To feel annoyed?

[Serrates]

I’m poorly and DH has come home from work wanting dinner, and I’m too unwell to cook. So I said there’s leftovers from last night - but there’s only enough for one person. He said what will you have for dinner then? And I said I’m too poorly to cook, so either you have leftovers and I have nothing, or we both have nothing. So he’s just eaten the leftovers and sat down in front of the tv.

I’m not sure why I feel so annoyed. I mean I told him to eat the leftovers. I just feel really annoyed that he has absolutely zero concern about the fact there’s nothing for me to eat.

Op, anyone who uses the word allowed when describing a relationship is in danger.

‼️

He sounds awful - I’m a man and I wouldn’t dream of ‘kicking off’ if my wife had been poorly and asked me to go back out to the shops for food.

For context we’re also very rural (so shops aren’t just a 2 minute drive away) and I do the cooking most of the time - but when I was ill DW picked up the oven gloves and had a bloody good go at making dinner (as a partner should when the other isn’t well)

As an aside - I've never defrosted anything in my life. Straight from freezer to oven. Chickens or whatever. Just leave them in a bit longer.

You said he wouldn’t allow you to defrost meat in the microwave. My point still stands

I realise this is no help right now, but I think if I had a wheat allergy and diabetes, I would be damn sure to keep a decent-sized stock of suitable foods in the house for this kind of situation.

Honestly dinner didn’t even occur to me. I called my mum this afternoon and said can you pick up the kids and give them something to eat then drop them off later. Then I went back to sleep.

The point is flying over this thread like a big flying pointy thing (that's been thrown at DH's head)

OP, he's a controlling, selfish wanker

Stop playing mind games and just say what you want

Somehow I manage to work AND make dinner. Even pick up groceries on my way home. Even cook for my partner if he's poorly.
Wtf kind of DH do you have who won't do these things? He's a total selfish prick. Seriously OP, he doesn't care about you

I think you are rightfully annoyed although have been a bit of a martyr in the way you handled it. He sounds like a total arse with no consideration. The least he could do is pop to the shop and get you something. You are ill and so not up to it!

He sounds like a selfish twat that I would not want to spend time with. I'd want to know I was with someone that had my back in a tight corner. Not someone that knew I was sick and still expected a dinner cooked and then ate the only thing I might be able to eat myself.

I hope you feel better soon. Sorry all these people are piling on to have a go when you're already feeling shit.

He would get angry because a. He drove past the supermarket on the way home and I could have called him earlier, and b. I’ve had all day to go myself.

A large part of the problem is that my illness is chronic and he’s sick of me whinging about it and not doing stuff like housework or cooking. I suppose he’d be more supportive if it was a one off because I had the flu. In reality I have a bad day at least twice a week and get shouted at for not doing stuff. It’s easier to let him have the leftovers than to get shouted at for not cooking or shopping.

He doesn't give a toss about you or your diabetes or you being ill or going hungry - what exactly does he bring to the table? Why are you with this selfish loser?

Talk about drip feeding 🙄

So you're too poorly to call him but you can use the internet?
Why haven't one of you ordered a take away or done an online shop? You can do all those on the internet.

OP are you scared of him?

I think people are seeing this as coming across very martyr like but your subsequent posts are unsettling.

If you are too afraid to ask him to a) do the shopping, b) cook you something or c) order you something in then that is different to just not communicating those needs.

What’s with all the drip feeding?

I hope he has horrendous diarrhoea all night. Selfish fucker.

Oh ffs, he shouldn't need it spelled out to him that he should think of his partner who's ill and can't get to the shop for food, let alone cook it.

She is not being unreasonable. Any loving partner would say, let's share- or, can I get something from the shop for you.

Just stop mollycoddling these selfish men.

I can’t eat takeaway. I suppose I could have done an online shop but it didn’t occur to me, and then I’d have a pile of groceries in the hall that I don’t have the strength to put away.

Yeah it’s not me who’s mollycoddling him, he’s OPs husband. You wouldn’t find me in a relationship like this. They are both unreasonable.

Is this really the view of family that you want to teach your children? A man that gets cross at his wife for being unwell with a chronic illness and who doesn't let her defrost food?

A man who will eat the last of the leftovers leaving his unwell, diabetic wife without any food when he could just pop out to the chippy/ make pizza or do anything for himself.

Yeh but she said to eat it? He did then got cross. I think most men are very direct and women expect them to see the consequences and understand how we feel when they just don’t men are very different. Ask him to pop to the shops for you? Text him when he’s on his way back to grab what you need?

My DH would have shared the leftovers. Not a chance in the world he would eat it himself

Yours is a cunt. Can you leave him?

Right so you have a chronic illness and unwell twice a week on average where you are unable to cook. Is that right?

So either your dh is at the end of his tether working and doing all the other bits or he is abusive.

Either way its time to make a back up plan. Food wise is might be worth looking at frozen oven dinners that cam be bunged in the oven. Mil swear by Wiltshire farm foods (they do gluten free ones) and m&s. I batch cook the likes of bolo, chilli, or curry and make my own ready meals that cam easily be defrosted in microwave and they don't taste funny.

Really op this is getting worse by the update