Is this what social mobility looks like? Multimillionaire sister / benefit dependant sister

[notknowledgeable]

A friend of mine in council accommodation entirely reliant on benefits has a sister who is a multimillionaire.

I have been aware of this situation for over a decade, and find it unusual. They seem to be on good terms and visit each other's houses. I know rich sister helped poor sister out once or twice with train fare to family events, but nothing more than that, I don't think.

They come from a fairly average middle class home, father a professional, mother worked part time. Parents remained in their middle class home until father died and mother moved into nursing home.

Both are graduates, both are single mums.

The only time I am aware of it causing any problems are when one cousin ( from council flat) got into trouble at school for "lying" about who her aunty is - she was telling the truth but no one believed her.

I suppose in a truly socially mobile society, this should be common, but I think it is an unusual situation. Perhaps it is more common that I think.

YABU - this is how it should be, and/or this situation is common
YANBU - this is rare.

"Sorry to be cynical, but in most cases where a relatively young woman has achieved great success, there is some personal connection to a man (or men) along the way. Whether it be as a partner, divorce settlement, inheritance etc"

Aren't you a delight?!.

I can't imagine being a multi millionaire and not helping my sister financially if she were struggling.

Sounds like they have a lovely relationship. It's not that rare.

Having money or otherwise won't change their social class really. Nouveau riche and all that. It will benefit their children though. Class change always takes a generation (IMO, I don't have any stats to base that on).

I think it's pretty common for siblings to end up leading very different lives. Your upbringing only plays a small part in who you become as an adult, after all.

Based on what the op has said it is her ex-sil (brothers ex-wife) who she is good friends with.

Why are you on this national forum? You were obviously interested enough to answer, so perhaps others may be interested too?

I think that the disparity is greater because they have gone different directions from their start point - both started middle class, one went up the other down.

How can there be no job she’s suited for? In a multimillion pound company you’ll have everything from HR to PAs, to receptionists. And depending on the company, logistics. I temped for Richard Branson once, his sister was his PA. There’s always A job. Doesn’t have to be doing whatever high flying thing the company does overall. And this is a degree level educated person - there would be something she could do.

It has nothing to do with class /social mobility. They are individuals. It doesn't matter that they have the same parents and had the same upbringing, they are still individuals with their own unique personalities. Having the same start in life doesn't mean you'll have the same life.

Not the main point of OP’s post, but if I was a multi millionaire and my siblings had no addiction problems (which I would try and support them with) I would given them some financial support. Even my brother who I am not that close to. What’s the point of having lots of money and not sharing it with people you care about.

The thing is, it's not always that simple. Giving money to family can cause all kinds of rifts and drama, even when relationships were previously good.

Even very rich & famous people have tried to help out family members with issues (not just financial). Life’s not that simple.

It’s not at all. The majority of people I know in my town (Beaconsfield) had normal or low income childhoods and did well for themselves.

My DH is from a council house in the north and just worked had at school, choose a well paid career and worked really hard at it.

If she gives the sister cash she will lose her benefits I’m guessing? So to give her any significant help would mean either she would be financing the sister for life, or she would give the sister a leg up and the sister would have to then find a job to continue the lifestyle. Maybe she’s lazy, has no intention of working and would rather stay on benefits than take a handout which would mean she loses them 🤷🏼‍♀️

I am not talking about changing class, whatever that means, Iam talking about belonging on different stratas financially

They are both living two extremes, so yes, that's unusual. You don't normally have that, i don't know really. What is probably more normal is one sibling is more independent or ambitious than others, it depends. But to be a multimillionaire, some of it is luck.

No, none of those positions exist, they don't exist in all companies.

I don’t think it is that unusual for siblings to have different levels of wealth at all! Many people with degrees are on benefits. Some degrees are not that useful and things happen in life that mean people don’t follow the career they started.

If she could change her siblings life for the better with absolutely no consequence to her own, then this is morally wrong. It’s a bit like Jeff Bezos being able to save millions of lives a year with barely a dent in his profits, and choosing not to.

It does depend on how many millions she has though.

When I think of women I know from modest backgrounds who have risen to the top of a profession and are wealthy (millionaires but not ‘multi millionaires’), there’s usually one sibling who’s become wealthy through a different route (perhaps they didn’t go to university but set up a business) and there’s usually a sibling who’s the opposite (usually the brother if I’m being honest).

So I think often those from modest backgrounds who are financially successful have drive and ambition, self confidence, maybe they have had role models in the extended family and encouragement. All of which are also more likely to apply to other siblings too, but not always.

Sorry to be cynical, but in most cases where a relatively young woman has achieved great success, there is some personal connection to a man (or men) along the way. Whether it be as a partner, divorce settlement, inheritance etc.

@User2356542 - where is your evidence for this? Or is it just an assumption? I know a few self-made millionaire women. One was working class, went to uni and worked her way up to the top of a multinational corporation from graduate traineeship. Another trained as an architect, lived simply and made very wise investments which rocketed in value meaning she could retire in her thirties. Another two wrote international best-sellers. None of them dependent on men, inheritance or divorce settlements at any stage. I've never met a super-wealthy woman whose money came from men.

The sister is working. She is a TA.

I appreciate help has to be given wisely, but I would want to help my family.

Just because sibling is a multi millionaire doesn't mean she has to provide for sibling. I always thought if I won lottery (big), I'd look after my 3 siblings and nieces and nephews. However my one sibling and niece are multi millionaires and haven't done the same, their money, their choice.