Wedding Dress Code - Only Black Allowed

[YorkshirePuddingsGreatestFan]

I'm going to a wedding but the bride has specified that all guests must wear black only and no colours. Not even coloured shoes or accessories. Herself and the groom will both be wearing white.

She's seen a video online which I've looked at with a black dress code. However that wedding is outdoors in sunny weather. The women are all wearing clothes that show plenty of skin - bare arms, bare legs, low necklines in lightweight fabrics. The various shades of skin breaks the black clothing up and it looks ok.

This wedding is in the winter in a very cold location, so I'll need to be wearing heavier fabric with long sleeves, high neckline and thick tights on. I would imagine the other women will be covering up to keep warm. I don't think it'll work as there will be no skin to break the black colour up. I think we'll all just look like one big black lump with several heads on the group photos!

I also don't suit black at all. I'm very pale skinned and it makes me look washed out and unwell. My mother has pale skin and is also concerned about this.

Just wondering if anyone has been to a wedding with such a strict dress code and how did it turn out?

Love a black frock but you’re at liberty to decline.

Men can also regret ignoring the massive red flags and marrying controlling wonen.

And when you're throwing insults at me @StockpotSoup, it's worth either quoting me or @ me! Otherwise, I may miss your lovely comments

I like wearing black and have several black dresses (also pale skinned but I think black suits me), so outfit wouldn't be such an issue but the idea seems oppressive. Why do some people want to dictate everything like this? I'd consider declining the invite to be honest, depending on who was doing the inviting and who else was going.

Also even black clothes may have gilt/ coloured buttons or beading etc. Where would you draw the line? Maybe just 'including black' would work better and produce more artistic photos, but really you'd need a costume designer for everyone to pull it all together, like on stage or in a film set. Crazy!

I genuinely don't, unless you count one pair of jeans and a hoodie!

In which case you don't fall under the category of "most"

There's a big gap between has some black in their wardrobe and has black in their wardrobe suitable for a cold winter wedding venue though? I've got loads of black stuff but nothing that would be suitable for this particular occasion. Making it black and white at least widens the net a bit.

How about wearing a black lace dress with nude lining?

I can't get the image of the ghetto clearance in Schindlers List out of my mind - everyone in black and white, and then just one eye-catching splash of red!

This is why people don't invite me to things like this...

Churches are normally heated too.

It is quite rare, IME for historic Churches to be warm in Winter.
Last year I went to a November wedding in a very old Church and it was freezing. They had put some heaters on, but they couldn't cope with the volume they were trying to heat. Full credit to the wonderful people from the congregation who were literally offering guests blankest they had crocheted and collected to keep people warm.
Plus, the OP has specifically been told it will be cold in this Church.

Me neither now @PonyPatter44

It's odd to choose a venue that you know will be cold and uncomfortable for guests. The church maybe can't be helped, but you'd want the reception to be comfortable, not chilly. They've not really thought this through properly

Wow, it sounds more enticing by the minute!

Who on earth has their wedding and reception, in winter, in venues where everyone is going to be cold?

To be fair, most people have some black in their wardrobe so shouldn't be a major issue for most.

I have a couple of black merino polonecks, an oversized black hemp top, three pair of trackpants, and my work skirt - none of which could be worn to a wedding! Not everyone likes black, especially for "dressing up".

I hate black clothes. Don't own any at all. An all black dress code will look like competitive grieving.

However, if this is what a friend wanted, I'd get myself to a charity shop or on eBay and find something suitable. I'd then give it back to charity afterwards.

I've been to a few weddings with clothing rules. Not my style at all (my invitation said "wear what you want" on it). It's not my wedding though and if they wanted me looking washed out and unlike myself in every single way, I'd do it.

I wouldn’t go and I would say why. Bloody bonkers

Thanks for the comments and links for possible clothing ideas. It's helped me process my own thoughts.

I love the bride to bits and haven't said a word to her as I don't want to sour the relationship between us. I have none of the negative emotions that I've been accused of towards her.

I don't mind what they do for the rest of the wedding. Venue, flowers, meal, cake, bridesmaid dresses etc., are all their choice and I'm happy to contribute towards it.

I still think it's wrong telling guests they must wear a specific colour though.

It is normal for old churches to be cold.

It sounds silly to me, but it’s at the very least easy. Not hard to find a black outfit, you can wear it again and it’s usually associated with warm clothing.

I would double check she really means all black rather than black tie. Just in case.

@NewName24 I have visited churches in summer as a way of respite from warmth on occasions, never mind how cold some are in winter. One I went to a few years ago was so cold the priest forgot part of the service!

Does anyone wear 'black tie' to church weddings? Men's suits fine, women's 'black tie' attire in a cold church would be odd and uncomfortable wouldn't it?

Yes it would @ErrolTheDragon. But then, so is an all black dress code.

Not in the same way given that funerals are often held in cold churches, and 'all black' says nothing about the style. Stipulating all black is weird and inhospitable but it's not necessarily inappropriate clothes.

I would really struggle with this. I don't have any plain black dresses (really even my funeral clothes are black with some sort of pattern), plain black shoes, no black coats/jackets and no plain black bag. I'd have to go out and buy everything, look awful and I bet none of the stuff I bought would be the same colour black.

Oh and also my Husband doesn't own a black suit, shirt or tie. So we'd be spending a load on outfits.