Is this what social mobility looks like? Multimillionaire sister / benefit dependant sister

[notknowledgeable]

A friend of mine in council accommodation entirely reliant on benefits has a sister who is a multimillionaire.

I have been aware of this situation for over a decade, and find it unusual. They seem to be on good terms and visit each other's houses. I know rich sister helped poor sister out once or twice with train fare to family events, but nothing more than that, I don't think.

They come from a fairly average middle class home, father a professional, mother worked part time. Parents remained in their middle class home until father died and mother moved into nursing home.

Both are graduates, both are single mums.

The only time I am aware of it causing any problems are when one cousin ( from council flat) got into trouble at school for "lying" about who her aunty is - she was telling the truth but no one believed her.

I suppose in a truly socially mobile society, this should be common, but I think it is an unusual situation. Perhaps it is more common that I think.

YABU - this is how it should be, and/or this situation is common
YANBU - this is rare.

"How it should be" meaning in a society which has true free mobility, then the starting point of any pair of siblings should have no baring on the end point, and siblings from the same background should have vastly differing outcomes in life - and I am asking if this is actually happening

My siblings and I have all done a lot ‚better‘ in terms of career and life than one of our siblings who lives in a council house and now works a minimum wage job after being at home for 20 years. It was life choices. FWIW she is quite the bitter, unpleasant woman with few social skills so it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Yes, I have no reason not to think they are both happy, although possibly the poorer one more so than the richer one

Why did rich sister not bring the other sister on board with the business perhaps their relationship isn't close.

Sociologists call this "long range social mobility". It is highly unusual. It's more common to be upwardly (or downwardly) mobile over a shorter range. Making lots of money may not equal class mobility and its a credit to both of them that they get on well.

Why would she? If your sibling started their own business as a teen at university would you want or expect to "be on board"? Anyway, it is in a sector that poorer sister knows nothing about

"How it should be" meaning in a society which has true free mobility, then the starting point of any pair of siblings should have no baring on the end point, and siblings from the same background should have vastly differing outcomes in life - and I am asking if this is actually happening

But you know it's actually happening - you said that it is.

When you say "should", do you really mean "could" though? I assume you're not suggesting that we as a society morally should be striving for that kind of wealth disparity?

Obviously, people end up on benefits for all sorts of reasons, regardless of education or background. Im still unclear as to what you're trying to find out.

O! There is a word for it! Thank you

@notknowledgeable if I was close to my sibling then yes I would get them onboard. Surely there is an area they can learn or be trained in. Dont think that's too extreme really.

@notknowledgeable are you the rich sister op.

I cant see any social mobility for the more affluent sister. You said that they come from a fairly average middle class home, father a professional, mother worked part time. So solidly middle class and that is what you describe now. She has not become upper class but is a middle class professional as her father was

The other sister has experienced downward mobility

OP isn't one of the siblings, so none of us actually know what conversations have or haven't occurred between these sisters.

Anything could have been discussed and we'd have no idea as we're on the outside of their relationship and personal finances, etc.

well, I am talking financially, not about class - she earns probably over 100x what her parents ever did

I agree that money doesn’t equal class mobility. I know an incredibly rich family who flaunt their wealth (originally working class and self made) we’re talking multiple high end vehicles. Kids and parents wearing very expensive clothes (I’m talking Hermes not Gucci). But I am aware of old wealth and they’re walking around in hand me downs and drive an old Volvo (no lie)!

Working with family in business can be hard and break relationships especially when one knows nothing about it.

Well no, not really, not only is poorer sister totally ignorant of this subject, and would need years and a degree, but the area is flooded with perfectly capable knowledgeable graduates, so why would sister be an employment prospect?

And never mind the unfairness of employing an ignorant and unskilled relative over a capable and ambitious graduate in the subject!

U@notknowledgeable would love to know who you are in the situation because you seem to know the ins and outs of it all, your also coming across slightly angry about it for some reason.

Sounds fairly normal to me. I doubt that the sister on benefits really wants a wealth share handout from her sister. Would it even be considered if the well off sister wasn’t single.

There is a great deal of difference between myself and siblings. In our circumstances I think it’s down to some being risk adverse.

Possibly because bringing clueless people without the required skills on board is exactly how you fuck up your promising business.

Its a bit of an outlier and the reaction really does emphasize the lack of social mobility in society generally. There is also a wider point that as incomes diverge so do a lot of other social factors. Access to a good education, health and the networks to become more successful widens, and then passes onto the children etc etc

I don’t think it’s rare at all. My SIL is a multimillionaire. A top person in her field, very well known. There’s a few brothers & sisters. Some expect money from her, some don’t. Some are doing well, some aren’t. We certainly struggle. I’ve never asked her for anything. Her sisters have no problem putting their hand out. And MIL gets the hump if she doesn’t help fund them.

No I am not angry. This is actually my relative's ex, so we are good friends and I am Aunty to her children