To ask why you send your children to private school?

[WhatWorks]

Just that really. I think it would be interesting to see the spread and variety of reasons why people make certain educational choices.

For mine, it's about the values at our catchment state school. I am sure that most schools in most areas are quite inclusive. Unfortunately, children at our local school say things like "I don't play with (insert ethnic minority here) children" to non-white children. If they like an ethnic minority child, they tell them "you aren't (ethnic minority), you're white like us." Teachers do nothing about this sort of behavior, so we've gone elsewhere.

So, what are your reasons for sending your child/children to private school?

DS wanted to apply to UWC for the IB which we agreed he could on the understanding that if he didn't get a large enough scholarship then he couldn't go. The scholarship was generous but still left fees higher than we could afford. In the end we decided the opportunity was too good to miss so we took out a loan. Only a two year course. Had it been any longer then it would have been a no. It also would not have been an option if he wasn't an only child.

A PP on this thread went on the attack at anyone who chooses private.

Who cares what anonymous randoms say?!

Specific needs not being met at state school, she’s thriving at private school.

OP that is shocking.

My child is in private because he had awful luck at state and had just too many poor teachers, he has some sen issues and just wasn’t on track to do well at state, he was languishing in bottom sets, getting bullied and he was miserable. So we’re using up our savings and may remortgage to put him through private for years 9-11. Thankfully great state post 16 options locally.

@Sausage77 well it will be for parents who are ethnically diverse. And maybe for others too of course. Why is that funny? Do you imagine ethically diverse parents don’t use private schools?

@NotGoingToLie Because it’s not a core reason

It’s
Smaller classes and better discipline so the teachers can teach and the kids get more individual attention

A broader curriculum

Sometimes better academic results overall, often better results for kids with particular needs that a state school doesn’t have the capacity to meet

Smaller sizes of school so quieter kids don’t get lost

More sport and extracurricular activities so kids that need a lot of stimulation get it

less pressure and better resources mean school is often just more fun

More choice on the type of school - sporty for one child, small and nurturing for another

There will be some parents who worry about cohorts at state schools, but usually only if the school has particular issues, or their kids are likely to be in lower sets.

Oh and good wraparound care

If controlling the cohort is the driver you’re wasting your money - teens here socially mix state and private all dds closest friends are at various private schools yet she is not - hope their parents aren’t pissed off!

My reasons were they were our nearest schools. Neither my ex nor I were well educated, he left school with no qualifications and we were both working class. He'd built up a business that meant we could afford the fees. However, when I later started to work in schools, I was very pleased that my children were in their private schools.

I haven't demonised anyone who chooses private.

However people are just plain rude about state schools, acting as though any parent who chooses one is basically neglectful because how could one possibly send a child to such a hell hole.

Perfectly fine to justify your choices arouns excellent facilities, smaller class sizes etc. There's no need to add in rude comments demeaning state education.

We’re a trilingual family and although we lived near an excellent state school, it didn’t provide education to enable DC’s to be educated in more than one language. Also the private school we chose had wrap around care and holiday programmes.

The ethnic diversity thing isn't weird at all. All our local private schools have a disproportionate amount of children from Asian backgrounds. Lots live in multi generational homes, often much more crowded than is typical of white british culture, and this frees up a lot of money for school fees.

Thirty years ago our very good children's state primary did not offer wrap around care. Both of us were full time workers and wrap around child care eg childminders was made difficult since most didn't have a car (rural area) or couldn't do the haphazard hours. So private school. For not terribly academic children, the sports, drama and music were a godsend.

I commented earlier that it was primarily the lack of sport that drove us to move our boys from an otherwise excellent state primary into the private sector as each hit year 4 - but we were also looking ahead to our local secondary which is struggling on multiple levels. I know many parents there of the DCs’ primary friends and it is overcrowded, underfunded and (in parental opinion) poorly led.
Meanwhile my brother and his wife have a non sporty girl who attends the OFSTED outstanding comprehensive nearby in their leafy area and they are always making pointed remarks about the boys’ private school .
As a PP said, it is a postcode lottery (exactly like GPs and other health services).

@Futb0l Why?
I have worked in the education sector for well over 15 years. Does that not give me the right to have an opinion?

Demonising?

It’s an absolute shit show! Again this is my reality.

This is mumsnet, these are people’s experiences.

London - live in a black hole for state secondaries. They'd have ended up at one miles away with crap results and a poor culture re behaviour.

Teaching quality. Physics reacher has a degree in Physics, Math teacher has a Maths degree, etc. I don’t really care about teaching qualifications, just subject matter knowledge.

It’s selective so the children are all at a similar level where everyone is capable of moving through the syllabus at pace and moving on to further enrichment together without the classroom descending into an impossible situation.

Any truly egregious behaviour can be dealt with swiftly and decisively.

State schools could deliver all this. It’s not about money. It’s about values and choices. The state comprehensives in my area have their hands tied.

Look at the Michaela School. Incredible education delivered to a diverse and comprehensive community. That head teacher, Birbalsinghe, seems to be harassed and harried by the forces “of equal mediocrity for all” on a constant basis.

We are lucky to buy our way out of the craven, hypocritical mess that is much of state education. I wish everyone could. True parent choice would be transformative.

I understand why this is happening; state schools are in crisis. They are failing children with additional needs because of such appalling underfunding.
A bit about me...
I'm a qualified primary teacher (20 years this year - I'm 43). 15 years ago I came out of ft whole class teaching as the demands and pressures had become too much and I simply wasn't present for my own three children.
I was employed as a 1-1 SEN HLTA as I have numerous additional qualifications and training in that particular field.
My job was genuinely incredible.
I gave so much but equally learned so much from the children I had the absolute privilege of working with.
Yes the huge pay cut was incredibly difficult, but we got by (just) and it was worth it to be doing such a rewarding and enjoyable role.
I'm now leaving at the end of July to return to university to do an MSc in Counselling Children and Young People.
Why?
Because now my job is nothing like the one I was employed to do.
I cover class teacher absence - pretty much on a ft basis. This means I'm covering classes of 30 from all year groups - all with high levels of EHCP/SEMH/SEND need - nearly always on my own with no TA support. All for £11.67 an hour as I am not paid my teacher rate for this cover.
Meanwhile the EHCP/SEMH/SEND children I once worked with are left with nothing.
I am devastated but have no choice.

@Futb0l people are talking about specific state primaries, not the whole system. If I lived in catchment for a good state primary, we would save our money and stick with that, but we don't

This is exactly the problem we found. So many people trying to do the right thing by the children and being placed in impossible positions. It must be so dispiriting.

And the constant teacher absences due to stress and stress related illnesses coupled with the recruitment problems meant that large classes with discipline issues were left to be managed by cover teachers and worksheets.

Difficult enough for NT children but absolutely terrifying for many ND children.

Our kids deserve better. I hate our governments for doing this to them.

Scotland here - DS moving in the summer. I'm unhappy with his state school for reasons already mentioned here. He's possibly dyslexic, excels at sport and I think would just fit better in private. On the fence about whether we'd move DD too (for secondary only) as she is very happy where she is. I just want him to enjoy going to school and not disappear into a class of kids who quite literally shout louder. Our state secondary offering is mediocre.

Because I didn’t want my DD to be educated with kids who regard education as boring or uncool.

About half of her female cohort at her state primary were in year 6 gravitating towards bunking off to hang out by the local shopping centre vaping and meeting boys. One of them is now pregnant at 13. The school she would have gone to has 10 forms per year and the parents of the kids who have gone there say the constant disruption makes it hard to get anything done.

our reasons were based on logistics, academics and sport.

DC are academically able - I know everyone on mumsnet says that but DD got highest possible marks in KS1 SATS so it’s factually true.
they went to local state primary which was great - community school, could walk there and back, safe, friendly, a really driven HT who pushed lots of extra curricular enrichment (she must’ve been an absolute wizard financially). DC both did very well, top of class (there was some subtle ‘streaming’ within classes), did lots of sport out of school which meant they always got picked to do sport in school, nice friend groups, all good.
Post covid things shifted - around Y5 their reports started saying they were working at expectations rather than above, DC voiced some complaints about being bored. Was quite clear teachers were having to focus on kids who’d slipped back during lockdown and mine were no longer being pushed. They’d started coasting and there was a bit of a ‘big fish/small pond’ scenario. Quite a few of their friends moved to nearby prep which is attached to private secondary.

at the same time our amazing nanny got a new job in a career she’d always wanted to
pursue - dream opportunity for her and we were sad to see her go. She was kind of irreplaceable but my and DHs jobs are quite long hours. Moving to private meant a longer day AND good afterschool clubs (something that never really recovered post covid at our primary) so I could continue my job. I genuinely would’ve had to quit otherwise.

we moved mid year, which wasn’t ideal but did mean the eldest avoided SATs entirely which was a positive.

we also were excited by the sports opportunities- though tbh I underestimated just how dominant that was at prep level, have got used to it now and love the fact that sport is baked into their school week.

its not perfect but achievement is really celebrated, which suits mine as they are naturally competitive. But it’s also a very accepting environment - DD is a little unconventional and she has a gorgeous group of friends. Nobody is excluded/pushed out and behaviour issues are dealt with very swiftly.

That’s true for many, in particular those with one child. When you weigh up the cost of moving, including stamp duty and mortgage interest payments, it is often more viable to simply stay where you are and use private schools.

This is more of a factor for those who are funding private school through salary as the likelihood is that you won’t have a huge lump sum available to move house so will therefore be paying additional mortgage interest. Those who are funded by GP or inheritance are in a slightly different situation as they could move house far more cheaply.

We are planning to send our DC to private school from Reception. At current prices it’ll be around 200k for 14 years at the school we have chosen.

If we were to move to a similar house in the nearest decent state school catchment area our total costs would likely be higher. A similar property in that area would cost around 175-200k more. At current mortgage rates yr 1 additional interest would be not far off 10k. Thats pretty much the same as the annual fees at the pre-prep school.

Of course when interest rates were set at a very low level for many years this calculation looked very different however house price inflation plus interest rate rises has changed things dramatically. It invariably now makes economic sense for couples like us with 1 child living in a property they like but in a poor state catchment area to stay where we are and use private schools.