Tech moguls are protecting their kids from social media but not ours... Are many parents pushing back in the UK?

[Bridgetjoneski]

https://www.fastcompany.com/90900166/tech-social-media-protection-children

Following on from the Brianna Grey mums thread.. It's interesting to read that many of the top tech execs have been raising their kids social media free... The wealthier families we know have kids who are protected more from social media than others. These families can afford a lot of extracurriculars & days out/holidays etc so the kids are kept busy.. I do agree that we are really starting to see the horrendous effects of social media but will this be another example of where wealthier parents or more clued in parents are better able to protect their kids?
So many times we have been out for dinner & have been sat beside toddlers glued to Peppa Pig etc (at full volume) it's bloody ridiculous...

The wealthier families we know have kids who are protected more from social media than others. These families can afford a lot of extracurriculars & days out/holidays etc so the kids are kept busy..

I don't buy that as a reason. Kids don't need to be doing tons of paid-for extracurricular activities or holidays in order for their parents to be able to take charge of their access to social media. More clued-up parents, yes. Richer ones? Not really.

You’re making a lot of assumptions in your posts. It’s not as simple as wealthy people can parent their children but poor people can’t.

@AllProperTeaIsTheft yes I suppose that's true it's more clued in & a clued in parent can be as poor as a church mouse or a billionaire.
Roblox, Minecraft etc are examples of Apps that's children are given unlimited time on & they have a chat function & friending options. It chills me to the bone to be honest.

But I will stand by my opinion that wealthier families will have more money to throw at their kids to keep them more engaged in more wholesome persuits than Minecraft!

Peppa Pig isn't social media.
*pursuits.
I know loads of parents who don't allow tech / screen time and none of them are what you would consider "wealthy".

You don't need to spend loads of money to keep your kids off Minecraft.

I can never understand why any parent abdicates this responsibility.

A) only buy them a phone when you want them to have one
B) set it up linked to your phone and with adequate parental controls, it's free you just need to learn how to do it or ask someone to help
C) talk to kids about using it responsibly
D) check it regularly and set usage limits and rules about when and where they are allowed to use it.

It's not the responsibility of tech firms to sort this out.

None of it is compulsory.

My Y9 DC doesn’t have it and it really hasn’t been an issue. They haven’t asked for it.
They have a phone but don’t usually take it to school.

They see their friends at school and send the occasional WhatsApp message to a couple of outside-school friends. I suspect we have swerved a lot of bother by steering clear of things like class chat groups.

But then I tend to believe in not crossing bridges before it becomes necessary.

To be honest, I would get rid of WhatsApp myself if I could!

There's nothing wrong with Minecraft either to be fair, it can be quite involved and intelligent. If you'd given Fortnite as your exemplar I'd think you knew slightly more about what you speak.

@OverTheCountryClub but it's unnecessary screen time. In a restaurant when your sat next to paying customers it's completely unreasonable to have a toddler on a screen with the volume turned up. The message is the parents would rather not parent their child & are relying on a screen to keep their child entertained instead of engaging with him /her... The boundaries are already being set.

But I will stand by my opinion that wealthier families will have more money to throw at their kids to keep them more engaged in more wholesome persuits than Minecraft!

I totally disagree. Firstly, Minecraft is great (and very benign and pretty creative, as computer games go) and secondly, what on earth makes you think rich kids aren't playing Minecraft? I assure you they are. Peppa Pig isn't social media, and neither is Minecraft. You seem a bit confused about what it is you're worried about.

I'm not a tech mogul but I protect my kids from social media. It's the individual parents job regardless. I'm not rich, my kid ds don't do all the fancy outings yet I still protect my kids. Go figure.

Your point is getting a little convoluted. Would Peppa be ok with headphones?

@Barrenfieldoffucks it would be less intrusive definitely with headphones. But it is bizarre that parents choose not to engage with their child during a family meal...

You don't need loads of money to entertain your kids, especially at the preteen stage where social media is so wildly inappropriate. As for "clued up" I'm afraid at some point it does have to be to adults to be pro-active and learn just like they do for every other aspect of parenting; diet, sleep, road safety etc. I'm a luddite and a reluctant tech user but I made sure I knew how to put parental controls on their phones and how to extend it post 13. I also check their phones and have boardgames and card games as alternatives to tech based activities. I'm a single parent teacher, hardly wealthy. Let's not make this another issue where "the rich" are blamed for all the ills of "the poor".

Minecraft is completely fine, and really quite creative and builds skills in kids.

TikTok and Snapchat? Other random website chats? Really, really problematic.

I think a lot of middle class parents think limiting screen time is the answer, but then cave into to instagram etc esp for girls at around 13. This is when a lot of problems emerge and the liberal parenting model doesn’t want to restrict these apps.

Sometimes we go out for meals with no tech and talk to the kids and sometimes we have tech so we can have an adult conversation.

In the 80s/90s my parents would take us to Little Chef or Happy Eater and we’d go to the Lego table of play outside. I don’t think places like that exist anymore.

DH works for a US tech company that hosts other websites. He is head of a department that covers, amongst other things, all cases where content hosted has abuse reports by members of the public.

I am pregnant with our first and we've already agreed to raise baby with as little exposure to SM as possible. Definitely no photos on SM as the things possible with AI now are horrific.

But also he's adamant that all internet usage will be strictly monitored as there is such deplorable and dangerous content accessible to anyone with a phone in their pocket. Children (and many adults) can so easily be sucked in by manipulative bad actors.

I'm not a fan of devices at the dinner table either, but I think it's a bit of a separate issue to the dangers of social media. Watching Peppa Pig on a tablet is no more addictive than watching tv ever was. It's just more portable! For example some people have the tv on constantly, even when having dinner. That's not a new thing.

It's a lazy argument that has been had so many times on here, but not related to your point on social media so I won't bother going through it again.

How old are your kids and what is your approach with them?

With our 3, they are allowed things like Snapchat and WhatsApp once at high school when they get a phone. (Only 2 out of 3 this far, they're 13 and 12) This has timers and locks on, and all privacy settings up high. Passcodes have to be known by us, and we can check any time.

But they are also very busy. During the week they each have an activity every day, from rowing to badminton, skateboarding, the gym, scouts etc. So it's all a balance.

The problem isn’t really gaming though. Or amount of screen time.

It is social media sites and also YouTube (which has disturbing content). And being introduced to these at 12/13.

Really all kids should not be on social media until they are 16. None at all.

Many of the boys at my son’s prep play about Minecraft, mine is not allowed. They’re all 6 and 7. It’s not about money. It’s about parents actually parenting and having the common sense to say no, whatever their socioeconomic bracket is.

I wouldn’t say it’s about extracurriculars, although that may keep them busy. It’s often about the expectations parents have for their children and what they value as a family.

Video games are probably ok after a certain age and with clear boundaries. Social media is ultra high processed food for the brain. Total garbage.

Out of interest if you want adult conversation why not hire a baby sitter or ask family to mind for a couple of hours?

But also he's adamant that all internet usage will be strictly monitored as there is such deplorable and dangerous content accessible to anyone with a phone in their pocket.

On here you tend to get ripped to shreds if you admit to monitoring your child's internet access.

I was called intrusive and borderline abusive for having a policy whereby we don't have phones in bedrooms at night, no apps can be downloaded without my permission (I have to approve it from my phone) and kids phone content is regularly checked.

Not everyone has those options.