To ask why you send your children to private school?

[WhatWorks]

Just that really. I think it would be interesting to see the spread and variety of reasons why people make certain educational choices.

For mine, it's about the values at our catchment state school. I am sure that most schools in most areas are quite inclusive. Unfortunately, children at our local school say things like "I don't play with (insert ethnic minority here) children" to non-white children. If they like an ethnic minority child, they tell them "you aren't (ethnic minority), you're white like us." Teachers do nothing about this sort of behavior, so we've gone elsewhere.

So, what are your reasons for sending your child/children to private school?

Do you find that funny in some way? It’s statistically true, and certainly in our experience the private school is much more diverse than the state offerings. Reality in our city (as in many) is that some areas are mostly white, some are mostly minority ethnic groups. When state schools recruit with a catchment area they obviously reflect the local population. Our private school takes kids from all over the city, it is much more diverse and that’s a positive for us.

My sons state primary is really diverse thank goodness. Its also rated as outstanding. I actually have the opposite concern. There would be a lot less diversity at the local private prep. (I know because he has a friend there and ive talked to the dad). But this varies on area. Some private schools have a very diverse cohort
Ofcourse, he'll have extra curriculars on top and as a former teacher I can tutor him in my subject.

Where I used to live, all state schools bar one were as white as the driven snow. Catchment areas and full rolls meant clear segregation.The local private was much much more ethnically diverse.

I will admit one local private has a reputation for admitting “local, settled families” which obviously means white English. That actively put us off! We are white British but wanted more diversity.

So my kids are currently in yr7. They are in the local school and doing well. But I've been offered the opportunity to put them into the private school I work in. 100% bursary. Of course I accepted. Its the extra curricular activities which have swung it for me. The sporting/language and drama opportunities are incredible.

Wider range of extra curricular opportunities...sport, music, drama etc. Smaller classes. We have used state but post covid my bright but not the best, well behaved children were just overlooked. Behaviour had a also taken a downturn. We just wanted a lovely, nurturing environment where it is cool to try and be involved in loads of things. Sufficient academic push with a full emphasis on subjects beyond maths and English.

What? All the children at your local state are racist? That’s a bit of a stretch surely.

@NotGoingToLie it's the culture, not every kid. A handful of kids who express those views, plus a school culture that makes that behaviour acceptable/cool= a very hostile school for any ethnic minority child

Why? Around me the state provision is generally very white. Although we are too, the independent we are now in has massively increased ethnic diversity. I see that as a really positive thing and it's another small pull factor.

This needs to be challenged, and reported - the school has to act, and if they are not acting, this needs to be reported as well. It will only continue if people are not reporting it

Will anyone be honest and say they just didn’t want their kids mixing with the riffraff? Lots of wide eyed comments about being stretched etc etc but plenty of people can’t contemplate their children having to rough it in a state school.

What kind of diversity? There are many measures of diversity. But saying private schools are more diverse to somehow justify your choice - and I don’t think anyone needs to do so - is a load of nonsense.

@NotGoingToLie definitely ethnic, not financial. At least not at the prep school.

We were really happy with our local infant school but when our DS moved into the junior school things weren't so good.
He was bright and easily reaching their targets but they had no interest in giving him work at his level.
Once you are in the private system you can get carried along into private secondary too as all their friends are going there.

I don’t think it’s really fair to criticise a state school in a non diverse area for not having a diverse intake?! What are they supposed to do!

Also it’s not diverse as it’s segregated by wealth. I worked in the City in an international team and my colleagues were like the United Nations in terms of ethnic diversity but everyone was private school educated (except me ha) / wealthy families /intelligent/ qualified as lawyers. Most of them were in an international wealthy social set l. So were actually really similar demographic despite different nationalities. They were all similar to each other but were all world away from the people I went to school with.

Avoiding DC from different backgrounds isn’t a driver. I see the lack of socioeconomic diversity as a disadvantage, and donate to the bursary fund to try and help improve it.

Or do you mean avoiding bad behaviour and disrupted classrooms? Yes, that is a driver. I’ve seen parents on MN argue that it’s good for DC to experience this, as it’s the real world and toughens them up. I understand the argument, but disagree.

I don’t think anybody’s criticising state schools for their (lack of) ethnic diversity, it’s just the way catchments work. But it is noticeable that privates are usually more ethnically diverse.

Obviously at least at primary level they are not economically diverse - once you get to secondary you start getting kids on bursaries so there’s a bit more of a range.

But even state schools aren’t always economically diverse - I grew up in an area where the affluent areas had much better state schools and the poorer areas were much worse. There was a massive economic divide between the kids in those schools.

Anyway, there are many different types of diversity. For us the school’s ability to handle neuro-diversity was the biggest issue.

I love it that my sociable teen has friends from the two extreme ends of the social spectrum. That’s proper diversity.

Not yet but we are considering the local private for secondary. Putting cost factors aside the main advantages we see are

-extra curricular activities (not just sport). The school day is somewhat longer to incorporate them and we feel the DCs will just get a more rounded experience

-DCs are bright and would likely do fine at state but having been to both state and private myself I believe they would be more academically pushed at private- and would respond well to this

-local state options are ok but underfunded and teachers clearly overworked and underpaid. I don’t think that sort of environment is going to be the best for learning

I am a Labour voter and fairly morally opposed to the idea that we have a two tier system tbh. But at the end of the day it’s natural to want the best for your dc if you are lucky enough to be able to afford private.

The counter argument to this is that it’s definitely a good thing to learn to be able to muck along with everyone (eg in a state). At the end of the day unless you’re in the extremely privileged category you’re going to have to learn to work with people from all walks of life, not just the rich ones.

I applied for my daughter but she was not accepted to the two I applied for. So she will be going to a state school.

my reasoning is because I am in London and work in secondaries in the area. Her current primary school struggle to meet her needs and in secondary it will be even tougher on her.

Teachers struggle to meet the needs of children. This is absolutely not an attack on teachers. The current pressures on teachers are ridiculous and it only trickles down to the children.

children and teachers are no longer given the support needed.

There seems to be ridiculous consequences and sanctions for unnecessary reasons, for example not wearing your blazer during 30 degree heat and being forced into isolation.

Due to the lower class numbers in private education, teachers can focus more on individuals and parent/teacher communication seems to be far more effective.

Because my SEN kid was physically attacked by a group of kids at his outstanding state school. Huge amounts of time and money spent on helping him to recover (it will take years) and now huge amounts of money spent on giving him a safe environment in which to learn. The teachers at his old school cared, but they were too stretched and the school too big for them to support him or any other child going through it. And there were many other children going through it. Moved other DC out of the school soon afterwards. They both say they feel sad for the children who are still there and enduring it every day. Essentially the school is too big, too underfunded and the teachers too stressed to be able to provide the environment they desperately want to. And this is an outstanding "leafy comp" in a wealthy area that people move to get their children into. Makes me so angry.

I sent mine because they didn't pass the 11 plus and the other school in catchment was dire. She went into a class of ten pupils and had a great time and a brilliant education.

My son did not get in to the nearest four state schools due to oversubscription. He was offered a place across the borough in a huge council estate. So from A rated schools he was offered one way down the scale no where near where we lived. My husband was a high earner and we decided to send him to an 'alternative' independent (actually the choice was not really up to us as that was the only school with places available). Having no experience with private schools or the education system in this country I had no idea you didn't just go to your nearest school. Or just how alternative the school they went to was. Anyway after my husband died I had to move to a cheaper area and looked at schools - all were poor but there was a co ed non selective private school that went through A levels and got good results do they went there until sixth form - my son went to a vocational college and my DD and I moved when it was her time back to London where she went to a selective all girls school. I don't regret the expense one bit.

My kids aren’t school age yet but in the late 90s:

-I was sent to private secondary due to my catchment school being in special measures, a terrible impression on the open day, and physical bullying by boys in my state primary.

-My DH was moved to a primary as the state primary was really holding him back academically, especially with reading.

I agree with the PP that said for one child, it may be affordable as it is similar to nursery fees.

I probably won’t be able to afford it but ideally i’d also want my kids to have a single-sex education from secondary.