Looking at "insta worthy" homes gets me down..

[JackSpratski]

I try so hard to keep my house nice.. but it's just, not. I don't have a hallway, just a tiny porch. No big bifold doors, no kitchen island. Walls that the plaster crumbles just by looking at it. A garage you can barely walk in as we have no storage space.

Looking at all these insta houses (the one I'm looking at at the moment is the haddon home.. they're usually working mums too.. and their houses are immaculate. I don't know how they do it.
Anyone else feel this way?

@NextPrimeMinister Today 13:13
I don't think coming on here and slagging off this insta page is particularly kind.

For God's Sake. It's perfectly acceptable to have negative opinions about anything and share them with your friends, family or anonymously on the internet.

I don't understand how some people are so sanctimonious that they think that any legitimate opinion or criticism is some sort of moral failing of unkindness.

It also REALLY pisses me off that the 'unkind' 'be kind' excruciating tropes are always wheeled out by women and directed at other women.

When did someone last say to Jacob Rees-Mogg or Donald Trump or Brad Pitt or any man "be kind"?

Is it possible that they can have a kitchen island AND bin juice at the same time?

Personally, I love getting inspiration from Instagram. There are lots of content creators who focus on furniture hacks and detailing how you can achieve certain looks without breaking the bank. Maybe OP should focus on those pages?

I love looking at Instagram for inspiration too. I’m not very good at envisioning things or knowing what goes well together, so it’s really helpful.

I love that I can type in the name of a Dulux paint shade or piece of IKEA furniture and see how it’s being used in endless real rooms.

A lot of the Instagram perfect houses seem joyless, a curated bookshelf filled with items bought en-masse and chosen to fit-in/co-ordinate and books bought because they look well, with the spines colour co-ordinated. And a lot show little snapshots, a carefully tidied and ‘curated’ corner, taking care not to show anything outside the corner because if they did, we’d see the reality.

I prefer to slowly gather and furnish my home. Favourite books on shelves, interesting pieces gathered over years on shelves, etc. My home looks well but is definitely lived in and out together over time. When my children were younger, there were toys and too much plastic and school bags, now they are older, everything is much neater and easier to keep.

I’m glad I never had, as a lot of influencers do, felt the need for F&B paint in certain colours, curated shelves and a general air of blandness and feeling they have to keep up with interior trends.

Haddon home looks like a Hinch clone. My jealousy homes are Jools Oliver and Marina Fogle. Very aware a lot of the pictures are likely staged.
A woman I knew of in my home town started an insta home page. It wasn't massive, but won local awards. I knew where she lived and her lifestyle. The photos she shared of her home were NOTHING like real life. She would take pictures in local parks and give the impression it was her back garden, she posed in a kitchen showroom pretending it was her kitchen 😏 and the few corners of her house that she actually did show were very carefully curated, and staged to make one corner look like different rooms. She heavily embellished everything about her life, including her job, where she was on holiday, and her relationship. She always was an Elevenerifer but she must have been called out by someone as her page disappeared suddenly one day.

Our house is 'like that' (or so we've been told by visitors). Myself and DH both have full time jobs, so we're certainly not 'working on it' 24/7. The trick is to not have lots of clutter, a place for everything and tidy as you go. But it is possible.

I’m really fascinated that you still look.
Just, why?
I’d love to have a garage btw - all that filled up storage space you have? I have to find room for all that stuff in my actual living space.
And I’m still full of gratitude compared to those with the added cost and insecurity of renting or even homeless.
You need to take some responsibility for your emotions and stop indulging in choosing to make yourself feel “down”.

I have a subscription to Country Homes and interiors , and it's full of beautiful stylised houses , with artfully curated objets collected by Giles and Phillips Hartley - Farquhar from their travels to the outer steppes of Goa or somewhere similar . None of them look remotely comfortable to me . I couldn't imagine coming in from work and vegging out on any of those stylish but uncomfortable sofas ( with no tv in sight ) , or making dinner in the pristine kitchen that doesn't seem to have a kettle, Or washing the mud off the dog in the immaculate boot room .

I'd rather come home to my own house , even if I spend my time sweeping up the splinters where the hound has used the log basket as a toy box , and the kitchen is best described as overstuffed .

I see this thread as the OP watching others on insta and it's making her feel bad about her lot. She gives ONE example account and a few posters have jumped on it to give their opinion on how much they dislike it.

If it makes them feel superior then crack on.

My advise to the OP was not to follow things if they made her feel bad. Not rip apart something she feels is aspirational.

If you actually want tips on how to make your house look nice - the main thing is decluttering every few months. Keeping things minimal and clean. Plus a lick of paint can make a house look brand new. It can all be done v cheaply.

Watch "Sort Your Life Out" on BBC to see what a difference this can make. It also massively cuts down on tidying day to day as you have less things to tidy.

Currently having a big insta page cull of make up/homes etc that are so perfect and make me feel a bit crap-it’s working! I will keep some declutterring pages as that’s my aim this year and I find them really helpful. Also culling any that make me want to buy the latest anything, as my focus is also using up everything I have and replacing once used, not keeping back ups. I also find I feel more fed up at certain times-hormonal/life shit so I have to be aware of my triggers!

I follow some home /interior folks on insta. I use it for inspiration, as we have renovated ours. So I’m their demo graphic. I follow the ones where it’s to my taste, and there is everything available. This house happens to be the ops taste. It’s fine if it’s not others or mine.

she does envy it. She does want it. She is feeling shit as she doesn’t have it. She isn’t their target audience either.

the target audience for any of these is people who live in similar properties, who like the style of the interior, who may buy the same things they have,

it isn’t for people who just feel shit as they don’t have it, it’s not to make them feel bad,

whenever I have bought something that’s been influenced by an advert or influencer, it’s because I like it. There is no negativity, I don’t feel bad about what I do have. And I find the whole thing odd to think that’s how it works.

so for example if I buy a new hair dye, or face cream, or a ruggable , no part of me feels bad, I just think oh that looks good., quite fancy that, or the reviews are good for that. I don’t sit thinking fuck me im so wrinkly best be buying a face cream

Looking at all these insta houses (the one I'm looking at at the moment is the haddon home.. they're usually working mums too.. and their houses are immaculate. I don't know how they do it.

Their pathetic 'insta' houses that they like to show off are shown at a very well prepared few seconds, they've probably spent a fortune having it staged and prepared, all so that they can think people are impressed. They don't seem to realise that genuinely affluent people usually have scruffy houses because they don't have to care what the hoi-polloi think!

That’s nonsense. I know quite a few genuinely affluent people and their homes are gorgeous. You’ve been reading too much jilly cooper and trotting out the old stereotype of the upper class in their run down pile. There are many very wealthy people, and their homes do not tend to the scruffy.

Stop looking then. Also if you do not know that this content is usually staged for the camera you probably should not be looking in the first place.

I genuinely don’t know why people would follow random people and look at their homes. I don’t do that kind of social media, but I can kind of understand following a popstar or actor that you like. I don’t understand why you would follow how some random person does their house, unless perhaps you were in the middle of a refurbishment and needed specific inspiration?

Honestly, as others have said, just don't look.
Hankering for property and possessions you'll never be able to have will just ensure misery for you.
Be grateful that you have a roof over your head, even if it isn't perfect. Many people in temporary accommodation and hostels would give their right arm to have a property call their own
Also many articles on Instagram are made up - it's not a reflection of real life.

What @Janetime said. It's for inspiration. When we built our extension I got great ideas about what I wanted from instagram

As people are saying it for inspiration and as you’ve similar tastes , like the persons style.and are the target market for the sort of thing they are promoting,

the issue comes in if you start following homes that you want but can’t afford, or can’t afford the stuff in them, when you’re not the demographic,

I looked at rhe influencer the ops envies. It’s not my thing, I live in the opposite to a new build, a very old period property , so I follow folks like Beth aspinall on oak home interiors, and others like her. I love her taste and she gives me ideas.

pther people won’t like it and will follow others where the taste aligns to theirs.

No. I don’t because it’s not “real” IYSWIM. Its content to be sold, to make us buy into a lifestyle of wanting more instead of being appreciative of what you have. I’ve bought into it historically but I truly believe that having my privacy, taking pleasure in the little things in life and not having to flog an aspirational lifestyle that ultimately means nothing is far nicer than having a big house with a fancy kitchen etc. I do enjoy seeing folks renovate homes etc but I never want it for myself! And I’m lucky enough to have a good salary where I could have a big house with a big mortgage to boot! But I live in a flat-no garden and that’s good enough for me!

This is such a cliché which I think people tell themselves to feel better about their own scruffy houses. I think a majority of people who have money will in the main, have a beautiful home, not a scruffy run down one, they can afford to clean, maintain, decorate and furnish their homes to a high standard. The people you are referring to are probably ‘old money’ where invariably the family money has run out through the generations and they now cannot afford to maintain the crumbling pile they have inherited.

The haddon one is annoying

Her written English is abysmal

Her garden is made out of plastic

😳

Why look if it not bringing you pleasure?

Clear the clutter, put nice cushions and throws, cook a home meal and if you enjoy sitting on your sofa and reading, decorate the space opposite the sofa with what will make you really happy , preferably things / images/ objects reflecting your positive life philosophy.

It must be a bit sad looking at the dead objects someone arranged and photoshopped and plastered on a website and making internal fuss about that

Don't look at them then.

Remember what you see online is at best momentary, and often fake.

Just look at that 'perfect' couple... you know, the Influencers... where he's just killed her...