To think that this is ok.. gofundme for a wealthy family

[yhegadian]

My friends and I had lunch yesterday. We starting chatting about a family we know and live near. Seemingly wealthy, enjoy the trappings of wealth, one of best addresses in London. Summer house, private education for kids etc.
One of the kids has an opportunity to get a preventative course of medicine for the recurrence of a life limiting disease that can be effective but is not guaranteed. A trial.
It will cost £100's K.
I think. Gofundme is perfectly acceptable in view of their child's potential opportunity . Others in the group were shocked that they would consider this due to their apparent wealth, family wealth, salubrious homes , cars etc and felt other causes were more deserving considering their present financial situation will remain ie some felt they could take their other children from private school, trade down regarding their home, sell their summer home , downgrade cars. They won't be using capital from any of the above to fund treatment.
AIBU?

I wouldn't donate.

Most GFMs have contributions from people who lead very ordinary
lives, not wealthy at all. Why would they donate to a family who could easily sell some assets to fund?

I'm an ordinary person on an ordinary wage and would have to sell stuff on Vinted, eBay and do a lot of overtime to get extra money. It's all relative.

Have the family actually said they’re creating a go fund me page? Or was it just a hypothetical situation you were discussing? Just sounded like maybe they hadnt set one up, but that you were just all discussing if that could be an option.

If I was wanting to give money for healthcare I’d look at a family in usa who can’t access care we’d call standard due to the prices over there.

I think to pay 100k would be financially crippling for most households- even ones that look like they are doing ok from an outsiders opinion… they could for example be a high income but high debt family, so now they are in this situation they are stuck with no options (quick turnaround options anyway). I always think looking in no one really knows what is going on.

However, if they genuinely genuinely can afford it - they are seriously immoral!!!

I think judge not lest ye be judged.

Unless you’ve seen their bank statement or spoken to their accountant or to them personally, you really don’t know for sure if they’re wealthy.
They appear wealthy.
Maybe they’re getting by on credit cards. Maybe there’s a reason they can’t sell. Maybe someone in the family gambles.
There must be a thousand reasons why they might not be as wealthy as they appear.
Their kid’s sick for Christ’s sake. I’d donate on the off chance that they actually needed the help. I think it would be humiliating for an “obviously wealthy” family to have to do a GoFundMe.
The mean and judgmental comments on this thread astound me.

Surely they wouldn't think twice about selling the second property to give their child the opportunity? This is one reason I don't give to thing like go fund me. You just don't know the background of strangers.

I do and have given to causes of people I know personally. The only one I didn't was because it was for an item I knew was in their personal reach and I had seen their lifestyle first hand.

Yes they are being unreasonable. Love the kid but not enough to sell their stuff ASAP. So weird. Assume they are trying this first and if it doesn't go well they will pay themselves. Some people donating will be far worse off than them. That's sad.

This. They shouldn't go begging it they have other options

My own feeling is not that I am subsidizing th child's health - I am subsidizing their summer house.

No way am I doing that.

I wouldn't donate in this situation

The problem with any GoFundMe is that you don't know the circumstances of the people asking for money so many people, me included, will no longer donate anything.
It's sad as I'm sure many are genuine and deserve funding but there are so many shameless shysters about now

Anyone can set up a gofundme but I think it's very greedy of them to. Mostly people who are working class/poor use Gofundme for real issues

I borrowed an extra £70k against my fairly ordinary two-bed flat in London a few years ago. The money came through within days. If this family has as prestigious an address as OP claims, borrowing £100k wouldn’t be a problem.

No reason why they can't set one up. Chances are they move in wealthy circles, so their equally rich friends can donate, can't they?

The gofundme might be raising funds for the charity/organisation who is funding the research

but yes, I agree with you.

I wouldn’t give to a gofundme full stop.
T
So often these so called drug trials abroad are run by various dubious individuals who whose only aim is to exploit the desperate in order to make money.

There was a panorama on a few years ago about these trials and their dubious origins and often tragic outcomes.

One family of a gravely ill child was advised against going to the US to take part in one at some extortionate cost because stalling his treatment at this point would mean that he there was a real risk it would be too late if/when they got back.

The child was taken seriously ill abroad, and IIRC either died at a nearby hospital abroad who were used to receiving this so called clinic’s results, or he died shortly after coming home, after the legitimate consultants advised there was nothing more that they could do for him.

They do - but only when applying for a visa! Circumstances can change.
I read this story, no idea why it was deemed newsworthy as it happens to hundreds of students every year. Family illness, business failure etc means they can no longer pay.
IIRC this student was studying something like media and marketing at an ex-poly so I didn't donate. A STEM course at an RG, or medicine, probably would have.

YANBU OP. But there's nothing you can unfortunately unless you can post a link to their social media showing off how wealthy they are. Some people have no shame.

Totally disgusting and immoral. They can sell their surplus house the grabby bastards.

gofundme has become quite cringey

It’s reasonable to set up a gofundme, nobody is forced to donate. You could argue almost all go fund me campaigns in the UK are immoral when you think of how many children in developing countries dying of preventative or easily treated illnesses and conditions such as diarrhoea, malaria, HIV or malnutrition could be saved by the amounts of money needed to fund medical treatment for a single child in the UK. If it’s a matter of only donating to the most needy nobody should be donating in the UK and should be giving to charities which fund campaigns to support those in war zones and areas where there is widespread famine or inaccessibility to clean water etc.

Anyway if the family are wealthy they likely have lots of wealthy friends who may wantto donate and I can understand wanting to try and at least part-fund the treatment from means which don’t involve removing their children from school and selling assets etc. I guess depending on the child’s condition and type of treatment etc (eg: whether it’s a life threatening condition and a life saving treatment) there could also be a question of whether it would be fair on the other children to sell everything to fund something for one child whilst disrupting the schooling etc of the others. It’s reasonable for the family to try and find ways to fund the treatment which don’t affect their standard of living, even if objectively their standard of living is higher than many others. If they move in wealthy circles they probably don’t see their standard of living as exceptional in the same way people living in the UK don’t compare their standard of living to a person in the developing world when assessing how much of their standard of living they’d be willing to lose.

Obviously I would question the parents morality if they try to raise the funds through gofundme but fail to raise enough and still decide not to sell any cars/ their second home etc to raise the funds and potentially cure their child but it’s okay for that not to be their first option.

They can do as they please, but I wouldn't be giving to a family who actually had the means of getting this medication from selling some assets. What a cheek!!

I think crowd funding has become a default response to most wants and needs now. What's the saying, who dares wins? In the last year I've seen the begging bowl, I mean crowdfunding links, being shared for flights to get to a funeral, various medical trials, trip to Zambia on gap yah for year 13 student under the guise of charity work, a disability aid and a headstone. All from people who can pay their own way, but would rather save their own dosh.
The disability aid really bothered me as the mum was sharing the link and saying how it was so expensive (£900) but in the next post announced "holiday booked, Euro Disney here we come for the fifth time lol'. I'm quite sure if she had forfeited her Disney trip for once and gone to Butlins she could have easily saved £900 herself!

I feel so sad for the child! Never mind the (outrageous!) begging, children from any walk of life should feel their safety, health and happiness is the top priority of their parents. If it's true that the parents won't inconvenience themselves and their lavish lifestyle, in order to help their child (if the Go Fund Me doesn't make enough, for example), that's appallingly. I really hope the child doesn't grow up thinking that's a reflection of their worth 😰

I was looking through the posts on my nextdoor FB page
A man was asking for funding because his benefit had stopped because he didn't turn up for a interview at the job centre..
I can't believe the brass balls of some people

preventative course of medicine for the recurrence of a life limiting disease

Potentially controversial... however, everyone seems focused on the £££ and not on the child.

Speaking as a parent of a child who survived a life limiting disease, imho they can do whatever the hell they want.

Further, no one should have to go broke or sell off their hard earned belongings if struck with a life limiting disease. £100s K for a trial is extremely risky because at the end of the day, the trial may end and it may not work. So they lose a child + any assets sold off.

More trials fail, badly... than succeed. Let potential funders make up their own minds. And do not forget that there's a poorly child in all of this.