To ask why you send your children to private school?

[WhatWorks]

Just that really. I think it would be interesting to see the spread and variety of reasons why people make certain educational choices.

For mine, it's about the values at our catchment state school. I am sure that most schools in most areas are quite inclusive. Unfortunately, children at our local school say things like "I don't play with (insert ethnic minority here) children" to non-white children. If they like an ethnic minority child, they tell them "you aren't (ethnic minority), you're white like us." Teachers do nothing about this sort of behavior, so we've gone elsewhere.

So, what are your reasons for sending your child/children to private school?

Ohhhhh. In BS?

No, a town beginning with N 😬

This. I don’t get that mentality at all and I’ve never seen it work out . I’d sooner move to a better catchment or pay for tutoring

I am dying 😂 at the posters stating diversity as their reasons. Come on!!!!

If I could afford it, would be a no brainer for smaller classes and multiple teachers not off for months at time with rotating cover teaching the same lesson for weeks on end; true stories!

@Tardyjo
in some areas, houses in a better catchment cost £200k+ more.

This is definitely the case in London.
In my old borough there was one school in particular everyone wanted to send their children to. Meaning the catchment was very small. Houses close by were in excess of £1 million. Whereas houses out of their catchment were about £600k. This was a while ago, they have since increased.

Why do you think it's funny? DC's schools were/are incredibly ethnically diverse. There was actually quite a range of "financial diversity" too, although obviously with more from the "rich" end of the scale than the local state schools.

Fortunately I haven't needed to as our state schools here are outstanding. Small classes (8 in dc) and within walking distance.

Diversity would be an issue in either state or private as my county is 99% white.

I understand we are privileged compared to some in the state system.

Way more ethic diversity in my DDs private secondary (children from over 50 different countries.)

A mix of boarders and also day students who travel to the school from up to an hour away.

State primary there were 2 non white kids out of 33 in her class.

Mixing with those with different backgrounds/cultures is so encouraged. So many different celebrations to learn about and enjoy. There's a staff member whose role it is to organise those so that the international students have the chance to share their cultures and celebrate their important holidays. It's wonderful.

Private school kids swear like troopers, as do their parents. The difference is that they wouldn’t dream of swearing within earshot or at any member of staff or parent. They automatically open doors for people, shake hands with their friends and happily make eye contact. DS’s friends would always say hello if I walked past them in town. Boundaries were set and reinforced at an early age, swearing would be punished with detention.
Amongst themselves they were normal teenagers, but perfect gentlemen when required. It might be seen as “posh” behaviour but I’d rather DS has the confidence to be comfortable in any social environment, but sport has done that.

What do you mean by diverse? If ethnically diverse then yes, independent schools are, on the whole, ethnically diverse.

On Friday I came into our school to talk to parents who are considering it for their children - one of the most frequent questions I got was whether there were many children who were non white British. One lady said that she was, at times, the only non white child in her class and she wanted to avoid that for her children.

It’s not a main reason but absolutely it is a reason.

my area is overwhelmingly white and the state schools mirror that, but the private school actually has quite a mix as the catchment is much wider. I definitely see that as a positive.

There’s kids from all round the world at our boarding school, our state option has kids that live within a few miles of the school, so yes, for us massively more diverse.
Ours flexi board a couple of nights a week because they want to rather than need to, but the long days and long holidays were a major factor for us - finishing at 3pm would be very inconvenient for our working hours.
As someone said above, we wanted them to enjoy rather than endure school which is what DH and I did at the state option.

But you are not, are you? Nobody has to learn or work and mix with people who refuse to follow reasonable instructions, swear, shout, ignore teachers, disrupt others from learning, destroy property and are violent or bully others. Anyone behaving like that at work would be sacked. If you went to a pub/restaurant/cinema etc and people behaved like that, they'd be removed or at least you could choose not to return. It is only our children (& teachers!) who we ask to tolerate ‘mixing’ like that.

My ds goes and has friends from China, Hong Kong, Dubai and Romania in his close friendship group.

He goes because we move so often through dh's job and wanted to give him some stability. He didn't go until secondary age as the educational benefits of travelling with family plus some homeschooling to fill gaps outweighed any advantage of private.

However, getting towards GCSE and moving so often becomes a real, future impacting hindrance.

Better teaching - disruptive behaviour is simply not tolerated.

Smaller class sizes

Better facilities

Sciences taught as 3 separate topics

Single sex

DD wanted to do an "extra" GCSE which couldn't be timetabled so the classics teacher agreed to give her tuition in their free time. DD and one other child stayed for an extra hour after school once a week.

Less academic benefits. More self confidence and social networking that will pay off in future careers. Unfortunately, it does often boil down to "who you know" in certain careers.

To avoid the massive, 12 form entry high school where she would get totally lost and overwhelmed.

To avoid the other, admittedly smaller high school where knife crime is a serious issue, amongst others.

Because she is bored and not stretched where she is, yet gets horrible comments from other kids because she actually wants to learn.

Because so much time in lessons is taken up with managing other kids behaviour.

Because I would prefer her to be out of a school where kids take weapons to school and break into the school and trash it.

Because, as a PP has said, I would prefer her to enjoy school, not endure it.

And no, I do not think the state system is good enough for everyone else's kids. It needs massive reform, investment and change. But that is a) not my fault, and b) won't be changed by labour's plan.

I don’t live in the UK but the responses to this are really making me wonder why everyone isn’t up in arms about the shocking state of schools.

If you have enough money for fees, then you probably live in a reasonably nice area. The idea that all these catchment schools are full of knife crime, disruption etc is just so shocking to me. Why are the schools so bad?

@Tardyjo because of austerity (i.e: the Tory government cutting funding in real terms to the schools, NHS, criminal justice system ...etc). Sadly services tend not to work when underfunded and overworked. I shall be voting labour at the next election.

@Tardyjo - also remember house prices in the UK are insane, it’s often more affordable to send your kids to private school than to buy a house in catchment for a good state school.

Yes private schools are very often ethnically more diverse than the local state schools. I'm mixed race so that would be something I'm interested in.

But this 'diversity' is only one type....and private school is often very lacking in any other sort of diversity.

The people I know who send their children private are:

1. the type who went private and wouldn't occur to them not to with their own, they want to stay in their tribe
2. teachers who get a good discount and it means they have wrap around care & the same holidays
3. social climbers who want to break into the local cliche and enjoy piggy-backing the lifestyles of their much richer neighbours
4. more hippy types who like the green spaces and freedoms that the local private schools have (ironically this group are definitely the most snobbish)

I’m almost every case that’s true for single children.

It would cost around £200k extra to move between the worst and best catchment areas near me. At current interest rates that’s about an additional 10k per annum just in mortgage interest payments.

Add on stamp duty and other moving costs and you soon end up spending as much as a mid range private school costs.

My reason was DD's adhd. She's still not recovered fully 5 years on from the assault on her confidence by her 'outstanding' state primary. I was concerned the local secondary would be the same because it's the same catchment, also 'outstanding' and the visit gave me the vibe that there was the same kind of lazy leadership because they can trust that the majority of the middle class parents will also be able to pick up the slack by tutoring etc.
And just on the diversity point, a state school in a leafy borough where the wealthier middle classes can afford to buy an in-catchment house, can be way less diverse than a private school like DD's which is in a more mixed area.

I don’t fit into any of those groups nor indeed do any other parents I know who use private schools.

When I went to work in schools, it wasn't the schools or their staff that were the issue. It was the behaviour of the pupils (not all obviously) and I hold parents responsible for that.