To feel annoyed?

[Serrates]

I’m poorly and DH has come home from work wanting dinner, and I’m too unwell to cook. So I said there’s leftovers from last night - but there’s only enough for one person. He said what will you have for dinner then? And I said I’m too poorly to cook, so either you have leftovers and I have nothing, or we both have nothing. So he’s just eaten the leftovers and sat down in front of the tv.

I’m not sure why I feel so annoyed. I mean I told him to eat the leftovers. I just feel really annoyed that he has absolutely zero concern about the fact there’s nothing for me to eat.

YABU for not insisting on the third option - he cooks for one / both of you.

or of course the fourth - he goes without.

How are you not sure why you are annoyed? Isn't it obvious?

Why didnt he cook for you? Why did you not consider that an option?

I mean I told him to eat the leftovers because I can’t be bothered to cook him anything. But now he’s done it I feel annoyed, even though I told him to do it.

I haven’t been shopping because I’m so poorly. So there isn’t anything for him to cook. The only food is a portion of leftovers enough for one person (the kids had a pizza at their gran’s house earlier).

Then yeah YABU. You said either he eats the leftovers or he eats nothing, and that either way you will have nothing. You didn’t even present him leaving the leftovers to you, or asking you to cook. And you are unwell so it’s not daft to think you don’t want any food.

If one portion of leftovers is literally the only thing to eat in your house, even though you have kids, there must be something else wrong here?

I assume you are annoyed because you wanted him to look after you.
Fair enough, you are not well and that's horrid.
Unfortunately some people need to be told - e.g "I'm not feeling well. I know you've been at work, but please can you make me something light and sort yourself out. Thank you, I really appreciate it".
Get well soon OP.

Why didn't you share?!
Even the smallest portion can be shared!
This is so weird...

Yeah it's weird. Even a bowl of cereal is better than nothing

Other options for the future are text him and tell him to pick something up on his way home, or if desperate you could have asked the kids gran to grab something when you collected the kids/she dropped them off. I imagine your husband is probably useless but you need to look out for yourself too. If you didn’t say you wanted the leftovers, and there is nothing else, what are you expecting?

Couldn't you share them? Is there literally nothing in the house he could cook for you both.
Also did you make it clear you wanted something to eat? He may have thought as you were ill you didn't want to eat

Tell him to pop out for a chippy tea for you.

Ask him to go to the shop.

I'd have assumed from that that you weren't hungry and didn't want to eat.

Wouldn't you have a round of toast or a bowl of cereal?

I sort of feels like you set him up to fail here OP.
Why did you not just ask him to pop to the shops and cook for you both, as you are feeling well?

He sounds inconsiderate to me

were you not able to order a takeaway?

Unbelievable is this post for real ?.... is he not capable of going to the shops? Cooking ? Or getting a takeaway

What are your children going to eat for breakfast?

How can you have no food at all in the house apart from a measly bowl of left overs?! Dont you have a freezer or cupboards? What will the family eat for breakfast?

I'd be annoyed too. He lacked the care by not thinking about your needs and asking you if you needed anything. I know you're an adult, but sometimes it's nice to be cared for and have your needs be noticed - without having to direct him to a shop/ask. I'm sure you would have anticipated his needs if it was the other way around.

Order something for yourself and rest it out. Hope you feel better soon.

It can't be for real. The OP could use their words to express themselves to their husband. The options presented were (a) he has leftovers and she has nothing, and (b) they both have nothing. If someone presented me with those options, I'd assume they didn't want to eat. It's unreasonable to say that and then be a martyr that the husband did what was asked.

It's also pretty ridiculous to imagine that there's literally no food at all. No tins of anything, nothing in the freezer, no breakfast cereal, no fruit, no bread or cake, literally nothing?