Irks me to see mums boasting about "childfree" nights out & "kid free weekends away"

[Bridgetjoneski]

I just find it very distasteful! I have one or two mum friends on insta & know them in real life. But at least every fortnight they have insta posts up about "kid free" night out with dh or "kid free weekend away". They are quite wealthy & both work full time, I just find it very unsavoury. Tag a dinner your hubby but no need to state the kids absense.
Is this a rising trend or just limited to the pair I know? The latest status tagging the latest dinner out was "not a child in sight"...

@PortillosPothole
Parenting is amazing. It’s also very, very hard at times.

It is perfectly possible to love your children, be an excellent and attentive parent, and also enjoy occasional time without them.

It does seem a shame for the children if they don’t see their parents very much. If they’re away every other weekend and work full time, they’re not spending that much time with their children.

I’m all for having time to yourselves but that seems quite a lot. It’s not your business though and if you don’t like their morals, it’s probably best to distance yourself from them.

It is perfectly possible to adore your children and enjoy time away from them. As someone without children, I suggest you refrain from forming opinions on things you can't possibly understand. Is there anything or anyone you'd want to be with/doing 24/7? I supect not.

I'm slightly envious when I see these posts (we have no help so haven't had a single date in 5 years 😭)
But, they don't annoy me in the slightest! Why would I have a problem with people doing something fun without their kids?

You can adore your children and be very happy you made the decision to be a parent but also have tongue in cheek comments with other parents who can relate to the fact that sometimes you just need a break and it is most definitely a celebration to be able to enjoy a grown up conversation without any interruptions, to be able to eat dinner without wiping someone's nose etc.

Parenting can be amazing but it can also be difficult. It's possible for both to be true.

What's a full time mum? Am I a part time mum because I worked?

I'm a parent and I agree with the points you sniped at.

I think your response proved the point of the poster you're arguing with too. Having children but dancing a public jig when you can get away from them suggests ambivalence.

Oh honestly you just sound silly.

Oh dear op you are a terrible advert for being a stay at home mum of school aged children you clearly have WAY too much time on your hands

And if you think these hashtags are VILE, CRASS AND GRIM well I think you must be #blessed to have led such a cushy sheltered life lol

Again, projection. If you feel bad being away from your kids fine, but I don't. Martyrs don't make better parents.

I never get to go out. I have no family to help, no friends, no babysitters tht are affordable for three kids. This is my life, this is what I chose. If I had friends who posted about "going out childfree" etc, I'd be happy for them. You sound bitter and jealous.

Did she not say it was a date night every other week for one friend she's stalked?

I work but arrange my hours so I put my kids to bed 4 week nights and at the weekend. DH is home for dinner and bedtime 3 week nights and at the weekend. If we managed to go out for dinner twice a month I feel like we'd still be seeing a lot of them

But what's the problem with using the language of "nice night out" without belabouring the point that you don't have the children tagging along?

There's such a difference in emphasis between "great night out at [wherever] with husband" and "childfree".

Well it looks like you already get a lot of childfree time , which is why you’re not excited by it.

I'm a SAHM to a (very easy) toddler and it's relentless, if you don't think being a parent is tiring you're not doing it right. I value my free time very much!

I think date night pretty much means child free.

YYY to that.

How about parents getting a respite weekend from a child who needs 24/ 7 hands-on care strewing # childfree all over their SM? How would that come across?

How do all the # childfree brigade think your glee comes across to the parents of children needing that level of care?

It is incredibly crass, imo.

It would come across to me that they are getting a well earned break and are going to enjoy it.

Not seeing an issue at all.

#datenight is insensitive to widows
#dinner what about people who don't have stomachs?
#nightout won't you think of the poor souls who are scared of the dark?
#fun how unfair to depressed people.

This is probably part of a wider issue of “don’t post things on social media you’d hate your kids to see at some point down the line” rather than taking an issue with someone’s hashtag of #nokidzone #childfreenight. I’m basing this on the fact that I’m sure most of us (including the OP) will have said something similar to friends in person such as “god, I can’t wait to go out with DH at the weekend and have a break from the kids. They’ve been driving me mad lately” or even on a private WhatsApp. Presumably that’s okay to say so I don’t see any difference in the social media posts except for the fact they reach a wider audience.

You find it offensive and inappropriate that adults that have nights out without their children might post #childfree?

You need to get off social media and stop judging other people.

This is genuinely one of the most pathetically snobbish post I've ever seen.

It's a lifestyle choice for me & DH for me to stay at home to prioritise our family.

Are you sure that was a wise decision OP? What will you tell your kids you did all afternoon? You judge people who mention they're 'childfree' but why is wasting hours on the internet any better? I don't think it is and have a feeling you're 'irked' because you're a little bit bored.

Thank god. I was thinking....I'm away with my Uni mates in March. We categorically do not allow children. If you need to bring a kid, you aren't coming. All our kids are primary aged. It's bloody central to our fun that it's just us, no Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom he pushed me Mom I'm hungry Mom where my t-shirt Mom Mom Mom I need a poo Mom I did a poo and it's smaller than his Mom Mommommomommmmm...

You are absolutely implying there's a problem with being with the child. The word "free" always comes with the implication "from".

It also has its direct meaning, which is "unburdened", "not oppressed", " unbound", and probably several more, which you can look up.

There is the clear implications that the # childfree have escaped some horrible fate akin to imprisonment or the bearing of an impossible burden. Is this really how some parents view their children?

I'm not projecting - I'm a mother of five (now grown) children and I'm well aware parenting isn't a bed of roses. But "childfree" is a term that concerns me because it has a hugely negative side to it that I think we as a society need to recognise.

Our choice of words is important because words have distinct meaning. Words show our values and our emphasis.

So is the word 'hubby'.