To ask why you send your children to private school?

[WhatWorks]

Just that really. I think it would be interesting to see the spread and variety of reasons why people make certain educational choices.

For mine, it's about the values at our catchment state school. I am sure that most schools in most areas are quite inclusive. Unfortunately, children at our local school say things like "I don't play with (insert ethnic minority here) children" to non-white children. If they like an ethnic minority child, they tell them "you aren't (ethnic minority), you're white like us." Teachers do nothing about this sort of behavior, so we've gone elsewhere.

So, what are your reasons for sending your child/children to private school?

One of mine goes because it’s named on her EHCP and suits her. Another will probably be the same before too long.

'Touring the state schools near me was horrifying' - how very mumsnet

Our DC started school in the independent sector because he was very prem and very young in year. It seemed much simpler to send him to a private school and defer a year.

However, despite the school being a large, well established and well regarded school, we were totally disillusioned with it by Yr4 and left to go to local primary. There was really nothing there for the academic child. The amount of sport was absurd. The curriculum was stale having been endlessly regurgitated for decades.

This makes me sad. All the things listed sound fab. Such a shame my child and most others won’t have these opportunities. The bit about ‘enjoying’ school rather than ‘enduring’ really hit a nerve.

Our local state schools are pretty good, but we've been financially fortunate and have enough surplus money that we don't need for any other specific purpose. So thinking about the things that I'd want to splurge on most, and I felt that education was most important to me. DCs would have been fine at state school, but the private school is just nicer, with small class sizes, extracurriculars, sport, facilities, excellent food and specialist teachers. It takes their breadth and knowledge up a notch beyond good English and maths skills (which I think most state schools do well on). We aren't sacrificing anything to go private and still have holidays and days out, a nice house etc.

@Hbradley over almost 200,000 children in this country get a full or partial bursary, so definitely check with your local schools. Part of the reason I was attracted to a particular school was because it did 100% bursaries for kids that needed them.

I look forward to the day that the government invests enough in state schools to make them all as good or better than the private option.

I don't have children but I am a teacher 8n a prep school and the most common reasons parents use us are:

1. they have children with neurodiversity or learning needs that mean they haven't been coping in the state system.
2. broader/better curricular and co curricular oppirtunitues.
3. smaller class sizes and more individual attention for them and their children.
4. family tradition/lots of money/just what they 'do' (this mindset just wouldn't have state schools on their radar).

Oh, and wraparound care is a common reason too.

My kids both have SEN and the private provision works a thousand times better for them.

Bright child with dyslexia, was getting no support at primary level. Hasn't looked back in an all through school with an excellent provision.
Second child has no sen requirements but didn't feel right to treat them differently. They are very different children but thriving in their own way.

It's crippling cost wise though and we're very much in the lower end of the market fees wise - between £5500 and £6k per term. I don't know how people manage in London / SE where it's closer to £8k.
I don't know what we'll do if 20% car gets slapped on.

I didn't go to private school and have no issue with state at all if my kids get what they need. They enjoy a lot of frills at private school they could easily do without and frankly would be good for them. I'm not comfortable with the level of privilege they enjoy but they're too young to really appreciate their world is massively different to most.

I'll still vote labour though. Couldn't bring myself to vote for Boris last time around, his replacement(s) have been no more honourable if less clownish.

My ex-SIL sent her kids private because she didn't want to teach them to read herself and also because the wide range of before and after-school clubs meant she had more time at home without them.

SEN that wouldn’t be even partially met in a state school, but not severe enough for one of the extremely limited spaces in a special school, now at an independent specialist school and thriving.

Reasons:

1. Smaller class size so more individual attention which my child needs, amazing extracurricular, good wrap around care,
2. no charts peg charts on the wall that put kids in the “naughty” zone right away etc. which I saw in the outstanding state schools near us - that’s not an approach I can get behind.
3. We are a very academic family - DH and I met at Oxford, my anticipation/hope is that our child (likely an only) has this potential too and we want to give him the best opportunity to fulfill it.
4. We can afford it - though do need to sacrifice posh cars and flash holidays etc - but I wouldn’t enjoy them knowing that they had come at the expense of DC’s opportunities.
5. I went to private school from age 8, academic scholarship covering most of the fees the whole way through. My brothers also went but this was because they both had SEN and weren’t coping in state systems - so this system has worked well for my family and I want the same for my DC
6. I feel huge guilt about it as it’s not the “morally correct choice”, but I met a few people at university that had been sent to state schools by privately educated parents as a “moral act” and they were all so odd - the leaders of the Baby Conservatives types - think Jacob Rees Mog. I don’t want that outcome for our DC.

I don’t have kids in school yet but I was sent to private school because I was bullied in my state school and the teachers turned a blind eye. At my private school they didn’t tolerate bullying and really fostered a supportive atmosphere for pupils. I am so glad I was able to go there.

I have boys who were in a wonderful primary until year 3 but by that point they were bouncing off the walls with the lack of sport - their private school has sport every afternoon, with multiple teams available for selection (plus small class sizes and everything else), but for us the sport was the main issue - particularly as the local secondary also has v limited sports opportunities.

Secondary school was a bearpit and DD (ASD) desperately unhappy. Secondary tried really hard but they had to spend most of their time fire fighting.

Now in small nurturing private school (funded by grandparents) and she is so much happier although making good use of their excellent pastoral are to try and undo some of the damage caused by state school.

It's so sad that state schools are often so unable to meet the needs of kids resulting in chaos for all - I wish I knew what the answer was.

Where we live is a posh, but urban, part of London. The local state secondary schools are pretty bad unless you are determined, confident and academically above average, DD is none of these. Local private schools are much smaller with generally good behaviour. DH and I both went to London private schools, why would we choose different for DD if we can afford it? We only had one to pay for as DS is severely autistic and has always been in special provision.

I work in admissions in a state school. We often get applications from children at private boarding school who have been horrendously bullied and let down by their teachers, who seem unwilling to really tackle the bullying because, well, money talks. Also kids whose SEN needs are not met at private schools because the schools are selective and the needs didn't become apparent until the children had already started, and the schools are just not set up for it, or willing to deal with it.

These quiet, gentle children deserve better and they do get better at a much more inclusive state school.

We did private to 10 then homeschooled due to severe bullying. Going back to private for 6th form.

Reasons are - No decent 6th form colleges nearby that have good teaching in the area dd has chosen to focus on. The private school she's chosen has incredible teaching and facilities. Lots of amazing extra curricular activities too. Dd has a scholarship to go there.

If we don’t get the state schools that DD will be able to cope with (Due to her SEN) then she’ll be going to private.

We had intended to use state secondary, but her SEN limits possibilities if I don’t want a desperately unhappy school refuser, and on the stats, we’re very unlikely to get in where she will cope.

Additional benefits to private will be that (1) there is amazing sporting, musical and other wrap around provision (2) it’s academically ambitious so will meet her needs (3) they offer some subjects of significant interest to her which they wouldn’t at the state school (4) it’s a girls only school (5) the food is better!

On the down side (1) it’s less diverse (racially) - not homogeneous but the stats are not as great as her current school (2) she won’t be able to carry one with one of her extra curricular activities (3) the fees plus additional costs for trips etc mean budgeting is a must and (4) some of her friends may be a bit far flung.

My daughter is very academic and a general all rounder in sports and arts.

She had excellent teachers (bar one) from Reception to Y4 who did an excellent job in stretching her etc and they all encouraged me to sit her for 11+ exams as they thought grammar/private would be the best fit for her.

By Y5 the ‘nerd’ jibes started and that teacher was either less capable or didn’t think extensions were important, so I thought, ‘why not’?

Actually put her forward for the 10+ exams for a local private school and she passed with flying colours (they said), so paid for her to do Y6 there, as by then she was no longer enjoying her primary school.

She excelled, loved the environment and all the extra curricular activities, so wanted to stay. Luckily she was awarded a 50% scholarship and full bursary for the remainder of the fees, so it was a no-brainer.

If not, grammar was the next option as even our once excellent Catholic secondary which was first choice for state school has descended into chaos. Our local secondary schools are really struggling with behaviour management, which is really affecting achievement.

We’re thankful everyday for the opportunity and I still think she’s in the right place for her.

For me it was mainly class sizes and extra sports like swimming lessons every week since they were 2.5 at nursery, karate, skateboarding etc. Plus the wraparound care.

We have the opposite. My DS is only year 2, but we have had multiple kids join in the middle of the years due to needs not being met at local state schools and for bullying. Aged 7! It's so sad.

Two of my GC go to a private secondary school, one on an academic scholarship.

What do they they out of it? - opportunities by the bucket load, especially musical ones. They sing in splendid choirs and play every day and have had the chance to travel the country, sharing their love of music. Even those who did not see themselves as musical are drawn in to all the joy it brings.

There is a sense that it is actually OK to want to study, whilst also recognising their need to have fun. The clubs and societies and experiences are legion.

And they are in small classes, so discipline problems simply do not happen - they get on with their work undisturbed.

And it is ethnically diverse, and socially. Lots of the children, including my own GSs, come from state primaries. And there are bursaries and scholarships, and outreach to state schools to share their opportunities.

Some of my other GC go to state schools, and the difference saddens me. I wish I had the money to give them all these opportunities. There are too many of them!