To feel annoyed?

[Serrates]

I’m poorly and DH has come home from work wanting dinner, and I’m too unwell to cook. So I said there’s leftovers from last night - but there’s only enough for one person. He said what will you have for dinner then? And I said I’m too poorly to cook, so either you have leftovers and I have nothing, or we both have nothing. So he’s just eaten the leftovers and sat down in front of the tv.

I’m not sure why I feel so annoyed. I mean I told him to eat the leftovers. I just feel really annoyed that he has absolutely zero concern about the fact there’s nothing for me to eat.

So your husband is an abusive arsehole and you should make plans to leave him.

To offer a more practical and short term solution, if you are incapacitated a minimum of twice a week and living with an abusive twat, in order to avoid the agro of having to deal with him I'm afraid you need to up your organisation game.

Do an online shop when you're feeling okay so that you have food in, and then on a day you feel okay do a load of batch cooking if food for you, so that you maintain a minimum stock of x number of freezer meals you and the kids can eat.

That way if you ever end up in a situation like now, he can have the leftovers and you can nuke a bowl of chilli with frozen cauli rice (for example).

If you don't have the freezer space do you have the space for a small chest freezer? You might be able to get one second hand or on Freecycle if you start looking.

If you do a quick online shop now (not particularly arduous, since you're on Mumsnet I assume you'd be able to manage it), get a delivery planned in for tomorrow or next day and order a good 10 tins of lord mucks soup.....the miserable bastard can choke on it!

Someone is going to have to go to the shops or order online because you have no food in your cupboards do you OP?

Put an extra tin of soup on your list and you’ll have it tomorrow.

Tbh this sounds like a load of nonsense. If your OH is abusive take steps to get you and the kids out. If he’s annoyed because you haven’t worked for a while, expect him to cook you food when he gets in from work yet there’s nothing suitable in the cupboard he can cook for you - or him, put your online order in for tomorrow.

If you can spend the evening on SM you can spend a few minutes, online, getting some food in for your family.

TBH OP he sounds like a right cunt.

Chronic illness is horrible to deal with. You need a partner who is going to look after you and nurture you, not one who shouts at you because your illness stops you functioning. You will never get back to a semblance of normality like this. I know you are knackered, but I think you need to consider your options.

All you seem to mention is how angry and furious he would be. You have bigger problems than no food left.

🤔

If this is real, you need to ignore most of this thread. People are focussed on your initial posts, from which things could be seen two ways. But now it's clear from your updates that you are in an abusive relationship. Nobody deserves to be treated the way your husband treats you. Get off Mumsnet and look up Womens Aid, or another similar local charity. You can't carry on living like this.

Come on op. This is not normal. His lunch for later in the week??? He could or you could do the shop by then. What the hell is wrong with this nasty piece of work? And you have children growing up in this environment.

You don't say what your chronic condition is that makes you ill often, but I am willing to bet symptoms improve if you can get rid of him. You can't live like this. Poor children too.

But you are not lazy, you are ill. I hope you can find support to put processes into your life to make things easier.

This is so odd. Something doesn't ring true..... Just a hunch.

Yes

OK so this happens a couple of times a week? I would be pissed off to regularly come home after a long day at work to find DH in bed, no food in the house and him not even letting me know to grab something on my way home. It would definitely cause an argument.

The way round it is to always cook extra and shave extra portions in the freezer (when you're having a good day) or have some easy to cook food in.

But, if you're saying he's abusive, then you need to get yourself and the kids out of there.

Hope you got some sleep op and feel better today

Seriously read back your posts
He's abusive, uncaring, aggressive - can you leave him?

If your chronic condition is meaning you are this ill often, what treatment are you getting? Do you need to go back to docs?

You definitely need a regular delivery of shopping and well stocked cupboards- it's dangerous to not have anything suitable available when you're diabetic

And wtf re him and the soup?! He can just get another can today

Do a small whoosh order today and get something in you can all eat

You have a wheat allergy and diabetes but nothing you could eat as a backup?
There's always two sides to a story and I'd like to hear the other side.

You show people how to treat you. In general, they will follow your example. I.e. if you don't have any concern or care for your own wellbeing then they won't either.

Why don't you have your own back here? Why treat yourself like shit? I don't get it.

This

How has this evening gone OP?

Mumsnet martyr again. If you're hungry you could have messaged him to pick something up on his way home. I'd assume you were too.poorly to eat and therefore taken you at your woed to have the leftovers. Yabu.