Wedding Dress Code - Only Black Allowed

[YorkshirePuddingsGreatestFan]

I'm going to a wedding but the bride has specified that all guests must wear black only and no colours. Not even coloured shoes or accessories. Herself and the groom will both be wearing white.

She's seen a video online which I've looked at with a black dress code. However that wedding is outdoors in sunny weather. The women are all wearing clothes that show plenty of skin - bare arms, bare legs, low necklines in lightweight fabrics. The various shades of skin breaks the black clothing up and it looks ok.

This wedding is in the winter in a very cold location, so I'll need to be wearing heavier fabric with long sleeves, high neckline and thick tights on. I would imagine the other women will be covering up to keep warm. I don't think it'll work as there will be no skin to break the black colour up. I think we'll all just look like one big black lump with several heads on the group photos!

I also don't suit black at all. I'm very pale skinned and it makes me look washed out and unwell. My mother has pale skin and is also concerned about this.

Just wondering if anyone has been to a wedding with such a strict dress code and how did it turn out?

For what? I'm perfectly capable of sending a polite decline to the invitation without needing to close my eyes and hum first.

My laughing and eye rolling at their rudeness I'm happy to keep doing thanks!

Hope your judgy pants are more comfortable than the black outfit you wouldn’t wear.
Oh they absolutely are, thanks.

I cant even imagine asking for this, it’s really cringe and inconsiderate to anyone else. I suppose however if it were in a warm location or in summer it would be easier but she’s essentially expecting guests to have decent warm black jackets or coats. So seems no thought to her guests. Yes I know it’s her day but really lacks any grace or class to me.

So you've supported the groom "all his life?"

Are you about to drip feed you're the mother of the groom or something?

Not very flattering though

If it were a summer wedding you just know people would equally be complaining about having to wear black on a hot day!

When I was growing up all black was a big NO at weddings. It was considered bad luck.

I would quite happily wear judgy pants in this case.

Weddings are about the couple getting married and about the guests. I don't want to be part of the decor. I don't want to be in the wedding photos.

I would wear black in this case, but it would be my many years old black coat that I wear to funerals and other black clothes I already own.

I think it depends on the wedding and is useful if you are going to a wedding that is different to what you have been to before eg I went to a Sikh wedding and the dress code was: No black, No white, no legs on show and cover your head in the gurdwara.

I was at a christening a couple of years ago and some of the outfits worn by some of the godmothers (there were about 10 children) had more flesh on display than I think is suitable in a church.

Is it annoying, yes. Might you not look your best, yes. But is the day about you, no. And is it worth consuming you so much you make a post about it, also no. With kindness, let it go.

Jesus. So much drama. No one is going to be looking at you and thinking "OMG Pudding looks so pale and ill!" But they will definitely think you're ridiculous if you refuse to go because you didn't want to wear black. Just wear black and stop thinking this day is about you.

She's brought it all on herself and I wouldn't want to go to this wedding, so it's a blessed relief to not be invited!

Honestly, if this was a child having a party and they said no one can come unless they're dressed like a princess or prince, they'd be told (hopefully!) that that's not the way to treat your friends.

It's so crazy

Everyone saying you should respect the bride’s choice, what about the groom, it’s not his choice either. Not a good start to a marriage when all the bride cares about is what the photos will look like on SM

Oh what fun, imagine telling all the children they can be bridesmaids / page boys if they wish. Dress code fancy dress. I wish I'd thought of that when planning my wedding

Could you hire a black dress if you don't suit the colour? I never wear black either but if forced to, would hire something I think. Choose a dress with a low neckline/shoulder and put a bit of fake tan on.

Maybe she decided that it was the only way to eliminate all of the rows about wearing black, wearing red, wearing something white, wearing something beige, wearing something green, wearing something that looks like a wedding dress, clashing with the bridesmaids, being brighter than the bride, blokes turning up in Hawaiian shirts and boardshorts, novelty ties, etc, etc.

If all else fails, the photos can be in black and white and they'd look fine.

I think some people on this thread have no idea just how bad some of us look wearing black. I avoid black clothing for funerals because the deceased will look healthier than me!

A few years ago I had to wear a black T shirt for a performance event. I was wearing make up including a bright lipstick. All day long I had people asking me if I was unwell, did I feel ok because you look so pale etc.

@NeverDropYourMooncup ha!

IRL, I've never known anyone wear a dress which looks like a wedding dress to someone else's wedding though. Only an idiot would do that or someone completely unhinged!

But I've definitely been told no pastels by a bride. That was a weird one.

The no green / no bright colours etc thing is quite old fashioned I think and nobody argues about it IRL.

The other thing people often say on here is something is "too revealing for a wedding". Hot pants / thong bikini aside, I think anything goes at weddings these days (and if the bride is just very traditional and wants to avoid anyone getting it "wrong", she can't stop people showing skin if they wear all black)!

I once went to a wedding where the dress code was 'medieval'. Pointy hats, men in tights, the works. I'm sure it sounded wonderfully romantic in the bride's head but 21st century beer guts, glasses and hairstyles spoiled the effect somewhat. It was like a cross between Lord of the Rings and an episode of The Office.

An all black dress code sounds much easier to navigate. Use different textures to break it up - a lace high necked top under a jacket so there's some skin on show but you're still warm; velvet or satin; statement jewellery that's still black but has some sparkle or iridescence.

Or scare the fuck out of her and go full goth a la Dani Filth. Black lipstick? Totally on message.

How many photos on social media actually show all the guests?

As a guest I have never been included in the wedding photos. It's alwys been the couple and the wedding party.

I think that with a certain environment/setting this could be really amazing.

The setting in my head is in a hot sunny climate, everyone showing a bit of (tanned) skin, outdoors, guests on white chairs, a white marquee tent with a black and white decor theme. White flowers Also a beach setting with white sand.

However, from what I have taken from OPs posts, it is quite the opposite. I am assuming here (so not blasting for assumption please) that OP in up North somewhere, it will be cold weather, the church/venue is cold, therefore possibly a darker more serene setting. People will be huddled up in their black attire.

I just don't think this is going to work out as the bride has anticipated. The setting is all wrong for this. What if it's a grey rainy day too, yikes.

Again, apologies if I am assuming, but it sounds like one of the couple are close family members. If this is the case, might it be worth a try to suggest some relaxation to the rigid rule? I know it sounds like the bride has set her mind on this, but it is not worth a try?. As to me, this sounds like it will be the most dreary wedding. Sorry.

Slightly different but we have been invited to a family wedding where men have been ordered to wear kilts. DH doesn't have a kilt and hates how he looks in a kilt so would never chose to wear one. But because the bride wants men in kilts for the photographs he's expected to be uncomfortable all day. And pay £150 to hire a kilt!

DH is a very kind man but also quite good at boundaries so he's just said no - I expect he won't be the only one

I suspect a lot of the blokes with charcoal suits would think close enough and turn up in that instead. It just doesn't sound like the bride is going to get the 'look' she wants.

This is an interesting thread. I wouldn’t mind this because I have a couple of black dresses (which I bought for my Dad’s funeral - but I like them all the same).

Where are they getting married? If it is in a church then it seems a bit rude to the minister to make everyone dress in black. I’m always surprised to see people wearing black at weddings (usually in the US) because it used to mean that they were ill wishing the bride.

I wouldn’t set this dress code myself because I wouldn’t trust all my friends and family to read it and follow it (delightful that they are). It would be a shame if an older guest felt out of place because she’s wearing pink.

Yup its one wedding which I can take or leave.