To ask why you send your children to private school?

[WhatWorks]

Just that really. I think it would be interesting to see the spread and variety of reasons why people make certain educational choices.

For mine, it's about the values at our catchment state school. I am sure that most schools in most areas are quite inclusive. Unfortunately, children at our local school say things like "I don't play with (insert ethnic minority here) children" to non-white children. If they like an ethnic minority child, they tell them "you aren't (ethnic minority), you're white like us." Teachers do nothing about this sort of behavior, so we've gone elsewhere.

So, what are your reasons for sending your child/children to private school?

@Sausage77 Another here! The local primary has no ethnic diversity whatsoever. My DS's private school has a complete mixture of ethnicities and faiths. (And, on the note of diversity, 1 of the kids in my son's year has 2 mummies, another has 2 daddies and I love that it is the norm for him - not that that's a private vs State difference, I just want him to grow up knowing we are all the same).

I disagree with this. I have 4 DC. 2 have been/are going through the grammar system. They are single sex so DC2 had a different experience to DC 1. I absolutely can not fault DC2 school. She has had lots of opportunities for sport/music/drama etc, the academics are brilliant and overall behaviour is very good. She has the opportunity to go private for 6th form but honestly it does not offer her anything more than her current school so she is going to stay there.

DC3 is not as academic as the others. Our local school is poor, he has a mild learning need, loves sports which aren't offered and would generally just be ignored so we sent him privately. I am very pleased that we did.
DC4 will likely be offered a place at the same grammar as DC1 but we weren't impressed with that school at all so we will send them privately too.

Because they all got full scholarships and I swore when i had my first baby that they would never go to the local inner city comprehensive. If you had the misfortune to pass the school gates your ears were assaulted by every other word being the 'F' word! Not sure what i would have done if they hadn't have been academically bright...... home school or move i guess🤷
My youngest went at 6 and was the only white kid in his class so yes@Sausage77 they can be more ethnically diverse dependent on the area you live in.

@Mossstitch my DD15 who is at private school swears all the time - she thinks it's funny. DS18 who is at a state grammar school wouldn't dare swear in my presence.

Because the only offered state school was in chaos. Even Ofsted said it wasn't safe, that they had no idea who was on-site, 'that the younger pupils were at risk of sexual assault by the older ones'.

Plus DS is a 'maths head' and the state school only managed to get 41% of boys through GCSE maths which is appalling. How can 59% fail? It's only GCSE for heaven's sake.

DS wanted to go for a maths scholarship at the small local indie, I said he could try, and he was awarded it.

So I've spent every penny for the last 5 years, on (reduced) school fees. GCSEs in a few months, then A'levels. DS is happy and has turned into a lovely, kind, intelligent, confident young man. That alone makes it worth it.

Love the posts claiming ethnic diversity was a major reason for sending their kids to a private school 😂

Why? It's true. There are 2 schools in the village where I live - the primary school and the prep school. Primary - approx 3% non white British. Prep - approx 25-30% non white British (around 10% Indian, 10% Black, 5% South East Asian plus some Eastern European/Spanish/Australian/American/South African).

I didn't put it on my list because it's not one of the more common reasons we hear for children coming to us but it is a reason for a few. For some parents, having other children from their own children's race, culture or background is important to them.

This is lovely. I feel the same way.

For a good all round education and to be stretched and challenged.

Because I could afford it and it was just a nicer school.

Yes! I found that moving too, because OP is right.

Dd with suspected SEN, and half of what makes school challenging disappeared when moved to private due to smaller class size, greater capacity and expectation for child specific adaptation, and far better behaviour that creates a calmer environment. We also get additional support (which we pay for), but which wouldn’t have been available at state. My dd has ‘mild’ Sen, which means not very disruptive and academically capable, but also meant she was white knuckling state school with very little support.

the other reason was the focus on holistic education rather than SATS. State school seemed to focus exclusively on getting children to pass SATS, while private is happy to move at a slower pace sometimes for phonics or math but always ensures time for hands on learning, physical movement and topical study that ignites children’s interest. Both DD LOVE school, which in itself makes it worthwhile for me - they are excited to go in each day, and disappointed if I try to collect them early (before after school clubs/care). School is definitely a joy for them, and not something they have to ‘endure’

And there was guaranteed care before and after school with plenty of staff to ensure it didn't fall through
Small classes was a big draw - I didn't want DC struggling without being able to get help because of class size

Would I do it again? Maybe not from the start as I did but it's impossible to say how it would have panned out.

I payed £££ for full boarding at sixth form though which I have no regrets over at all

Because he has ASD and just can't cope with a large state secondary school. The last state school he was at, were great and put plenty of adjustments in place, but he still didn't manage. He's in year 13 now and I think we might have to send his younger sister next year - she's year 7 and already starting to refuse to go. We can't afford more than one set of private school fees or I would move her now.

I’m an American, in the US, so apologies in advance if any terminology is unfamiliar.

Our kids go to the local Catholic elementary so they can have a religious education, and because the class sizes are smaller. Also, while it has a large minority of children from immigrant families, they all speak English; the young children from immigrant families who go to the nearby public schools generally don’t speak English well, and require a lot of extra time and energy from the teachers because of that. A lot of people have pulled their kids from the public schools because it’s very hard for kids to get individual attention if they speak English fluently and don’t have a disability. The teachers are only human, and time is a finite resource.

We really like the size of the Catholic school. There are two classes per grade and the teachers know who all the kids are, even if they haven’t personally taught them.

Early years it was definitely the wrap around care at no extra cost that was a big draw, but first and foremost was the feel of the school. Very outdoors, sports, academically selective everything our local village school wasn’t. DS’s year at the local school was extremely top heavy with girls and they mixed years, so although advertised as small class size they actually taught two years at a time so 1 to 30 ratio.
DS had a choice at senior level, he had friends at the local state and it would have been a good fit, he could also have gone back to private at 6th form but the sports provision was poor.
DS loved school, although the pandemic had a negative impact, school provided full curriculum online but DS missed being in school.
Throughout he never once refused school or tried to pull a sicky. In fact on the rare occasion he had to have time off sick he would moan. He has a strong group of friends, and I suspect they will be friends for life. There is a strong alumni that encourages networking, something that is evident as they reach 6th form.

Dd is autistic and situationally mute, but is bright and very well behaved. She was horribly bullied at primary school, and our local secondaries are very large and haven’t got great reputations for pastoral care etc. She’s thriving in a very small independent school, where she gets more time on the creative subjects she really excels at - in our catchment state secondary, they get to do art only one term a year (and also music and drama - they rotate). I was very lucky to inherit the equivalent of two years’ school fees from a relative, we have a small house bought 17 years ago have paid off the mortgage, so really we’re choosing private school over moving to a bigger house. Some of the mums from her primary class got really snarky with me saying how lucky we are to be able to afford it - we are, but some of them have recently bought big houses more than twice the current value of ours and don’t realise how hard we’ve worked to save and economise.

my dear son in law was severely traumatized by his educational experiences in the 1990's. state school with horrendous disruption (chair throwing, windows open and kids sitting on the window ledges, teachers screaming etc.) low expectations, poor opportunities, bullying.

subsequently he swore to never send his kids to state school.
it's not about grades or outcomes it's about a pleasant nice atmosphere with kind students and staff.
although schools have changed since 90's manchester, he is simply not willing to try state including the grammar system.

No one in our family has ever been privately educated, and we had no thought of it until our dd started at our local primary and I looked at secondary options . Nearest one was 'failing' with only 37% of kids getting 5 GCSEs. Other ones were an hour's journey each way. My dd was on the G&T list in her primary school, so she went to a selective independent school 15 mins away. She later got three scholarships and a huge bursary. We paid less than third of the regular fees and couldn't have done it without the reductions. Now at RG uni. No regrets.

Our local state school is loud and chaotic. The teachers are reactive and regularly leave so there are lots of supply teachers. This is not an assumption - I have a child there.

The private school is calm, has high expectations, is supportive, has lots of sport, it is more like the fabulous state school I went to than the current state school offering,

I stretch to pay for the nicer education for those of my children who can/want to access it because I want them to be calm and happy at school and able to achieve whatever they're capable of,

I have no regrets about the private school at all. I worry endlessly about the child I have in the state system but don't know how to change the situation.

High functioning autism. Distraught child begging to be allowed to sit and work in the corridor away from the chaos in the classroom.
Came home from first day at new school over the moon that the children sat facing the teacher and there was no shouting, throwing or running around in class. As it should be IMO. I resent having to pay so much for it.

I don’t send my child to private school but I wished I did. Dd is in year 1. Her primary is rated good and is in an affluent area. Parents of children in DDs year are mostly middle class, educated and successful - lawyers, teachers, doctors. This is a gradual shift from a more working class catchment. The school has a nice ethos, and is diverse and international (we live in a large city). On paper it seemed pretty good. In reality I’ve been surprised at just how bad things are. The building is cramped and shabby, teaching seems very, very focused on curriculum tick boxes, classroom is chaotic. My DD is bored.

if we’d stuck to one child I would have gone private in a heartbeat. Unfortunately we can’t afford to send two children. DS nursery costs £18k a year at the moment. we’ll reconsider for secondary, as hopefully will have saved the money and be mortgage free by then.

Enjoyed rather than endured sums it up.

Even at a naice state primary, I had seen the issues of underfunding, rigid curriculum, gender stereotypes, unmet SEN, disruptive behaviour and lack of time and ability to teach sport, music and drama play out.

I had a choice of super selective grammar, Ofsted excellent local comp and private at secondary. I chose private, hoping for a broader curriculum, bespoke pastoral care, music/drama/sport encouraged for everyone no matter what their abilities, a calm atmosphere and academic excellence. And that’s what I’ve got.

@Charlingspont I think bullying is about the values of the individual school. A school I attended had appalling behaviour, because the expectation was that the children could sort themselves out. Meanwhile the primary my family use has no bullying (as reported by the parents) due to antibullying ambassadors, strong anti bullying policies ...etc. With private there was no catchments, so I could pick the school that chose to have that ethos, rather than be forced to use the bullying-heavy catchment school

@LorlieS congratulations to your son, that's a massive achievement. I think it's about the right school for the right child. The best state schools near me (the ones that get results that aren't "well below average") are massively oversubscribed and out of catchment, so inaccessible to my family. If you live in the right area and your child has the right temperament, state can work very well. If those factors don't come together, private becomes a consideration

We looked around our state catchment and I came out in tears I was so deflated, it was clearly over crowded, under funded, the reception class had to share space with the dining hall which just seems to disruptive.
Looked at 2 other states and 3 private's. Fell in love with one of them and that's where they now go. You can just so clearly see and feel the attention they get, better funded, happy teachers, so much extra curricular activities and experiences , small class sizes, diverse, healthy meals. Just love it, want to give my children the best chance at everything in life x

Yes this is by far and away the most common way around - state just cannot cater for a huge majority with SEN. It shouldn’t be this way around, but it is. There is no capacity to give the attention some of these children require in state - which is illustrated by the fact private schools are named on EHCPs (and fees paid), by the government. Essentially accepting themselves that this is the case.