 06/02/2024 08:43

Thoughts & payers x

🤣🤣🤣

It's Only Fans for the Zesty lovers.

Whatever happened to Zest soap. No need for perfume with that!

Oh I'm laughing OP, you wally!

JanglingJack · 07/02/2024 02:11

AmytheDancingBrick · 06/02/2024 16:21

Green dettol does not work well as a mouthwash - I could taste it for days.

I no longer store dettol next to the mouthwash.

I know longer keep the germolene next to the toothpaste 🙄🤣

HangingOver · 07/02/2024 02:14

I think back in the early 70s it was (think I recall someone in an early Jilly Cooper book spraying eau de toilette down her knickers)

Literally came here to say this. It was always Anaïs Anaïs on the ol' bush in them days

JanglingJack · 07/02/2024 02:24

My ex and I in the heady days of shagging whenever...
He'd cooked dinner... Let's go shag...

Ohh ooh? Argh? Aaarhh!!! Fucking don't touch me!!!

Yep, he'd been chopping chillies. Most painful fingering of my life.
Of course he thought I was screaming in pleasure 🤣 could have punched the twat! Both of them!

HangingOver · 07/02/2024 02:25

Oh god this has just brought back memories of me and my bestie at university when we were pissed as two pissed things and decided to conduct an experiment with that lip plumping gloss that was basically deep heat and made your lips temporarily swell up. I can't say I recommend it but it was very funny.

JanglingJack · 07/02/2024 02:26

FetchezLaVache · 06/02/2024 10:50

Yeah, she ended up with a lemony snicket.

I'll show myself out.

Show quote history

Perfect.

Tatonka · 07/02/2024 02:27

I'm so glad to hear some people still have pubes, thought I was the only one!

CheeseSandwichRiskAssessment · 07/02/2024 02:27

Seems like we've all been there with the shower gel...only once though !

HangingOver · 07/02/2024 02:28

JanglingJack

That happened to me and DP except it was him that had the ill affects, having recently eaten a mexican pizza bread thing. I asked what was wrong and he looked alarmed, terrified and uncomfortable and with sad recognition said "Jala-penis". Which I thought was very witty under the circs.

JanglingJack · 07/02/2024 02:31

HangingOver · 07/02/2024 02:28

JanglingJack

That happened to me and DP except it was him that had the ill affects, having recently eaten a mexican pizza bread thing. I asked what was wrong and he looked alarmed, terrified and uncomfortable and with sad recognition said "Jala-penis". Which I thought was very witty under the circs.

🤣

That's very good your DP! Halapenis!! 🤣

I hope you quickly YouTubed a Mariachi band so he could dance around crying.

Klcak · 07/02/2024 02:32

I’ll go one further and advise you to never ever spray anything on your pubes - ever ever ever!

HangingOver · 07/02/2024 02:46

I hope you quickly YouTubed a Mariachi band so he could dance around crying

Oh damn, that would have been unbelievably funny

JanglingJack · 07/02/2024 02:58

HangingOver · 07/02/2024 02:46

I hope you quickly YouTubed a Mariachi band so he could dance around crying

Oh damn, that would have been unbelievably funny

There's always another chance 😉🤣

Needhelp101 · 07/02/2024 07:08

Every time I think this thread can't get better, it does!

effoffwind · 07/02/2024 07:42

Needhelp101 · 07/02/2024 07:08

Every time I think this thread can't get better, it does!

I agree ! So much nicer than the usual sniping poe faced key board warriors spreading doom and gloom like Nutella !

PerkingFaintly · 07/02/2024 10:29

To those quivering to know why did I do it? I was OF COURSE doing it in the spirit of scientific enquiry

You're clearly related to the MNer who swallowed the lego piece.

Tilllly · 07/02/2024 12:07

PerkingFaintly · 07/02/2024 10:29

To those quivering to know why did I do it? I was OF COURSE doing it in the spirit of scientific enquiry

You're clearly related to the MNer who swallowed the lego piece.

What?!
Missed that one

PerkingFaintly · 07/02/2024 12:28

Ah, I think alas the thread was in Chat, back in the days when those were automatically deleted after a while.

A MNer had diarrhoea.

Being the good scientist that she was, she wondered what effect this was having on speed of transition through her digestive system.

Also being the good scientist that she was, and a MNer, she swallowed a yellow lego head, to time it.

Being a good MNer, she came here to share this fact with us all.Grin

We were all grateful, and her joined in her wait for the reappearance of the lego piece.GrinGrin

Reader, she never found it.ShockShockShock

But she was known forever after as The Mumsnetter Who Swallowed The Lego Piece.

Tilllly · 07/02/2024 12:49

That's hilarious 🤣

mitogoshi · 07/02/2024 13:14

Always wash your hands twice after prepping chillis Blush. All I can say is ouch