To feel annoyed?

[Serrates]

I’m poorly and DH has come home from work wanting dinner, and I’m too unwell to cook. So I said there’s leftovers from last night - but there’s only enough for one person. He said what will you have for dinner then? And I said I’m too poorly to cook, so either you have leftovers and I have nothing, or we both have nothing. So he’s just eaten the leftovers and sat down in front of the tv.

I’m not sure why I feel so annoyed. I mean I told him to eat the leftovers. I just feel really annoyed that he has absolutely zero concern about the fact there’s nothing for me to eat.

Too poorly to message him to let him know you were too unwell to make dinner but not too poorly to post on here? What the difference?

As a diabetic why don’t you keep suitable food in the house? Cans of soup etc?

His reaction if odd but is this scenario a common occurrence?

He’d be furious...
He’d just be furious about it because...
He would get angry because...
I wouldn’t be allowed to...
I...get shouted at for not doing stuff

OP please read your posts - in the gentlest way: this is not acceptable, it's not normal, it's not what you should accept from a relationship. It is not a good model for your children to observe. You deserve to be treated with respect x

So wait, this was prior to 19:30 and he couldn’t find his way to a grocery store to buy things for dinner?

Either your husband is an abusive assailed or he is exhausted and at the end of his tether?
Can you sit and have a discussion about how the two of you can run the household given your chronic illness - ie have systems in place so this situation doesn't continue to occur.
Or alternatively look to leave him.

I dont understand why he couldnt have had the take away and you the food you can eat. My dh would have jumped at the chance to order a take away i wont eat.

but also, while you say you have cupboard food but not a dinner, if the choice is between cupboard food and nothing, surely you take the cupboard food.

I imagine he’s at the end of his tether because I’ve been off work for ages and I’m constantly ill. He regularly yells at me for not doing the shopping or cooking because I’ve had a bad day and I’m in a lot of pain. I didn’t want to be yelled at again so I didn’t suggest he should shop or cook. I just gave him the leftovers from last night. If I hadn’t, he’d have yelled at me for not cooking. But now I’m annoyed because he couldn’t care less if I don’t have any dinner.

Life is too short to be yelled at by the person who is supposed to love you the most.

He sounds like a tool but you sound like a martyr.
If you're too poorly to feed yourself a cooked meal twice a week you need to get organised and have stores in that you can eat quickly and easily.
We're only reading one side here though. Could his side be "the kids are at my Mums, I have to go and get them. There's no fresh dinner but DW said I should have the leftovers, she's now huffing about it. She says she's too ill to text me but has been upstairs in bed on her phone all evening".

I'm not sure this is a legitimate post.

Yeah, no he sounds like an abusive asshole.

I did wonder the same @SapphOhNo

I assume that you cook 99% of the time hence why he was asking you what’s for dinner like a child. Instead of waiting for when you’re too poorly to cook make him pull his weight in every day life. Get him cooking multiple times a week.

Could you order an omelette from the Chinese?

Why couldn’t you have left overs and he have a takeaway?

There’s also a lot of dramatic language going on here.

Plenty of people don’t eat a proper “meal” and just eat some random bits. I had a tin of tuna, mayo and gerkin chopped up the other day. If you’re hungry a “meal” isn’t a necessity.

Frankly op your husband sounds like a complete arsehole, won't go to the shop, won't share food, won't let you defrost anything in the microwave, won't eat 'kids food' or put himself out in any way so you can actually eat something .,,I think you have much bigger problems than dinner

You wanted someone to be nice to yo7 and think about you…and it doesn’t sound like that will ever be your DH.

He won’t put himself out for me because he’d say if I hadn’t been lazy he wouldn’t have to put himself out

Best get your Tesco/Asda/Morrison order in for home delivery tomorrow OP so everyone eats.

He regularly yells at me for not doing the shopping or cooking because I’ve had a bad day and I’m in a lot of pain. I didn’t want to be yelled at again so I didn’t suggest he should shop or cook. I just gave him the leftovers from last night. If I hadn’t, he’d have yelled at me for not cooking
Well you're in an abusive relationship OP - you are ill, and going hungry because your H is aggressive towards you. What you choose to do now is up to you. I suggest contacting Women's Aid, and ending this relationship with this abusive man

And I said I’m too poorly to cook, so either you have leftovers and I have nothing, or we both have nothing.

Both your options involved you eating nothing. If my unwell DH said that, I'd assume he was too ill to eat/ had no appetite.

Lesson learnt op, always have an emergency microwave meal in the freezer

I feel like you insinuated that you didn't want anything 🤷‍♀️ which wouldn't be strange if you were that ill. You told him to eat the leftovers and he did

As my username suggests, I have fibromyalgia and some days I feel so bad I genuinely feel like I am dying. On those days when I have zero food in the fridge because I've not had the energy to order a shop, my husband will feed our kids and ensure we have what we need. He'll even put a wash on and load the dishwasher because that's what a decent partner does.

I'm sorry yours isn't like this OP, you don't deserve to be treated this way. It is tough living with someone like us I know, but he doesn't have to and it isn't fair of him to make you feel this way. You're better off without him I think.

I found a tin of soup in the cupboard and heated it up. When DH realised he yelled at me, because apparently it was his soup to take to work later in the week, so I’ve stolen his lunch.

Your husband is an arsehole