To think that this is ok.. gofundme for a wealthy family

[yhegadian]

My friends and I had lunch yesterday. We starting chatting about a family we know and live near. Seemingly wealthy, enjoy the trappings of wealth, one of best addresses in London. Summer house, private education for kids etc.
One of the kids has an opportunity to get a preventative course of medicine for the recurrence of a life limiting disease that can be effective but is not guaranteed. A trial.
It will cost £100's K.
I think. Gofundme is perfectly acceptable in view of their child's potential opportunity . Others in the group were shocked that they would consider this due to their apparent wealth, family wealth, salubrious homes , cars etc and felt other causes were more deserving considering their present financial situation will remain ie some felt they could take their other children from private school, trade down regarding their home, sell their summer home , downgrade cars. They won't be using capital from any of the above to fund treatment.
AIBU?

From what you have said, I agree it seems immoral. If I were in their position I'd like to think I'd be socially aware enough, to know how a Go Fund Me may be perceived.

They are free to set up a go fund me. It's then up to other people about whether they want to contribute.
Honestly, would I contribute? No. If they are already prioritising keeping their summer house over their child's health then it's is their choice.

I'm with your friends. If they have all this wealth, and could easily liquidate something like the holiday home, they should do that instead of asking strangers for donations.

I wouldn’t be begging for money when I had other (easy) ways of raising it.

They can set it up but no way would I contribute if the second home hasn't been sold!

They can sell the summer house rather than begging.

i Thought a summer house was like a big posh shed in the garden. Not an actual additional house you own somewhere ?

They should sell the summer house. I’d rather give to those who are genuinely in need financially than those who want to keep their lifestyle but let everyone else fund their child’s potentially lifesaving treatment.

I would never contribute to a go fund me whatever the circumstances. Definitely not in these circumstances!

Absolutely not, I’d think it was cheeky as fuck

The thing is, ordinary people will be moved by the story and contribute funds they can perhaps only just afford. Strangers would have no idea they are giving to a family that prioritises fancy cars and summer houses over their child's health so in a way they are conning people who do not share their privilege. It is immoral, yes.

You do everything you can to help yourself before you pass round the begging bowl. I needed to set up a fund a couple of years back to help a close relative but it was a last resort after we sold anything of value, remortgaged and took on extra work.

My child would come before any possession. I would never ask strangers for money if by selling something or changing my life style I could afford it myself. I’m guessing their holiday homes are more important than their child’s health. Not people I would have in my circle of friends.

If they aren't prepared to go without why should I give money away from my family?

^ 👏🏻👏🏻

Unless they’re living beyond their means of course. I would feel sorry for the child though!

I wouldn't donate. Seems in poor taste to ask other people to give when they are not willing to give up anything in their side. I might think differently if I knew they had contributed a significant amount first.

Well yes, it could be all fur and no knickers. Sympathies for the child either way.

Not that long ago the wealthy would be ashamed to ask for handouts when so many are struggling but its very fashionable now.

No different from the people all over MN complaining that the tax breaks for private education are being removed instead of just taxing the poor more to pay for it.

Ebenezer Scrooge looks like an upstanding citizen next to some greedy cunts these days.

In the UK trials don't normally cost money do they?
It does sound that they are well off....If their child has such a limiting disease I am surprised they haven't adjusted their lifestyle already though..and would selling the cars raise all the money or would they still need the go fund me for the difference.

I wouldn't give if I knew they were significantly better off than me, especially for an unproven trial medication. I have given to similar appeals for end of life care for very sick children and support for the families.

Sympathys for child but remortgage house do whatever etc before asking me for money.

It's same whenever I see a gofundme for someone who went on holiday and injured their self. I buy my insurance if you can't be bothered to I'm not paying for your choices not to.

The thing is, ordinary people will be moved by the story and contribute funds they can perhaps only just afford. Strangers would have no idea they are giving to a family that prioritises fancy cars and summer houses over their child's health so in a way they are conning people who do not share their privilege. It is immoral, yes*

I agree with this, unless they have been upfront about their circumstances people who may have far less than they have may contribute. Completely immoral.

Similar scenario in our school, one of the pupils had to go to America for treatment l. GoFundMe set up to raise funds, school hosted loads of events.kids donating their pocket and birthday money and so on.
Mum would turn up to the playground weighed down with bags, having been shopping in Harvey Nics.
It raised many eyebrows.

Nobody with two fucking houses should be asking other people to pay for their kid to take part in a drug trial.

People who don’t know them well are going to see that appeal and donate money under the assumption that the family are asking for donations because they have no other option. In fact, they simply aren’t willing to give up a massive luxury that they don’t need.

What the hell’s going through their minds? “Hmmm, we could just sell our summer home - but the treatment’s unproven so if our kid dies anyway we’ll thrown away our holiday home for nothing. Let’s mitigate against that financial risk by begging from well-meaning acquaintances instead.”

I do think it's a bit of a piss take to be able to afford all of that stuff but be asking people for money on a go fund me tbh and I wouldn't donate to it. They could sell their summer house or down grade their house or send their children to public school or like lots of things to raise the cash then asking others to give it them.

In the context of the other signs of wealth mentioned I'd take summer house to be a second home that they summer in, rather then a fancy shed 🤷🏻‍♀️