Wedding Dress Code - Only Black Allowed

[YorkshirePuddingsGreatestFan]

I'm going to a wedding but the bride has specified that all guests must wear black only and no colours. Not even coloured shoes or accessories. Herself and the groom will both be wearing white.

She's seen a video online which I've looked at with a black dress code. However that wedding is outdoors in sunny weather. The women are all wearing clothes that show plenty of skin - bare arms, bare legs, low necklines in lightweight fabrics. The various shades of skin breaks the black clothing up and it looks ok.

This wedding is in the winter in a very cold location, so I'll need to be wearing heavier fabric with long sleeves, high neckline and thick tights on. I would imagine the other women will be covering up to keep warm. I don't think it'll work as there will be no skin to break the black colour up. I think we'll all just look like one big black lump with several heads on the group photos!

I also don't suit black at all. I'm very pale skinned and it makes me look washed out and unwell. My mother has pale skin and is also concerned about this.

Just wondering if anyone has been to a wedding with such a strict dress code and how did it turn out?

Wearing a general style with a general degree of formality is entirely different to being told to wear one colour only.

Thankfully all the weddings I've been to have been about creating an enjoyable day, not about curating everyone's clothes so everyone looks the same in a couple of photos.

If I thought the bride was petulant and immature I probably wouldn't be her friend in the first place and so wouldn't be getting this wedding invite.

I'm sure job interviewers can deal with seeing applicants in jeans and T-shirts. Most dress codes aren't strictly logical or practically necessary. If any dress code angers you this much you're free to not go, I guess.

If you care then you should respect their choices for their wedding. It's not your event, it's theirs.

@gannett we've agreed on something, this wouldn't happen to me because I wouldn't be friends with someone, petulant, immature or childish!

You clearly think k different to me, of course the bride is not the only shallow person in the world, they'll be others!

Your argument about formal wear for an interview is so so so funny! Carry on, you're marking yourself look ridiculous!

Or you're the bride?

@viridiano the groom doesn't want it....

I'd be supporting the groom to put in place very firm boundaries before he gets married.

You're not paying for it, then. You don't get a say.

Well I’m afraid you don’t sound very supportive now. All your posts have been about how you don’t like or look good in black, how you won’t feel comfortable, how you wanted a lovely photo of everyone and now you’ll all look awful… not a thought for the couple actually getting married.

Maybe you think the groom shouldn’t have given in to the bride about the dress code. Maybe you’re right. But he has, and it’s his wedding, no matter how much of a milestone you think it is for you. If you genuinely have supported the groom all his life, don’t stop now. Buy a black frock on Vinted, sell it again after the wedding and, if you’re that desperate for a picture of you and yours in colourful outfits, just Photoshop it.

Is the bride(zilla) going to appoint bouncers at the wedding venue door and eject anyone turning up in Fuchsia pink or Cobalt blue? I can’t remember what any one wore at my wedding. I do remember one guest at my daughters wedding though, she wore a one shoulder floor length fitted number with a thigh high split up one side of the dress in Electric blue. Eye catching was the word.,

Never been to one, and given it is several months away, I think your response should be a polite declining of the invite.

You mean you’d stick your oar in. Why doesn’t that surprise me?

My money is on over-invested aunt.

Thankfully all the weddings I've been to have been about creating an enjoyable day, not about curating everyone's clothes so everyone looks the same in a couple of photos.

Same here @DappledThings

Yes, same here!

@StockpotSoup no, but I'd be supporting the group, he is about to marry a controlling person!

Groom not group

You could do that through a quiet, private conversation. That’s what someone who was genuinely concerned would do. Not make a petulant fuss because they couldn’t wear emerald green at the wedding.

@YorkshirePuddingsGreatestFan

''It's still a milestone to me when I've supported the groom through his whole life.''

After reading this update I think there is a backstory to this...

Are you the mother or sister of the groom?

Is there a little bit of competition between you and his wife to be or do you disapprove of her full stop? do you feel excluded from the wedding planning?

Because it seems to me you are going out of your way to find reasons to complain about her choices...

I think the last thing the groom needs is the people close to him making a fuss and putting him in an impossible position of having to take the side of his partner or of a close female relative or friend...

Seriously he won't thank you for the additional stress.

It really is a case of doing your best to help make their big day go smoothly, not to cause additional drama.

@StockpotSoup I would not be going to the wedding, I've said that soooo many times!

I would not go to a wedding with a bridezilla that dictates to "guests" what to wear.

That was before it was told that OP was a groom invitee

You're not paying for it, then. You don't get a say.

She's paying for her clothes, if she's forced to buy new ones she doesn't like. What a waste.
In any case, the idea that inviting people to your wedding is solely for your own benefit is really odd. Marriage is a partnership, it's about give and take - a crappy attitude towards guests and making it all me-me-me sounds like a bad start tbh.

@StockpotSoup I would not be going to the wedding, I've said that soooo many times!

Which I’m sure would be a blessed relief for all concerned.

I think it's rude to make your ordinary guests wear a specific colour. Bridesmaids I understand, but not everyone.

Signed, someone who - other than a jacket - doesn't have anything black

I'd go for washed black rather than true black - much more flattering on people who struggle with black.

A statement necklace in a metal that suits may also help.

Another tip is to have a sheer or lace panel near the neckline / face as that allows skin colour to show through. This sort of thing.

https://www.brandalley.co.uk/18601177.html?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Pmax+-+Gift&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=&utm_id=go_cmp-20843497840_adg-_ad-__dev-m_ext-_prd-18601179_mca-119667858_sig-CjwKCAiAiP2tBhBXEiwACslfno9G9LB67hKBnppaQiYiFElhqVNyOG25rldjtwdqISXS0uF9KT-ldxoCHQ0QAvD_BwE&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAiP2tBhBXEiwACslfno9G9LB67hKBnppaQiYiFElhqVNyOG25rldjtwdqISXS0uF9KT-ldxoCHQ0QAvD_BwE

Miaow!!

Well presumably if they'd extended me an invite they would want me there? Or are you so two faced you'd send an invite to people who you didn't want there, just for the present and the insta?

People can regret issuing an invitation…

Thankfully all the weddings I've been to have been about creating an enjoyable day, not about curating everyone's clothes so everyone looks the same in a couple of photos.

Unfortunately, for the photos, not everyone in black will look the same.

There are many shades of black and darker black will make some black shades look washed out.

And great aunt Mabel is likely going to look like she's wearing widow's weeds, or maybe all the guest at the wedding are young and very glamourous.

Maybe anyone who won't make the photos look good just won't be included in any photos at all.