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Tech moguls are protecting their kids from social media but not ours... Are many parents pushing back in the UK?

117 replies

Bridgetjoneski · 04/02/2024 14:32

https://www.fastcompany.com/90900166/tech-social-media-protection-children

Following on from the Brianna Grey mums thread.. It's interesting to read that many of the top tech execs have been raising their kids social media free... The wealthier families we know have kids who are protected more from social media than others. These families can afford a lot of extracurriculars & days out/holidays etc so the kids are kept busy.. I do agree that we are really starting to see the horrendous effects of social media but will this be another example of where wealthier parents or more clued in parents are better able to protect their kids?
So many times we have been out for dinner & have been sat beside toddlers glued to Peppa Pig etc (at full volume) it's bloody ridiculous...

OP posts:
Maxus · 04/02/2024 19:12

Bridgetjoneski · 04/02/2024 19:08

But that's great if a child & parents are interacting with a child over an activity. Sticker books don't talk! How are you saying they are not noiseless!
Are you saying that family were entitled to inflict full volume Peppa Pig on the tables sat beside them? They did not interact with the toddler at all.

I said my kids would have headphones. I would rather a kid wearing headphones than listen to a parent reading a book or performance parenting so everyone can hear. "Oh look a a puppy sticker, oh look it's a cat sticker" for an hour while we try to relax with our meal.

Bridgetjoneski · 04/02/2024 19:15

MsSquiz · 04/02/2024 19:09

If kids shouldn't be on a screen when out for dinner with family, should they also not have small toys to play with or a colouring book and pencils?
Because that's what I was doing when out at a restaurant with family when I was younger!

If we go out for Sunday lunch with our children, we chat to them or play I spy until food comes, then once they finish their meal, they are allowed screen time while they wait for the rest of the table to finish.
They aren't bothering anyone, the volume is off so not blasting kids music through the restaurant so it's really nothing to do with anyone else!

Many kids still sit nicely with a cuddly toy & colouring paraphernalia (working their fine motor skills too as do sticker books!!) Many restaurants still supply colouring crayons & sheets with the kids menu!
@MsSquiz if the volume is off then your children are not bothering anyone & as a family you are being respectful to those around you.

OP posts:
turkeyboots · 04/02/2024 19:18

I have always been astonished by the number of parents I've met who have handed IT to children allowing them to access the whole of the Internet with no controls. I pads, Ipods, tablets, pcs, smart phones all of which they have never thought to apply basic controls to.
It takes seconds to Google how to set parental controls and screen limits.
We are a pro tech and gaming house and have every console going. I don't believe screens are bad, but I do believe in moderation and age limits. Which makes me terribly mean mother these days.

Bridgetjoneski · 04/02/2024 19:18

Maxus · 04/02/2024 19:12

I said my kids would have headphones. I would rather a kid wearing headphones than listen to a parent reading a book or performance parenting so everyone can hear. "Oh look a a puppy sticker, oh look it's a cat sticker" for an hour while we try to relax with our meal.

Edited

Yes that's fine if the kids have headphones. Personally I have no problem with parents interacting with their kids over activities during a meal out together, is that not what family time is all about, bonding & interaction?!

OP posts:
Maxus · 04/02/2024 19:27

Bridgetjoneski · 04/02/2024 19:18

Yes that's fine if the kids have headphones. Personally I have no problem with parents interacting with their kids over activities during a meal out together, is that not what family time is all about, bonding & interaction?!

Yes I bond and interact with my kids all the time. My teens still eat meals with me twice a day while we talk and interact. We also bond and interact outside meals aswell.In fact we still talk and interact far more than most teens I know do with their parents. During meals out my kids had iPads when younger so adults got a little time. No not everyone has babysitters on tap. One of my teens is a musician so not doing colouring during meals out hasn't affected his motor skills🙄

Bridgetjoneski · 04/02/2024 19:33

Maxus · 04/02/2024 19:27

Yes I bond and interact with my kids all the time. My teens still eat meals with me twice a day while we talk and interact. We also bond and interact outside meals aswell.In fact we still talk and interact far more than most teens I know do with their parents. During meals out my kids had iPads when younger so adults got a little time. No not everyone has babysitters on tap. One of my teens is a musician so not doing colouring during meals out hasn't affected his motor skills🙄

Well what works for you wouldn't work for me. DH & I don't have babysitters on tap, if we want a nice meal together one of us will cook or order in, have a nice bottle of wine chilled & get the dc to bed for 8.
A meal out as a family is just that, it's bonding, interacting & catching up on our days. Everyone's priorities are different. So here's an 🙄 right back at you..

OP posts:
Maxus · 04/02/2024 19:36

Bridgetjoneski · 04/02/2024 19:33

Well what works for you wouldn't work for me. DH & I don't have babysitters on tap, if we want a nice meal together one of us will cook or order in, have a nice bottle of wine chilled & get the dc to bed for 8.
A meal out as a family is just that, it's bonding, interacting & catching up on our days. Everyone's priorities are different. So here's an 🙄 right back at you..

That's nice, that dosent work when you have a child with sleep problems caused by disability.

Maxus · 04/02/2024 19:37

You need to realise that the moguls have every right to ban social media just as every other parent does. They are not raising your child.

Vettrianofan · 04/02/2024 19:39

DS (8) has a friend who has been asking when he can join Roblox. I have just said "we'll see" which really is my way of saying no.

Bridgetjoneski · 04/02/2024 19:48

Maxus · 04/02/2024 19:37

You need to realise that the moguls have every right to ban social media just as every other parent does. They are not raising your child.

Exactly. That's why mine don't have any access. They only have access to a screen for homework with dh or I in the room.
If screens are not good enough for the tech moguls (who invented social media) kids they are not good enough for mine. It's actually quite sinister if you think about it hard enough. The inventors know how dangerous & addictive screen time & social media is yet millions of parents bow to the peer pressure of not wanting their child excluded!

OP posts:
Maxus · 04/02/2024 20:00

Bridgetjoneski · 04/02/2024 19:48

Exactly. That's why mine don't have any access. They only have access to a screen for homework with dh or I in the room.
If screens are not good enough for the tech moguls (who invented social media) kids they are not good enough for mine. It's actually quite sinister if you think about it hard enough. The inventors know how dangerous & addictive screen time & social media is yet millions of parents bow to the peer pressure of not wanting their child excluded!

That depends how you raise them.Mine have had phones and laptops from around 8, well the phones when they started high school. They do revision, watch videos, games but have no interest in social media, neither do their friends. I put blocks on when they where younger but now between 16 and 18 they no longer have any. As I've said before social media is for adults so the moguls have every right to ban their own kids.

BogRollBOGOF · 04/02/2024 20:48

Children have to function in the world around them. By y7, smart phones are a reality for things like catching a bus to school and accessing a school time table. They are practical tools for young people making the transition from child to adult.

My y6 has recently got a phone. The reality is that he was one of the last in the class and getting socially left out. He can now directly contact friends over arrangements like walking to school rather than going through chains of parents texting busy parents. He can now contact friends when they're geographically unavaliable to meet in RL because they're with their other parent/ extended family.

We don't live in Silicon Valley, there's a limit to my resources to manage my children's lives and fill their time without them having direct access to technology. They have to function in a compatible world with their peers.

I can delay to a degree. Better having a phone in y6 and being last than the first in y4. I can use parental controls. I can vet what they do/ access. I can create dialogue about what they do and what our boundaries are and why. Ignoring reality is damaging though, both socially harmful to isolate them too much, and doesn't necessarily prepare them for the reality when they outgrow protectionism.

When they were little and the world of teenagers having smartphones was fresh, I hoped that things might be better and safer than when mine reached that stage, but Pandora's Box is open, and we have to work our way around what emerged. Is it what I would ideally like? No. But I have to try and pick a moderate path with the best balance of benefit vs risk.

Sturnidae · 04/02/2024 21:58

turkeyboots · 04/02/2024 19:18

I have always been astonished by the number of parents I've met who have handed IT to children allowing them to access the whole of the Internet with no controls. I pads, Ipods, tablets, pcs, smart phones all of which they have never thought to apply basic controls to.
It takes seconds to Google how to set parental controls and screen limits.
We are a pro tech and gaming house and have every console going. I don't believe screens are bad, but I do believe in moderation and age limits. Which makes me terribly mean mother these days.

I'm with you on that. There is a happy medium, but tbh op is all over the shop, has conflated numerous issues which have no links and just wants an echo box of others agreeing with them.

lljkk · 04/02/2024 22:02

Yeah... my American nephew got a full ride at an Ivy League Uni. Graduates this year.

He was banned from everything... he wasn't allowed to watch TV at all "because it causes ADHD". Age 11 his parents started to let him watch some baseball, live I mean.

He doesn't have ADHD. Phew. They dodged a right bullet there.

lljkk · 04/02/2024 22:06

Mark Zuckerberg's eldest daughter is 8yrs old. So lucky & unusual that an 8 year old is not already on Facebook, don't you think?!

MZ does teach them coding before bed. I wonder how entertaining they find "hello world" I mean, they probably aren't allowed to do anything else on the Internet... right?

Piglet89 · 04/02/2024 22:14

Out of interest if you want adult conversation why not hire a baby sitter or ask family to mind for a couple of hours?

@Bridgetjoneski because a babysitter is a completely unnecessary expense for a meal out and our respective families live five hundred miles away? Hope that satisfies your “interest”.

Jesus.

WaitingforSpring24 · 04/02/2024 23:27

Well I have three friends very high up in IT. They all love Minecraft and many of the games, they are made so well to a high standard like blockbuster movies. Their kids all have iPads, and like me with parental controls.

But they like me don't let any of their kids have free access, to websites, or social media.

Screen time isn't as much of a problem as falling into social media rabbit holes. As long as kids also have healthy social lives, OK in school, doing their homework etc.

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