To feel annoyed?

[Serrates]

I’m poorly and DH has come home from work wanting dinner, and I’m too unwell to cook. So I said there’s leftovers from last night - but there’s only enough for one person. He said what will you have for dinner then? And I said I’m too poorly to cook, so either you have leftovers and I have nothing, or we both have nothing. So he’s just eaten the leftovers and sat down in front of the tv.

I’m not sure why I feel so annoyed. I mean I told him to eat the leftovers. I just feel really annoyed that he has absolutely zero concern about the fact there’s nothing for me to eat.

I don’t eat takeaways because I have a wheat allergy, so he can’t just pop out and get me something. And I can’t eat just pure carbs like toast or cereal because I’m diabetic, I’m not allowed to have more than 150g of carbs per day.

No way would he go to the shop. He’s been at work all day and I haven’t. He’d be furious at any suggestion he should go to the shop, when I’ve had all day to go. He’d be equally furious if I suggested we should share and he wouldn’t have a decent meal because I couldn’t be bothered to cook.

The one portion of leftovers isn’t the only food in the house. But it’s the only dinner food if you see what I mean. There’s sweets and crisps, frozen meat and veg which I could have defrosted but I didn’t think of it earlier because I’m poorly, there’s a loaf of wheat free bread and some dried pasta, tinned sweetcorn, chickpeas, some kids junk food that I can’t eat because it contains wheat, a few bits and bobs. But nothing that would make an actual dinner.

They go to breakfast club at school.

It’s insane that you are diabetic and have an allergy that means you can’t have a take away, and yet you have absolutely no cupboard or usable freezer food in. Is your diabetes not affected by this?

Like soany threads on here a small issue is an indication of much greater relationship problems, what kind of adult can't manage to do a days work and go to a shop in the same 24 hours?

Were you having doubts about the relationship before today?

You have bigger problems than tonight’s dinner. I’ve been (slightly unreasonably) pissed off with dh recently re his lack of thought for me but nothing on this scale.

It's also pretty ridiculous to imagine that there's literally no food at all. No tins of anything, nothing in the freezer, no breakfast cereal, no fruit, no bread or cake, literally nothing?
Yes there is some food. But no meals. There’s sweets and chocolate. There’s meat and fish in the freezer but it’s frozen. There’s mini pizzas and oven chips and cereal for the kids but they contain gluten so I can’t eat them. There’s tinned veg but nothing to have it with. There’s wheat free bread but nothing to put on it, and I can’t eat more than one slice of bread anyway because I’m diabetic.

I’ve learnt that men are not mind readers. My DH would have done the same & i would be annoyed. Can you ask him to pop to the shops for you?

The problem you have, is that your husband is completely horrible, who doesn't care about you.

Normal, healthy, responses;

'I'm sorry that you feel poorly love.'
'Can I get you anything?'
'It makes more sense for you to have my dinner and I'll get myself a takeaway'

It isn't about not being a mind reader. It's about not being a selfish arsehole.

I dont think anyone needs to be a mind reader ot understand that if you eat all of the leftovers the other person goes hungry, would your husband really need that to be spelled out?

I mean freezer food isn’t usable at all, because it’s frozen. You need to think about it 12 hours in advance and get something out to defrost, and I didn’t think, because I was in bed poorly.

I do have cupboard food but not a meal. I have tinned veg, custard, pots of jelly for the kids, a fajita kit, a packet of poppadums, dried rice, a jar of pickles, etc. Not a full meal.

Diabetes wise I’ll be less affected by missing a meal than by eating a ton of pure carbs and having my blood sugar shoot up.

He could manage it. He’d just be furious about it because I’ve had all day and I haven’t gone, and he has to do everything. Plus I’d have had to call him to pop in on the way home from work, and I didn’t, because I’m poorly and I was asleep.

Furious is really not a normal reaction in this situation, does he have anger management issues?

You seem very accepting of poor treatment

1. toast
2. cereal
3. chicken nuggets
4. take away

dont be a martyr! Eat some bloody food. Next time phone DH and tell him to pick stuff up on his way home.

I can’t eat any of those things. And I didn’t call him because I’m poorly and I was asleep.

Oh come on, atleast read the OPs posts

Don’t you have a microwave to defrost something?

I do think you worded it very strange to your husband...why not tell him to shove a couple mini pizzas and oven chips in for himself instead of just saying one of you could have left overs and the other nothing. That was the only option you gave him.
Then you could eat the leftovers and him the frozen oven stuff.

He's not a partner is he OP?

I wouldn’t be allowed to defrost meat in the microwave. It ruins it and makes it taste rubbery, DH would refuse to eat it. I sometimes do it when he’s not there and he doesn’t realise, but I won’t be able to do it when he’s in the house.

@Whaleandsnail6 agree. Surely he could have had that stuff.

But like many things. It's communication.

I'm not well at all today. Kids are eating at mums, your mums. Can you grab x, I might be asleep

He won’t eat the kids food, he says it’s bland tasting and rubbish. And I can’t eat it.

Why would he be furious you haven't shopped when you're ill?

Yes you offered him the leftovers but he's clueless

You should have said he can have the freezer stuff because he can eat it and you have the leftovers

Can you order a Tesco whoosh delivery to come in the next hour?

Or some kind of gluten free takeaway?

If you are cooking it for you then you can do what you want. If your husband is this angry abusive controlling man then dinner is the least of your issues.

I can’t be bothered to cook, I’m too poorly. And DH will refuse to defrost in the microwave because it’s wrong and it ruins the food.