Is this what social mobility looks like? Multimillionaire sister / benefit dependant sister

[notknowledgeable]

A friend of mine in council accommodation entirely reliant on benefits has a sister who is a multimillionaire.

I have been aware of this situation for over a decade, and find it unusual. They seem to be on good terms and visit each other's houses. I know rich sister helped poor sister out once or twice with train fare to family events, but nothing more than that, I don't think.

They come from a fairly average middle class home, father a professional, mother worked part time. Parents remained in their middle class home until father died and mother moved into nursing home.

Both are graduates, both are single mums.

The only time I am aware of it causing any problems are when one cousin ( from council flat) got into trouble at school for "lying" about who her aunty is - she was telling the truth but no one believed her.

I suppose in a truly socially mobile society, this should be common, but I think it is an unusual situation. Perhaps it is more common that I think.

YABU - this is how it should be, and/or this situation is common
YANBU - this is rare.

I would buy a house in my name for my sister and let her live in it as her own, but I would do the repairs ( unless she was wilfully trashing it).
I cannot understand why someone with so much money wouldn't want to make a difference to others.
So I hope the situation would be unusual.

If I was a multi millionaire I would want to help my sisters out. But maybe the sister doesn’t want to be helped out? Maybe she’s content as she is?

Many saying that if she’s a multimillionaire she should help her sister out by buying her a house etc. I find that an extraordinary idea.
For one thing we have no idea of this person’s wealth really. You can have a 5 bedroom detached house in parts of the country for £500K and in other parts that costs £3 million. You can take all the money out of your company or you can keep it in and invested. You can “wear” your wealth or save it. We have no idea where the rich sis fits on this range of options.
So at what level of wealth would you expect to be bought a house? If sister has £2 million, £10 million, more?
The quickest way to destroy a relationship is to make someone dependent on you.

I would fucking hate to have a big house but have to spend so much time working to pay for it that I'm never in it.

Good point.

Same here. I wouldn't sit on a pile of money while my siblings struggled.

Then again, I get on really well with my siblings and they are all lovely people.

It sounds like the siblings aren't that close or maybe the rich sister thinks the poor sister is lazy. If rich sister is using words like 'ignorant' to describe poor sister, she probably doesn't like her very much.

There are other ways to help people out other than financial handouts, teach a man to fish and all that

One shouldn’t measure success only in terms of money.

I out-earn a sibling but that sibling has a wonderful child (my nephew) who brings endless joy to his parents. We are both happy.

Then there’s a family member who is utterly ghastly and who we’re both NC with that has piles and piles of money. The only thing this family member is successful at, as far as the rest of the family is concerned, is alienating and driving away their relatives!

Perhaps the one on benefits needs to put their degree to better use, or perhaps they’re simply both happy in the worlds they live in.

What does the 'poor sister' having every other weekend free got to do with it? Weird thread all round.

If her ex-partner (or their family) was involved in any way then she has not achieved social mobility, she was just lucky or looks attractive. Did her business receive any starting investment/capital from her former partner? Did she get any lump sum or high value asset as part of the divorce?

Sorry to be cynical, but in most cases where a relatively young woman has achieved great success, there is some personal connection to a man (or men) along the way. Whether it be as a partner, divorce settlement, inheritance etc.

@User2356542

The OP has said she’s achieved professional success. It’s extremely weird when you’ve been told that you’d assume she got there via a bloke. You have some extremely peculiar sexist, miserable, negative ideas. Get a grip on yourself

Ah yes, the nouveau riche; bling, bling lables, no taste, no discretion

It is v weird. I think OP is rich sister. The giveaway was her calling poor sister ignorant.

I got a big payout( compensation for an horrific accident...Well deliberate...) which left me disabled.. l bought my council house.. the house l was born in.. l could have bought a million pound house.. but l wouldn't have been happy moving..
I bought my daughters an house each near me.
The rest is in the bank for my daughters and Grandsons.
If they need money now they get it
I just live like l would have done had l not got it.
Yes l don't have to worry.
I can go on holiday whenever.
But we don't go overboard.
Everything is just the same .. just no money worries.
But I'd give it all back to not be disabled physically and mentally.

I don't understand why you are discussing their business here. One of these sisters is your friend. Does she know you have posted quite an outing description of her and her sister's situation?

I think you do get a lot of variety amongst siblings, but this is obviously a quite extreme case.

I cannot imagine doing well and not helping my family out though.

Strange & slightly unsavoury thread IMO

@Moier I am so sorry that happened to you.

My DB is very wealthy, I am not. I’m a carer for a disabled child, not sure why you think the disparity in our income is abnormal? He had a different set of life circumstances to me despite the same upbringing. That is normal.

As regards property, it’s so expensive here that I’ve seen Victorian terraced houses at £800k.

Regarding wealthy siblings - there’s no obligation to sub the rest of your family. They may not even want you to and you may find yourself questioning their approach if they do

Perfect example of two people with same upbringing. One making bad choices and expecting other people to pay for her bad choices.

It’s peculiar she doesn’t help her sister towards a better lifestyle eg with childcare so she can use her degree. If the wealthier sister is really wealthy I’d also think it was normal to provide her sibling with better housing when she was able.

No need to offer her a role in the company though, that would be odd.

Why tight? She made success happen for her, so why does she have to just hand it out? They were both raised the same yet took different paths.
I know siblings in exactly the same situation. One hugely successful, very wealthy but worked insanely hard to achieve that. The other two siblings also had the opportunity to study, use their degrees to pursue a career path but didn't. One chose to start a family early and didn't do anything after that, the other expected to ride on the coattails of the wealthy sibling . Suffice to say that the wealthy one won't do anything for the user sibling yet always looks like the bad one.

@theduchessofspork and why on earth should they??? All adults here, all made their choices.

From your OP

A friend of mine in council accommodation entirely reliant on benefits

So she's totally reliant on benefits yet she is working? It's 1 or the other not both. Working and receiving top-up benefits is different to being entirely reliant on benefits.

I think you have an agenda here.