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Original poster

XL Bully + visitation

133 replies

Kipdfgy · 05/02/2024 16:25

Hello, posting here as I’m not sure where else to post this. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable.
My DD (10yo) sees her father once a month for a weekend, we don’t have a visitation order in place or anything like that. She has always lived with me.

Her dad has an XL bully, so far he hasn’t registered the dog as he has to pay for it..and can’t afford it at the moment. He says it’s on his list of things to do.

He lives with his mum, and she has 2 Alsatians and they are big dogs! The bully cannot be in the same room as the other dogs as they fight . So this bully spends most of its time in a bedroom. And they basically have the dogs on rotation as to when they have free roam of the house. It’s totally not fair on the dog, and although he does get walked I imagine the dog is harbouring lots of frustration.

So, quite rightly imo, I don’t want my daughter going down to the house anymore. I keep seeing deaths and injuries related to these dogs in the news and I of course want to protect my daughter and keep her out of any potential harm. I’ve had dogs before (not currently) but they’ve always been labs or small breeds.
I know any dog can be dangerous, but I was always told I was overreacting when I voiced my concerns about it the dogs.
I know for certain I am going to get a lot of abuse when I tell him why he cannot have her at the house or overnight. I don’t really care about that, what I am worried about though is him taking her there without my knowledge.

Should I report this to social services? I don’t know what to do to ensure that she can’t go there. Any help or advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

OP posts:
SisterMichaelsHabit · 05/02/2024 16:56

Another one saying ring the police and ss.

LifeExperience · 05/02/2024 16:57

Report him and stop visitation until the dog is gone.

Original poster
Kipdfgy · 05/02/2024 16:57

No of course I’m not going to allow her to go there. Please rest assured!

OP posts:
tsmainsqueeze · 05/02/2024 16:57

No way on this earth would my child set foot in that house.

Ravensky · 05/02/2024 16:59

Just imagine being in the awful position of thinking post event - "I wish I'd never let her anywhere near that dog"...

Keep her away. They're basically a loaded gun and bred to kill.

Ravensky · 05/02/2024 17:00

And yes absolutely report it, it's irresponsible not to report it.

MalcolmTuckersSwearBox · 05/02/2024 17:03

Report the dog.

He never had any intention of registering the dog and now the deadline has passed. This is a ticking time bomb of a situation and if you ignore it, you are complicit if any harm comes to another person or animal as a result of this dog. Report him to the police on 101.

RicePuddingWithCinnamon · 05/02/2024 17:03

Report him. Today.

ginasevern · 05/02/2024 17:04

Fionaville · 05/02/2024 16:45

Good God, don't send your daughter there!
The very fact that the dog is fighting other dogs in its house and spends so much time locked up in one room, tells you all you need to know about that dogs mentality. If it wasn't nuts before, it soon will be! Tell your ex that there is no way in hell your daughter is going into a house with an illegal dog.
It's illegal, I'd report it.

I think it's the mentality of the humans that ought to be questioned. Mother with 2 alsatians, son with XL Bully not registered, dogs being locked in separate rooms all the time.

I wouldn't let my child near these people. They sound feckless and scummy.

I'd also call the RSPCA.

Fionaville · 05/02/2024 17:05

ginasevern · 05/02/2024 17:04

I think it's the mentality of the humans that ought to be questioned. Mother with 2 alsatians, son with XL Bully not registered, dogs being locked in separate rooms all the time.

I wouldn't let my child near these people. They sound feckless and scummy.

I'd also call the RSPCA.

Show quote history

I agree 100% I wouldn't let my kids anywhere near that house, even when the Bully has gone.

Andthereyougo · 05/02/2024 17:07

You keep your child at home with you.
You call 101 and give all details of the dog, your ex’s address, description etc..
The rules have been put in place for a reason. I don’t want to read about your daughter in the news.

mogtheexcellent · 05/02/2024 17:07

Hes clearly not a good owner keeping the dog in the bedroom so i wouldnt trust the dog at all.

The alsations sound troublesome as well but it may be because of the other dog.

I would stop home visits.he can take your daughter out for contact.

Andthereyougo · 05/02/2024 17:08

And he visits your dd at your house.

BlusteryLake · 05/02/2024 17:10

This is precisely why we have the new legislation - so you can report illegal dogs and get action taken before they maul a child to death, as opposed to offering "thoughts and prayers at this isolated incident" afterwards. Report this irresponsible prick, and never let your child set foot in the house until it's sorted.

PurpleOrchid42 · 05/02/2024 17:11

Yes report, to the SS and the police. It's illegal.

cannaecookrisotto · 05/02/2024 17:11

No. I love dogs but absolutely no way.

Bargello · 05/02/2024 17:11

It’s really difficult, I don’t really know the dogs temperament. Although, I am aware that the dog has had fights before, the dog was injured and I asked what happened.

Right, so you know there is an unregistered XL bully in the house. You also know that your ex has no intention of registering it, exempting it, complying with the law. You now state that you don't know the dog's temperament, then contradict that in the next phrase by saying it's been in fights.

Of course you know its temperament, it's a fecking XL bully. Report your ex to the police, and absolutely keep your child out of danger by stopping contact at his house until the dog has been euthanised.

cannaecookrisotto · 05/02/2024 17:11

I mean no to her visiting whilst he has the dogs.

CharlesChickens · 05/02/2024 17:12

DrunkenElephant · 05/02/2024 16:41

Hell would freeze over before I let my child go to a house with an XL bully, never mind one that has shown aggression to other dogs and is cooped up in one room all day. It is a disaster waiting to happen.

Do not send your daughter there.

This.

Teajenny7 · 05/02/2024 17:15

I would not send my daughter there.
Even if he had registered the dog and done the requisite training.
If it was registered it doesn't have to be muzzle at home.
Keep your daughter safe.

PictureALadybird · 05/02/2024 17:16

Report the dog. It needs putting down.

I would not be sending my child there even with the other two though.

GuinnessBird · 05/02/2024 17:16

The dog needs to be reported ASAP.

Ahwig · 05/02/2024 17:21

My mother in law who was about 68 at the time had always had poodles then when her dog died she decided to get a Doberman. My husband and I popped over there and it just so happened that for once hadn't taken our son who was 2 and had loved her poodle. It was the first time we had seen this new dog and she hadn't told us the breed so we'd gone expecting another poodle. We sat on the sofa while she made us a cuppa and offered a slice of cake with it. I picked up the cake from the plate to eat it when the dog vaulted over the sofa facing me snatching the cake out of my hand as he went. We were both quite shocked but she seemed to think it was cute somehow . We left fairly quickly after that with me telling my husband that I was not happy to take our dog loving toddler son there . He agreed and told his mother that we were happy to meet elsewhere or she could come to ours but we weren't going to hers as we didn't trust the dog. She insisted we were overreacting but we stuck to our guns. 6 months later the dog went for her. It bit her and luckily it wasn't too serious but she had to get rid of the dog. Her new dog was a poodle and my son was delighted to be able to go to nanny's again and enjoyed spending time with the new dog.

Bluenotgreen · 05/02/2024 17:23

No, I wouldn’t allow DC to go there and I would report.

larkstar · 05/02/2024 17:27

@Kipdfgy What do you think social services are going to say to you when this comes to light as it surely will?

It's a safeguarding issue: you must disclose it to them at the earliest - no one is going to believe you didn't know about the situation with the dogs.

You stupidly risk everything that you claim to hold precious by delaying, withholding or doing nothing.